PAFP Camp get angry at all of my honesty — return to camp

[PEONYPAW]

Peonypaw is crawling back and begging for forgiveness. That's all this is, right?

He feels like his limbs had been stuck in mud; they are a heavy weight that he needs to carry instead of them carrying him. His head hangs low, in both fear and embarrassment, and his eyes are glued to the ground underneath him. How will he be received? Honeyflower and Cometpaw are on either side of him, but he's not sure that it will matter at all. They had convinced him to try again... isn't that cruel? He doesn't even know if Dustystar hates him now or not. She probably does. And yet still, their care had coerced him forward.

He's just not sure if it's worth it, is all.

His chest is all but hollowed out. Only the occasional sniff betrays the hysteria in which he had found himself in just a bit ago—his body is spent, exhausted from the tips of his ears to the end of his tail.

Peonypaw hesitates at the entrance of camp.

Please, he thinks, though he's not sure what exactly he's pleading for.

When he finally enters camp, he is almost surprised to see it the same way he had left it. A few cats are huddled close together, speaking or eating, while others are on their way to attend to their duties. How much more diligent they are than him. His stance still betrays terror and submission, but he now lifts his gaze as he searches for Dustystar.

She's not difficult to find.

Peonypaw drags himself towards her, entirely expectant of her rage. He would certainly deserve it. He looks at her now, with his body pressed close to the ground while she towers above him; his entire future relies on her now. Her forgiveness. Her decision. Her order.

He is at a loss for words, so he says only what he knows to be true.

"I'm sorry."

Takes place a few hours after this thread.
Please wait for @Dustystar !

 

[Dustystar Dustystar]

✪ Align my Heart, my Body, my Mind​

indentAs soon as she sees her apprentice, Dustystar is rushing towards him. She presses her nose against his cheek, checking him over for injuries. "Peonypaw, you're back! Don't run off like that again." Although she scolds him, her voice is breathless with anxiety.

indentThe urge is there, to egg him on with leading questions. "Why would you say something like that? It's not right to tell lies, Peonypaw." Dustystar holds her tongue, for now. While she'd kept the peace in camp, thoughts had crept into her mind. Had Peony caused the fire? He would only have been a pawful of moons old, at the time. Dustystar finds it hard to believe that such a little kitten, lively as he was, could cause such a tragedy.

indentRegardless, guilt and agony are written across the apprentice's face. Something must have happened, Dustystar knows, to have caused such despair. Her mouth does dry.
"Peonypaw... is there something you'd like to talk to me about?"

Dustystar - 27 moons - Windclan Leader

 

[PEONYPAW]

It takes everything from Peonypaw to not recoil from Dustystar's clear display of... concern. Aside from the fact that he scarcely goes for physical contact, it puzzles him to no end. He had expected her to meet him with anger, but even when she scolds him for breaking a rule and running away, there is no real bite to her voice. Not this time. He stands frozen instead, allowing her to soothe him- or soothe herself, whichever she's really going for here.

His gaze drops as she asks him to explain. He had gone into detail with Honeyflower and Cometpaw, but that had not been easy either. There are so many more pairs of eyes on him now. Some of them are no doubt waiting for him to mess up even further, while others may just be looking for something juicy to chew on later into the evening.

Or perhaps Peonypaw is being terribly pessimistic about his Clanmates.

Either way, he doesn't have room to escape this situation. He must come clean now—and it starts with a heavy, shaky exhale.

"It was an accident,"

he starts, voice barely above a whisper. That's just an excuse. Despite his heart picking up once again, Peonypaw rolls his shoulders and stands a little taller—looks Dustystar in the eye, even.

"Petalpaw and I... we are argued. Or I argued with him. He's not to blame for anything."

That last part comes out of him faster than he intends. The last thing he wants is for his brother to suffer the consequences of Peonypaw's own actions.

"I, I... I wasn't looking. I was being stupid. I knocked over those Twoleg-made things, with the little fire inside."

Peonypaw pauses, a shudder passing through him. What a terrible scene it had been- how quickly that "little fire" had spread. It occurs to him now, that the Twolegs are more foolish than he thought; they had built something out of wood and covered its insides with hay, only to put those hazardous lights in the way.

But of course, he had been the stupidest out of them all.

When he looks at Dustystar again, he realizes he really just wants to be forgiven, if it is even possible. He had carried the weight of his mistake for so many moons... had been certain that this is a flaw within himself, but now, as he retells the story with Honeyflower's words ringing in his head, he realizes that he truly had not intended to hurt anybody that night. He had scoffed upon their ideas of community, sure, but... they had been a pleasant enough bunch. None of them had deserved the scorching flames.

