TW: Sensitive Content PAFP Camp SkyClan one morning, this sadness will fossilize ...

[stormcrow]

tw! discussions of kit death, dog death, and injury. reader discretion is advised.

Stormcrow returns from a hunting trip carrying two mice. One she leaves on the fresh kill pile, the other she brings with her as she heads towards the kit she'd caught it for, who's lying curled up near the nursery… a small thing, Des was. Stormcrow puts the mouse down in front of her, pushing it closer with a paw.

"Caught you some food," Stormcrow says, matter of fact, too blunt.

She flicks her tail, sighing softly. She thinks of Snowveil, her mother, how she spoke to kits… and speaking again, attempts to find that voice in her own red painted chest. What could she say, what could she possibly say to comfort one who had lost so much?

"How are you faring, young one? Is your tail feeling better?" She pauses for a moment, hesitating before finally continuing on– "I'm sorry we couldn't do anything for your brother. But the dog that did this to you both is dead now… died a coward's death, like it should. I hope you can find some peace in that."

I NEED MY GOLDEN CROWN OF SORROW

MY BLOODY SWORD TO SWING

• ooc: please wait for @D e s
• 

  Stromcrow, - 42 moons / Skyclan warrior/scout
  Daughter of Snowveil, temporary mentor of Teaselpaw
  Strict, devoted, rational. Peaceful powerplay allowed.

  
  

 

[Stonepaw]

Consumed by the darkness they bore
She will never wake up anymore

.

tw - grief, dissociation, and mentions of a dog attack.

Des barely even managed a twitch when the pawsteps approached her. She didn't even blink. Her small body was curled tight, limbs tucked in close, eyes half-lidded and staring into space—watching nothing, really. The mouse placed in front drew some of her attention. Her nose twitched slightly at the scent, but she didn't reach for it.

There was food now—always food—a nest—and warmth. Voices that spoke gently or at least tried to between the awkward juggling, none of them quite sure how to handle her or what to make of her grief. Things she hadn't had before—things she should've wanted. Maybe part of her still did. Not that she wasn't grateful to have those things, but mostly she just felt… tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep could fix. A kind that lived deep in the bones and kept her up at night.

Stormcrow she remembered, the she-cat's words filled the silence, and Des tilted her head to watch her mouth move. Her ear twitched at the mention of her tail. It didn't hurt much anymore. It had healed fine, even if she'd chewed through the first few bitter wraps that spindly apprentice had applied.

Des wasn't sure how to answer the questions. Her eyes finally lifted to look at the warrior at the mention of her brother—wide and stark blue. "It died? I didn't think anyone could kill that thing..." Des supposed that should've given her some comfort… But right now she felt so… empty. "I guess that's good. At least it won't kill anymore kits." The beast's death didn't change anything. It wouldn't bring her brother back from the dead or stop her from waking in the middle of the night, thinking she still heard him screaming.

"Who killed it? Do you know?" That dog haunted her dreams and even her waking hours. Sometimes, Des swore she could still smell it in her nose or hear it in the wind.

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[stormcrow]

♱ She watches the young cat's face change and react to the information she's given with quiet consideration. Des was much like Stormcrow in some ways. And not at all in others. But there seems to be in them the same distaste for mincing words and half truths, so Stormcrow decides to speak plainly, to not sugarcoat things.

"Neither did I," Stormcrow replies, sitting down now, although leaving ample space between them so as to not intrude on the younger cat's boundaries. "And no. No it will not." Des poses a question, and Stormcrow looks up and away for a moment, ears flicking as she searches for a familiar face who isn't there. "Flowercloud managed it. Led it to a thunderpath where it was hit by a monster. She's the cat you might've seen around the medicine cat's den with Swallowpaw; she was injured when she did it, but there is no need to pity her or feel indebted. Injury– even death– is part of being a warrior."

She turns back to Des fully now, studying her. She is weary, that much is certain. Shaky too. Not that Stormcrow can blame her. Sometimes when she tries to sleep, she can feel the snow and hail beating down on her, the storm that almost took her mother's life shaking her out of her stupor.

"If you are having trouble sleeping, you should tell Swallowpaw," she continues. "She will give you something to make it come easier. Usually dreamless, too. Not sleeping enough is detrimental for full grown cats, and for young cats even more so. A good night's sleep would do you good, I think."

♡ STORMCROW. 42 moons
temporary mentor of teaselpaw,
daughter of snowveil
peaceful powerplay allowed
ooc -

 

[Stonepaw]

Consumed by the darkness they bore
She will never wake up anymore

.

