lol
☼ COUGARPAW ☼
"A DIAMOND IN THE MUD"
"A DIAMOND IN THE MUD"
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★ COUGARPAW → named for his mother's love of gemstones
★ AMAB → he/him?
★ panromantic demisexual → single
★ 4 moons → ages realistically on the ?st
★ shadowclan → apprentice
PREVIOUSLY NAMED - N/A.
PREVIOUS RANKS - n/a
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★ From the moment that Cougarpaw graces the world, he's... well, short for any other word, huge. His paws flop uncomfortably, make it difficult for him to learn how to walk, his shoulders broad and head large, all proportionally wrong and funky. He'll struggle at an early age with this, trying to shrink himself to feel closer to his sibling's size, eyes downcast- aware that it makes him stand out. As he grows older, his paws will match with long legs, a body that stands taller then most, generally large. He'll learn to stand upright rather then hunch down, his ears forward and eyes narrowed generally. Not so much proud as neutral, just trying to blend in.
Cougarpaw is painted in shades of white, lilac and chocolate. He isn't split half and half, like a true chimera would be, rather with lilac painting most of his body, and the chocolate becoming an interruption in that pattern. White covers most of his underbody, brightening up an already light color- then chocolate finds its way across his body to dapple all three legs but one. A splotch finds it's way onto his shoulder and tail, an ear- and covers his left eye, almost dripping from his right eye. It's a less saturated chocolate, matching better with the lilac, at least. Rosettes dapple the lilac tabby, spotting across his body.
His fur is long. As he grows older, he'll learn to take better care of the fur and it's relatively neutral texture, but laments how hot it makes him during greenleaf, and at how mud sticks to him no matter how he approaches it. In fact, the mud of Shadowclan likely blends in with the chocolate patches, which Cougarpaw will come to hate. With his long hair, a set of tufts drift down over his forehead and curl to his left side. It's unsure if these will come to grow longer in time or not.
His right eye is a pale blue color, almost shining like an opal's main coloration, where his left eye- dappled with chocolate- is a pale, wheat yellow. Neither are a reflection of his parents, really, but rather how the glimmer of an opal looks. His skin is a light, unsaturated pink, and all of his toebeans reflect this. His right ear curls over from ear mites.
★ smells like milk and moss → sounds like tba
★ aesthetic board → toyhouse
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★ GROWTH. CONFUSION IN BOUNDS OF SELF RELEVANCE. SHARP BRISTLES AND SHARPER TEETH. A TEDDY BEAR IN WOLF'S CLOTHING.
-> Those foundations- quiet defiance, a sweet tongue that sours under stress, a heart wrapped in armor and prickly from the outside- do not vanish as Cougarpaw ages. When he earns his apprentice name, these traits don't shed like a kitten's downy fur. They harden. They deepen. He's afraid that mask that hides the cracks in his soul may be peeled back. Apprenticeship will be the first thing that tests the mask, if it will be ripped free or be stuck forever.
-> The ravines that separated the different parts of Cougarkit- now Cougarpaw- blend together. They become short and sour, sweet but sharp. His emotions are scattered and confused, and as he continues to grow- notably larger then his littermates, or peer-aged apprentices- he feels even more like a sore thumb. He sticks out from the bunch, vulnerably and exposed. There is no defined edge to his personality like before, when things were simpler as a kit. He is jumbled, and oft, this translates to training as well. He may struggle with correction from his mentor. A gentle nudge may mean withdrawing further within his shell, his shield, to hide his heart.
-> Grudges linger longer now, like the taste of once-sweet honey. If a denmate does anything that scorns, from mocking him to outshining him, Cougarpaw may remember it for days or weeks, keeping score in the dark corners of his mind. The places he doesn't visit, the places that scare him. He won't always act on it, but it definitely shapes the way he interacts with others. He does not forgive easy, finding it simpler to toss a sharp word or give a cold shoulder. It isn't disobedience, it a defense.
-> He does learn quickly, despite the more temper tantrum parts of him. Yet, afraid of being seen as vulnerable from failing, he practices alone. In secret, long into the hours of the night. He only reveals his skill when it's honed and sharp, making him look incredibly incompetent the day a new skill is introduced, only to arrive exhausted with this skill down pat. This messes with his mental, nightmares churning in his mind from his own negativity and the lack of good sleep. His body aches, but his claws and mind are sharp yet with knowledge passed unto him. Under the right mentor, however, one that's patient and can read him for filth- he may just begin to learn to trust others with his heart.
★ FEAR // LOSING HIMSELF - He's afraid of losing himself as much as finding himself. The shield that he hides behind and will begin to wear as a mask- is that him, or is he something else? This ties into his gender issues I'll experiment with later in his life as well.
★ FEAR // BEING TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF - Given all of what was discussed above, he's understandably afraid of being taken advantage of. He keeps some of the sharper tongued apprentices further away from him, ones he feel may be two-faced or backstab him. He's a little paranoid in this regard.
★ FEAR // TRUE PATERNAL BOND - Having two fathers and not really knowing which one is his makes him fear connection with either of them. He may keep them at arms-length. (I think this would be ESPECIALLY juicy if he ends up with one of them as his mentor... or, his sibling's mentor.)
★ INSPRIATION // SHADOWCLAN STRENGTH - Of course the place he lives, especially from a young age, will give him inspiration. The way they manage to survive in a heavily wet environment, through leafbare and greenleaf, will give him something to look forward to protecting.
★ INSPRIATION // SIBLINGS - His siblings (potentially four or five of them!) and their development may be the extra nudge he needs into developing a backbone.
★ INSPRIATION // RIVALRY - I think a rivalry may also give him the means to make himself stronger, especially in the matter of showing off a talent once he's perfected it. -
★ PARENTS jadethorn x coalstrike (x wolfpack)
★ sibling to ADD THEM HERE★ mentored by here → mentored here → currently mentoring here
★ mates with here → crushing on here → how many/no offspring
FRIENDS here
ADMIRES here
DISLIKES here
HISTORY history here -
★ peaceful and healing powerplay allowed
★ medium difficulty to battle → is not inherently violent
★ may start fights → may end fights → will run away
★ hard difficulty to talk to → not open to speaking to just anyone
★ okay hunter → okay fighter → okay mediator
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