"I couldn't do anything to stop the fire then."

Peonypaw says with finality. The air settles around them, and he awaits Dustystar's response—his punishment. Either for having kept this secret for this long, or for having made such a massive mistake- or both at once.

 

[Sparrowburrow Sparrowburrow]

———————————— The sun hesitates more on each evening's darkening ✦

The apprentice had kept to themself, biting their tongue on the snippet of Peony's outburst hours earlier. Dark red pelt curled up near the fresh kill pile, eating quietly with clanmates.

They didn't want to consider too long the insinuations of the other apprentice's admission. It made their stomach turn, knowing how many cats were injured, dead, or even. Owlbear's lungs were never the same, and her kittens' lives risked before they were even born, Meadowpaw's leg taken by the flames, her pelt still licked with scarring that she tried to hide every day, how so few cats left that fire without some wounding - physical or emotional.

Not even Sparrowpaw emerged from the flames untouched, their friend's screams, the burning heat and suffocating sensation they'd wake up to every night after unrelenting nightmares. Sparrowpaw hadn't let anyone hear of their nightmares, the time they wordlessly spent clearing the memorials for the cats lost. The nights of terror where they feel the need to stay awake at the risk of some other unforgiving tragedy to strike the clan and leave them useless and helpless to save anyone.

Sparrowpaw had to bite their tongue and draw their attention closer to the... The sparrow between their paws. A bitter smile crossed their maw at the irony. Not even that was enough to stop the writhing feeling of something in their chest as they heard Peonypaw's voice, claws against monster's pelt. The apprentice had always been passive, docile, content to be unseen and unheard as they took care of the cats they cared about, but with every sorry excuse, their pelt bristled. Sparrowpaw tried to keep themself distracted, plucking feathers from the self-same bird between their paws, tiny brown feathers scattered between their paws.

There was a point at which the apprentice grew exhausted of the excuses, the pitiful attempts to explain away the blame. The tortoiseshell rose to his paws, pelt bristling in a quietly bubbling fury, just beneath the surface. Part of them wanted desperately to tell to Peony's face how his sorries are no use now, but cowardice struck again, just like that night at the barn. Frozen in place, facing the fire, the same fire that burned in their chest, roaring to life, the wound irritated all over again.

Rather, the apprentice stooped to reach for their prey, muttering to themself, but anyone in earshot wouldn't have been naive to know exactly who the ire was aimed at. "Save the pity party, it won't save anyone now." 'It won't bring back our home.' His final words tapering into the back of his throat, a thought that could be left unsaid, as it was something painted in the eyes of every cat in the clan. Windclan was nice, but it would never be their barn, their real home.

Grasping their meal in their jaws, feathers scattered about their paws, Sparrowpaw's shoulders tightened for a moment before shaking their head, letting a thought pass them by. Instead, they padded away, listening any longer to Peonypaw's snivelling excuses would drive them mad.

——— Like grief and sweet memory,

Wildflower and barley. ———

• ooc - ilu peony but sparrow is unfortunately v full of unchecked trauma bout the fire. m also not bold enough to make sparrow yell at peony unless insigated.
• 
  Sparrowpaw
  ✦—Windclan Apprentice | 11 moons
  ✦—They/He
  ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  ✦—A longhaired tortoiseshell with amber eyes and protruding canines.
  #bf4916

 

[GOLDENROAR]

He's sat astride of Dustystar as they awaited Peonypaw's return.

Honeyflower's hard look hadn't been lost on him, but he knows how cats have grieved, suffered. Was it intentional? Was it an accident? Was it a lie? There's no use in assuming, when Peonypaw had said what had happened, clear as day. Dustystar believes that he lied about that, but Goldenroar isn't so convinced. He's offered her little words of comfort, tongue bit and his own eyes hard, thinking deeply upon the situation. When the gorse rustled and Peonypaw entered alongside Honeyflower and Cometpaw, he pushes to his paws, moving after Dustystar slower then her.

The deputy doesn't speak. He lets the others drive answers from Dustystar, vision searching the apprentice. (Looking for wounds, are you? Still worried about the kid's health, even after what he's done?) Goldenroar cleared his throat, shifting his weight from paw to paw as Peonypaw finished the explanation. It was an accident, one made of carelessness. One that originated from anger anyways- but not one that would have wanted this response. That much is obvious, seeing how Peonypaw reacts. The shudder that the apprentice's body carries, the heavy look in his eye.

