Private Medicine Cat's Den A drag path, etched in the surface. As evidence, I left there on purpose. // Jinglemoon

[Thunderpaw Thunderpaw]

———————————————— Everything she's ever known is gone, gone, gone. ✦

Stirred before the sun had even risen above the horizon, Thunderpaw had found her sleep fitful. No, more than that, she felt like she had barely slept. She still felt vacant, only the dull ache in her ears keeping her grounded; every so often, if she lay strangely or opened her jaw too wide, it reverberated out into her temples and jaw. She tried to tuck her nose beneath her paw, pretend she was okay. But oh, Starclan, it was impossible to.

She had poured her heart out to Pikestar until her throat felt raw, her eyes stung with tears, and she felt as if everything was crumpling all around her. Thunderpaw thought her time in the tallgrass and with a cat she felt safe beside would have helped her, but learning that everyone else was slowly giving up on Rain made the wound reopen worse than before.

That's what it felt like, a gash torn through her very being. It wasn't just for Rain, but for her mother and seeing her body limp in Russetfall's jaws, the stories of older siblings and a father she never got to meet in anything but stories. Even then, she was the only one who seemed to remember any of them, and it ate her up inside. There was only so much Pikestar could do; he couldn't heal a wound or help her with her ears-

But there was one cat who could.

She had only glanced at him the days before, nothing more. But now... Thunderpaw clenched her jaw and immediately winced, tears prickling her eyes. There was little choice in the matter. If Rainpaw were here, she would have scolded Thunderpaw for letting them get so bad and drag her there herself.

'It's for Rainpaw.' She thought to herself, pushing herself from her nest and padding towards the medicine den. 'Do it for Rainpaw.' Thunderpaw repeated, nodding quietly as she pushed her way into the medicine den, peering around.

For a second, there was some bitter hope she would see her there, a fluffy greyish mop of fur smiling back as she shifted her fur out of the way to meet her sister's gaze. But there stood Jinglemoon, awake before the sunrise, distracted with something.

Thunderpaw felt the smallest she had been since her mother died. Looking to the medicine cat, she did not feel the tensing fear she had within Pikestar's den, but she simply felt tiny again. She had to take a shaky breath before she finally spoke. "Jinglemoon?" Her words came out more of a wobbled whisper; words had not come easily to her in the past days, but she tried. "Can I have your help with something, please?" She tried to ignore the absence, the emptiness of her nest, and tried to focus on the cat before her. Jinglemoon, whom she had grown so resentful of, suddenly felt like a lifeline.

—————— Everyone she's ever loved

is gone, gone, gone. ——————

• Backwritten to two days after the October meeting and one day after Thunderpaw talking to Pikestar.
• 
  Thunderpaw
  ✦—Riverclan apprentice | 11 moons
  ✦—She/Her
  ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  ✦—A stocky cinnamon sealpoint molly with long curled ears and cold blue eyes.
  #C08969