Open Camp WC dust in the wind // return to camp

[Pebblestep]

Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die

.

At first, Pebblepaw hadn't wanted to return home. What was there to return to? Everything was dust in the wind. Eventually, all things faded, perhaps it was time he did, too. But the look on Meadowpaw's face had struck something deep inside him, tugging at strings he thought long severed. It was the kind of look that made running feel cruel. And so, with his head bowed and his heart heavy, he conceded. He gave one last farewell to the strange barn cat called Hayloft, a brief, trembling nod that spoke of gratitude and quiet resignation. Perhaps their paths would cross again someday. Or perhaps, like everything else in this world, Hayloft too would wither and fade into memory.

The journey back was wordless. Pebblepaw followed in Meadowpaw's shadow, his paws dragging numbly over the earth, eyes fixed on the movement of her mismatched steps. He didn't look up. Didn't glance behind him. Didn't dare. There was nothing left to find. Alder was gone. So many were gone. Lost to flame, to grief, to time. All was lost, even him. He was wrong. He was broken. He was... Not here. More than once, he thought to tell Meadowpaw she should leave him behind, forget him. She deserved better than the empty shell he'd become. But every time the thought rose, the image of her face stopped him cold. That look, that desperate, hopeful look, was a lifeline he couldn't cut.

He'd rather choke on barbs than add another wound to her heart.

By the time the camp came into view, his chest felt tight. Fear pooled in his throat like ash. Would Nutmegpurr be angry? Would Dustystar? And what had happened here...? The WindClan camp looked ravaged, marked by struggle and ruin. Pebblepaw froze at the entrance, turquoise eyes wide as they swept over the scene. His fur, torn and scarred, felt foreign on his body, a map of mistakes etched into skin. The long gash that crossed his eye burned when he blinked. He was still an apprentice by name, but by moons... He should have been a warrior.

Slowly, he forced his paws to move.

Dustystar's familiar form came into view, and the weight in his chest tightened until it hurt to breathe. He opened his mouth, to explain, to apologize, to say something... But no sound came. What could he possibly say that would make up for everything? For the moon he'd spent chasing ghosts and fairy tales? For believing that love alone could undo death? For being foolish enough to hope? Those had been the dreams of a kit, a child who still believed his parents could l i v e. He wasn't that kit anymore. Pebblepaw lowered his gaze, ears burning with shame. When he finally found his voice, it was small, cracked, and fragile.

" ... Sorry. "

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13 MOONS

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[Dustystar Dustystar]

✪ Align my Heart, my Body, my Mind​

indentDustystar's nose wrinkles. Over the smell of damp soil that permeates the camp, she's sure she can smell something else. A familiar scent, one she hasn't smelled in quite some time. Tenderly, she removes herself from the memorial garden and returns the short few tail-lengths back into camp. She's sure it's just her mind playing tricks, but she needs to check, just to be sure.

indentFreed from the scent of late-autumn foliage, the scent becomes even stronger. It's beckons Dustystar towards it's owner, the young tomcat entering camp. "Pebblepaw. It's really you!" Her voice is light. Eagerly, she goes to meet his gaze, expecting the lively shine she had gotten so used to. Instead, she's taken aback by Pebblepaw's defeated expression. He's never looked so broken, before. Not even when...

indent'Does this mean he's finally realized?' Frowning, Dustystar examines the apprentices closely, searching for signs of injury or illness. "Where were you? What were you doing?" She's worried she might already know the answer. "We sent search parties, but they turned up nothing. We were all worried sick."

Dustystar - 27 moons - Windclan Leader

 

[Pebblestep]

Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die

.

The tone of Dustystar's voice struck him harder than any claws ever had. Gentle. Worried. Kind. Pebblepaw flinched from it as though it burned. He didn't understand. He couldn't understand. Why did Meadowpaw speak to him with such trembling relief? Why did Dustystar look at him as though he mattered? Why had either of them cared at all? He was just one cat among many, not special, not needed. Lost. So terribly, hopelessly lost. His gaze climbed to his leader's face for only a heartbeat before dropping again, unable to bear the weight of those concerned eyes. He stared instead at his filthy paws, caked with mud and ash and everything he wished he could scrub from himself. New scars dragged pale lines across his body, each one a reminder of the rogue who had torn into him, trying to strip away what little he had left. The wounds were healing now, but far too slowly and not in the places that mattered.