When the warrior speaks, Des is silent. For the first time in a while, the words reach her with clarity. They are not hushed or sweet or at the expense of the person saying them. Des doesn't think her feelings are worth all the fuss. Not when she doesn't feel much of anything anymore.

Sometimes, she's thankful for that—the hurt is gone—but there are other times, when she remembers her brother, and that hollow ache settles deep in her chest. It feels like she could cry then, but the tears won't come.

"Oh." Lucky that a monster found the dog. She wonders what would have happened if it hadn't. Would they still have been able to kill it then? Her eyes bore into the dirt before lifting to look at Stormcrow. "Are warriors just not afraid of dying, then? Flowercloud led the dog away even though it could've killed her too."

If they aren't, then Des wants to know why. Because after her mother died, and it was just her and Rowan, she was always afraid. Afraid of the dark, of the things that chased them, of other cats, of waking up and finding herself alone. Now that Rowan is gone... she thinks maybe she shouldn't be afraid of dying. But a small part of her still is.

When Stormcrow mentions sleep, her eyes fixate on the ground again. She doesn't like to sleep anymore. The idea of swallowing more bitter herbs doesn't thrill her, but a dreamless sleep sounds nice. Since coming to SkyClan, she wakes constantly, heart hammering in her chest, screams echoing in her ears.

"Can Swallowpaw really give me something to make my dreams go away?" She asks, peeking up at the molly. The things these SkyClan cats say about StarClan and the dead make her wonder if he's haunting her too. "I think my brother is upset with me." Des adds in a quieter voice. "For not saving him." There's no sadness in her tone. She isn't looking for comfort by asking, but rather to understand. "He's there when I dream. The dog is too." Des frowns softly. "They're so loud sometimes that I can't stand it."

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[Sagesong's iconSagesong]

⋆˚✿˖° "I'll Be Fine On My Own" She Said

⋆˚✿˖°

The mottled warrior was unsure how to approach Skyclan's newest kit. What she had gone through was so much for one so young- watching family die so violently before one's very eyes scarred even the battle hardened cat. For a kit to bear witness to it was... Sagesong was unsure how to help. Or if Des would even accept it. Still... They suspected the kit would need some reassurance.

Sagesong pushes into the nursery on soft steps, catching the tail end of Des's statement. Oh. A brief frown crossed her face before training it to something more positive. "I think..." They begin, nodding at Stormcrow in greeting before sitting beside the warrior. "That your brother is just glad that you're alive. The dreams of that day will fade with time, they always do."

They know it to be true, had had similar dreams of the den collapsing shortly after joining Skyclan themself- but did not elaborate beyond sounding confident in their words. "It might be hard, but you are not alone. Skyclan takes care of each other, you simply have to ask and someone will be willing to help. If you want to talk, someone will listen. If you need company someone will sit with you. They helped me when I joined Skyclan, and we will do the same for you."

Putting words in her clanmates mouths a bit, perhaps, but she was certain they would.

✿──

───I Don't Need You Inside My Head─✿

• 
  Sagesong
  ✿— Skyclan Warrior
  ✿— They/She
  ✿—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  ✿— Small, Curly-furred, Mottled Black And Brown She Cat With Heterochromia.
  #5fb49c

 

[stormcrow]

♱ Stormcrow acknowledges Sagesong with the return of their nod, before her eyes drift back to the young cat. Sagesong speaks, and while she speaks sense, Stormcrow's ears flick, unsure if it will help. It's not untrue, but… it's more platitudes, things Des has probably had enough of for a lifetime. Realism will help more. Something to ground her in this new world she's entered.

"I suppose some warrior's are afraid of dying," Stormcrow replies, "but not in the same way as those outside the clans. We have an afterlife, you see– a place where the spirit goes once the body has died. And more than that, performing one's duty is nothing to be afraid of. Dying to protect others… that is an honourable way to go indeed."

She hesitates here, unsure of how to mediate her words. She doesn't actually know if such a plant exists, but… if Des believes it, and Swallowpaw goes along with it, then… perhaps it'll work?

"Swallowpaw has an herb for most anything," she says at length. Then, with a voice far softer than her words, she says, "and how would you have saved him? That dog was as rabid and violent as a fox, and neither you nor your brother are trained in fighting. If your brother is upset with anyone, it is me– me, and all of us warriors who arrived too late to save him. Or perhaps he is angry with the world, for taking him from you too soon. I did not know him. But if you miss him this much, he must've been a good brother indeed." A beat. "Do not think so little of him, Des, that he would visit you only to haunt you. In dreams, you are both strong and alive… you have the power, there. The next time you have that dream, you kill that dog, and it won't bother you again."