Goldenroar's anger shifts closer to disappointment. Pain, empathy even, for the situation that Peonypaw has had to endure. That is a heavy, heavy thing that Peonypaw will never be able to be rid of. The lives lost, the lasting injuries and disabilities caused by the flames. The trauma that other's carry- he doesn't hear what Sparrowpaw says exactly, but he knows the other apprentice wasn't saying kind things beneath their breath. "'Right." He uttered, his head turning towards the rest of camp. "Don't crowd, keep to your duties." Goldenroar orders, his head lifting taller as he turns to regard the clan. Dustystar would serve punishment in due time, but there was no reason for the entire clan to keep their eyes upon Peonypaw.

He doesn't speak to Peonypaw, or Dustystar, or even Honeyflower who almost definitely wanted to say something to him earlier. It was easier to avoid them right now.

_______________________ I KEEP RUNNIN' BUT ☼ I'M STANDING STILL _______________________

• "speech"
  

• 

• GOLDENROAR he/him, windclan deputy, fourty one moons.
  ☆ a lh golden red marbled tabby with low white and glimmering aqua eyes. often seen with a smirk, confidence oozing from him in heaps, but always the ever-helpful guy.
  ☆ mentored by who / mentoring dandelionpaw
  ☆ older brother to merry
  ☆ peaceful and healing powerplay permitted / / underline and tag when attacking
  ☆ penned by dallas ↛ dallasofnines on discord, feel free to dm for plots.
  
  ☆ mini by tasmagoric, ref image by dallas (yours truly!)

 

[HoneyflowerHoneyflower's icon]

Slow Down, Just Breathe

Honeyflower keeps her pawsteps carefully in time with Peonypaw's own as they make their way back to camp, her tail gently curled over his back in reassurance. Every once in a while she glanced down to smile encouragingly at the two apprentices. Her suspicion that it had all been a terrible accident had been correct. She only hoped that the rest of the clan would understand.

The Gale Guard can't help but stiffen beside Peonypaw when Dustystar rushes forward, almost protective despite knowing the molly was the last cat she expected to do anything rash. "Just tell her what you told me, it'll be ok." Honeyflower tries to soothe, though she's not sure how effective her words are with how many eyes are on them in the middle of camp like this. She has half a mind to suggest they take this to Dustystar's den but before the words can come out Peonypaw's confessing.

It's not any easier to hear the second time, despite knowing how it ends. She lifts her chin, almost in defiance, to glance at her clanmates as Peonypaw explains. 'Try and chase him away for this. I dare you.'

The challenge goes ultimately unsaid however when Goldenroar interjects in an attempt to disperse the crowd somewhat. She briefly flashes him an appreciative smile, though surely the deputy would know she'd want to talk later.

"I don't want to hear about anyone harassing Peonypaw or Petalpaw," Honeyflower warns. "Any one of us could have been the one who knocked over the fire shell that night. It was an accident."

Hopefully it would discourage at least a few. Now that the truth was out there there were sure to be some cats willing to take their pain and frustration out on Peonypaw, she hoped the blanket warning would spare him the worst of it.

xxx

All We Have Is All We Need

Tags

Honeyflower

✿—Gale Guard Of WindClan
✿—She/Her
✿—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
✿—Dilute Calico Shecat With Green Eyes And A Floppy Ear
#a4e1ba

 

[Dustystar Dustystar]

✪ Align my Heart, my Body, my Mind​

indentDustystar's jaw is tight as she draws away from her apprentice.'It wasn't a lie. Then, how come...' "Peonypaw, how could you hide something like that?" It's a question she already knows the answer to. It's written plainly in the cutting gazes of their clanmates. Still, Dustystar has a hard time understanding his choice. It's far easier for people to begin to forgive a kitten, than it is to forgive a cat already over twelve moons old. One who had been causing trouble and keeping secrets, at that.

indentIn fact, even Dustystar finds her tail lashing behind her. 'Meemaw, Alder, my family... all because of you?' She nearly makes an unhelpful comment about it, before Honeyflowers strong glare giver her pause.

indentHer Gale Guard is right. Anyone could have started the fire all those moons ago. It didn't make any difference now.

indent"Peonypaw." Dustystar starts again, speaking around the lump in her throat. "You understand that there's going to be consequences for keeping this secret, right?" Nothing so harsh as exile, but she had to do something. If the rest of the clan feel as if Peonypaw had gone unpunished, they may take justice into their own paws. She's doing him a favor, giving a light sentence. "Your training is on hold until we figure out what those consequences are. Please, don't run away again." Although her voice is strong, she pleads with her apprentice not to leave. 'You keep running away, to places I can't follow. Please, just stay by my side.'

Dustystar - 27 moons - Windclan Leader