He should have died. He had waited for it. He had stared up at a sky full of stars that glimmered too brightly, stars that had answered nothing, saved nothing. Stars that had not brought Alder home. A bitter thought twisted through him, they shine for everyone, but they didn't shine for me. Where was Icepaw? Where were their parents? Where was Alder? Dead. Gone. Lost. The words rang hollow in his chest, too heavy to swallow. And all he had left was Gorsepaw and even she would be better off without the broken creature he'd become.

" I... Was searching for faer... " Pebblepaw finally breathed, the confession trembling its way out of him. Tears welled in his eyes, and he blinked them back violently, refusing to crack open in front of everyone. What use was crying? What could it change? " I came home fruitless... " he whispered. " They're dead. They're all dead. Everyone. I was... I was a fool to think otherwise. A fool. " His shoulders sagged fully then, as if the truth had finally settled its claws into him and dragged him down. He lowered his head before Dustystar, voice barely audible. " ... I will accept whatever punishment you give me. I'll accept it if you don't want me to return to WindClan at all. "

He swallowed hard, tasting dirt and dread. " They shouldn't have worried... " he murmured, shaking his head as if he could dislodge the idea entirely. " Not for me. Not for someone like me... "

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13 MOONS

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[Dustystar Dustystar]

✪ Align my Heart, my Body, my Mind​

indentDustystar's brows knit together. "Pebblepaw..." Her voice is soft, but frustration and confusion singe the edges. Six entire moons, Pebblepaw had been chasing after dead cats, holding onto a dream of finding them alive. Holding onto that hope for so long had only caused him more pain, in the end, when it came crashing down.

indent"What you did was foolish, and reckless. Did you really think we wouldn't look for you? If you had died out there, we might have been searching forever." Just like Pebblepaw had been, clinging onto the shadow of what was long lost. "You're very dear to us, Pebblepaw. Please try and understand that."

indent"We could have used your help, though, this last moon. I'm not sure what the weather has been like where you were, but we've been dealing with terrible storms. The entire camp flooded, and most of our herb stock was destroyed." They've gotten to work rebuilding, but it's slow, tiring work. An extra set of paws would have been a lifesaver.

indentAlthough, maybe it's for the best he missed the flood. Dustystar isn't sure how the compounding tragedy would have affected him.

indentDustystar sighs, deep and defeated. "It's not like we can go back and change it now, though. Whats done is done." She shakes her head. "As for punishment - you'll have to help clean up after the storm, of course. That's hardly punishment though, everycat has been working tirelessly to see it done." SCahe regaurds the apprentice. It's not as if she can let him go completely unpunished, though. Cats need to know there are consequenses for acting foolishly. "Since you ran off looking for Alder, you'll be helping me and the medicine cats look after the memorial garden." There's not much to do, this time of year, except clearing dead stalks that would regrow come the spring. "You'll learn how to carry on the memory of what's been lost without rejecting the truth of what happened." It's a statement, not a question. Hopefully, the quiet contemplative work will do him some good.

Dustystar - 27 moons - Windclan Leader

 

[Pebblestep]

Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die

.

The words struck him one by one, each sinking into his chest like a stone. Pebblepaw's breath caught as his eyes began to gloss over, his stare fixed on his paws while his body went rigid. Had he really believed they wouldn't search for him? Yes. Some part of him had... The angry, venom-laced part that had grown like rot inside his ribs. The part that had whispered WindClan wouldn't waste time on someone like him. Just as they hadn't wasted time searching for Alder. Because fae was...

Dead.

The truth landed with a cruel thud. His anger had been misplaced. Foolish. Childish. And now the heat behind his eyes blurred everything. He blinked hard, but the blur refused to leave. Tears slipped between his paws before he could stop them. No. He had never believed his life held enough value for others to look for him. Not really. He believed himself expendable, still did. If that rogue had finished the job, Pebblepaw wasn't sure he would've minded. A fitting end for someone who'd failed so completely.

But the rogue had only laughed. Watched him break. And let him live.

" I'm... Sorry... " he whispered, voice no stronger than a leaf against wind. " I... I saw the storm, but... I didn't know. I couldn't... " His voice cracked into a sniff. He forced himself to lift his gaze at last, looking up at Dustystar. His ears flattened, trembling. " I can... I can help... " he offered, glancing around at the wreckage of the camp. The earth looked wrong. Torn. Like something massive had ripped through WindClan's heart. A flood... He could see it now in every broken line, every patch of ruined ground. Helping wasn't punishment. It was responsibility. And he would accept it.

But then Dustystar continued and that felt like punishment. Pebblepaw's head jerked slightly, turquoise eyes widening before dimming once more. The memorial garden. Of all tasks... That one cut deepest. A place built to honor what was lost. A place he'd be asked to tend, day after day, as though to remind him of all he had failed to keep alive. A bitter smile tugged faintly at his mouth. " ... Okay, Dustystar. " he murmured, voice thin. " I... I'll do it. "

A pause. The smallest, shaking breath. " What of my sister? Icepaw...? Gorsepaw...? " His voice dropped to a fragile whisper. " And... Is Nutmegpurr okay...? "

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13 MOONS

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[nutmegpurr nutmegpurr]

"I'm fine." her voice comes a bit after his return, following his question. Nutmegpurr brushes forth past the gathering cats, her eyes rounded with something akin to worry and… frustration. "Why didn't you tell me where you were going?" she asks- Dustystar had already asked where he was, what he had been doing, but its not enough. She doesn't think it'll ever be enough. Her tongue feels like ash in her mouth as she stares at him, her apprentice. Her apprentice who she thought was dead. Who she thought would have disappeared just like Maremane did. She thinks of Peafowlpaw's grief- would she had grieved the same? In a way, she had, and words cannot explain the relief she feels, and she cannot place the horror just the same.

Had Pebblepaw not trusted her enough to tell her? Had he thought she'd stop him? He would be right, but maybe… Maybe they could have figured something out.

"That was foolish of you, Pebblepaw." she doesn't think she can chastise him beyond that, because so many emotions bubble up in her chest that it makes her sick, a nauseous flip of her stomach making her shudder. "I'm just…" a shuddering breath, and she looks away. She can't bear to look at him, hates the feeling of such nervous relief in her chest. Truly, Nutmeg is happy, but her heart feels… conflicted, in a way. She saw how much Meadowpaw worried. She went through it herself. Everyone had missed him. "Glad you made it back in one piece…"

GOOD NEWS FOR ANYONE ♡ WHO LOVES BAD NEWS

• 
  
•  
• 
  NUTMEGPURR ♡
  
  ( gale guard of windclan )​
  ❥ a tall cinnamon tortie with curled ears & pink-brown eyes; well-muscled & fluffy
  ❥ mentoring pebblepaw
  ❥ sister to meadowpaw & peafowlpaw; reluctantly interested in roostertuft
  ❥ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ❥ penned by chuff
  "speech"

 

[Pebblestep]

Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die

.

Something rattled in the cage where his heart should have been the moment his mentor's voice was heard. A small, brittle sound inside him... Fear? Guilt? Shame? He couldn't name it, only feel the way it dragged his ears back flat against his skull. Nutmegpurr didn't deserve this. She never had. He stared at the earth between his paws, trying to swallow the lump tightening his throat. For a long moment, he couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes. He felt too much like a tiny kit caught doing something terrible... Fragile, trembling, hollowed out by his own choices.

Finally, he turned, slow and hesitant, sea-green eyes lifting to her like he expected to be scolded. " .. I... I was foolish... " The words scraped out of him, thin and uneven. " I clung to... I clung to the hope... " He couldn't finish the sentence. Hope of what? That the barn would still be standing? That someone he loved would be alive inside it? That going back could undo anything at all? That he would find Alder somewhere in this big world? Or his parents? He hadn't told her. He'd just run off on his own, guided by a desperate instinct that didn't even make sense anymore. In his mind, he had thought he was doing something right. But he hadn't expected to be gone so long. To disappear. To force the clan and his mentor to wonder if he was dead.

And some days, he wasn't even sure they'd been wrong to think it.

If Meadowpaw hadn't found him... If she had stumbled upon his body instead... Wouldn't that have been easier for everyone? Wouldn't they have moved on without this ghost dragging behind them?

Nutmegpurr's voice softened, relief threading through her words, and Pebblestep made a small, strangled sound in response. Relief. For him. For his return. She was glad he was here. If she knew how close he'd come to not being here at all... He swallowed hard. His voice trembled, but the honesty in it was clear and raw. " I missed you. "

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13 MOONS

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[gorsehowl]

☼ . ° ✦

Gorsehowl had pushed her adopted siblings' absence from her mind. They were gone and she had a lot to attend to. Coyotes, new warrior duties, and just all around... busy. Pebblepaw being gone would be dealt with later - felt later. The warrior for now told the camp she was sad about it ( a truth), but never let them see her actually show that sadness. She didn't have time to explain to others her feeling or accept their consoling. For now, she was busy.

It seemed, though, she didn't have to feel that sadness. A familiar scent drifted to her as she entered camp with her latest prey haul (fat rabbit). A scent that lulled her as a kit and strengthened her when grief gripped their tiny family. "Pebblepaw!" she shouted as she forgot the rabbit on the ground to tackle her brother with her bony body to the ground. Gorsehowl rubbed her cheeks on his face to bathe in that smell. Her brother's smell. "You rabbit-brain! Where did you go? Why did you go? I missed you!"

He was bigger in the moons he had been gone, as was she. "I'm Gorsehowl now! I'm a warrior and I fought off two coyotes all on my own! It was awesome!" He needed to hear it all.

✧ ° . ✶ . ° ✧

ooc information

• ooc: —
• 

  NIP GORSEHOWL — SHE/HER ･ 13 MOONS ･ WARRIOR & WINDCLAN ･ PENNED BY MUDDLY!

  silver tabby with high white and yellow-green eyes. a grumpy, independent she-cat that prefers to bite before she speaks. a coyote-given scar runs aross the bridge of her nose. raised by alder. adopted sibling to icepaw and pebblepaw.

 

[Pebblestep]

Well you do enough talk
My little hawk, why do you cry?
Tell me what did you learn from the Tillamook burn?
Or the Fourth of July?
We're all gonna die

.

Pebblestep barely had time to register the scent rushing toward him, barely had time to meet Nutmegpurr's eyes, before the world tipped and his sister slammed into him. Gorsepaw. Icepaw was gone too now. Gone, like Alder. Like their parents, who Icepaw had said were dead. A truth he had refused for so long, clinging to the thought that even if fae was gone, even if everything else had burned away, their parents would one day find them. Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong.

" Gors-- !! " The rest of his breath left him as he hit the ground beneath her weight. For a heartbeat, he was frozen. Stunned by the familiar pressure, the familiar warmth. By the unmistakable scent of home crashing over him all at once. " H–hey...! " he breathed, voice cracking as his sea-green eyes widened. She was everywhere at once, rubbing her face against his, talking and laughing and demanding answers, telling him about everything he'd missed. About her name.

Gorsehowl.

The name landed late, heavy and bright all at once. " Y–you... You're-- You're--! " A shaky laugh burst from him before he could stop it, disbelief flashing across his face. " Stars, you got so big! You have your warrior name now! " For a fleeting moment, pride burned bright in his dulled gaze. He listened. To all of it. The coyotes. The fighting. The strength in her voice. And tucked between the accusations, sharp and tender all at once, the I missed you. Guilt twisted hard in his chest.

" I didn't mean to-- I.. I thought-- " He faltered, words tangling and slipping away each time he tried to grab them. " I thought I had to find them. If I didn't, then-- " He swallowed, hard. " I didn't realize how long I'd be gone. Or... Or how it would feel for you. " His ears burned as he looked at her, warrior-strong and alive. " I'm proud of you... " Pebblepaw said quietly. " Gorsehowl... That's a good name. It fits you. " A hesitant smile tugged at his maw, foreign and uncertain, like something he wasn't sure he was still allowed to wear.

" I missed you too. "

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14 MOONS

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