♡ STORMCROW. 42 moons
temporary mentor of teaselpaw,
daughter of snowveil
peaceful powerplay allowed
ooc -

 

[Fujimoto]

┍

Fujimoto stood in the same place asSagesong when regarding Des, feeling pity for the girl as she struggled to bounce back. The tom couldn't blame her, he could scarcely see himself very different from that state she lay in now had the same happened to him. Stormcrow had been a good consistent face around the girl, however, and he hoped that at least provided her some comfort.

"That is some... powerful advice, S-Stormcrow." Fujimoto swished his tail over his paws as he sat beside Sagesong. "Um, well, you have a lot of friends here already, Des!" The Sun Guard looked away to glance towards the other dens. "You've s-seen it for yourself now to-to know Sagesong speaks the truth. SkyClan... only lives bec-cause we care for one another, and protect each other. You're... you're SkyClan, too."

‎┙

 

[[SNOWVEIL]]

SNOWVEIL, 88 moons / SkyClan + Perm Queen
A lean silver black lynx point with milky blue eyes and many scars
Delights in listening to all that goes around, can be a bit gruff, will put you on your place
Tagging person here

---

Soft pawsteps whispered across the earth as Snowveil approached the entrance of the nursery,, her ears attuned to every shift in the air. The space was warm, heavy with the scent of moss, herbs, and fur, some familiar, some not. She paused just before the entrance, letting her senses guide her. Voices floated through the open space. Her daughter. Fujimoto. Sagesong. And the young one... Quiet, small, scarred by grief. But breathing. Alive. That was enough for now.

Snowveil tilted her head, ears swiveling as she silently counted heartbeats, feeling the shape of the place she stood at through sound alone. Her whiskers brushed softly against the edge of a pelt as she moved forward with care. Each step was deliberate, practiced, she needed no eyes to find her way. " Nonsense. " she finally said, her voice low but clear, a rumble. She halted when the scent and warmth of the others told her she was close enough, lowering herself to sit, her fur brushing faintly against the earth. Her tail curled neatly around her paws, then gave a single lash behind her.

" All warriors fear death. " she murmured. " To say otherwise is to say you do not cherish life. " Her ears twitched, catching the hush that followed. " But warriors act anyway. Even in fear. Especially in fear. That is where strength lies. That is what makes us who we are. " The scent of her daughter drifted nearby, warm and steady, and Snowveil turned her head slightly toward it. A faint smile tugged at the edge of her muzzle.

" You have done well, child. " she added, her voice softening, carrying the quiet weight of truth..

DON'T LET MY CALM FOOL YOU

there's fire underneath this snow

 

[Stonepaw]

Consumed by the darkness they bore
She will never wake up anymore

.

tw - grief, dissociation, and mentions of a dog attack.

Sapped blue eyes flick toward the other cats that join them. She blinks slowly, absorbing what's said with a numbed mind. Des hopes that what they say is true—and eventually her dreams will cease. While she would've done anything to see her brother again, she does not wish to see him like that—bloody, agonized, begging her to save him.

"You're... you're SkyClan, too."

"I... am?" Before the dog killed him, Rowan was all she had. When their mother died, they stuck together. No moment was spent without him.

Now she looks around at the cats that have gathered. Since coming to SkyClan they've given her a place to sleep, brought her food, and come to see her. Des isn't sure if she's truly SkyClan like Fujimoto says, but she is glad not to be alone.

Her ears turn toward Snowveil's calm voice. A sound that fizzles in her ears, crackled with age. Des looks at the milky-eyed queen. What she and Stormcrow say makes an uncomfortable sensation to writhe in her chest. She is… frustrated. Frustrated that she couldn't change her brother's fate, and at her weakness. She wants to be more like the warriors who saved her. To be able to act even when what she's faced with terrifies her.

When faced with that beast, she was frozen. No matter how much she wanted to help her brother, fear nailed her in place. "Then I want to be like that too. I want to be strong like everyone who saved me." Des says with a firm flick of her tail.

Stormcrow's next words strike deeper than Des expects. How would you have saved him? That question is not something that she's given much thought to. Until now, she's only thought that she should've, not about how she would have done it. Des looks down at her paws.

She isn't strong like the warriors. She could hardly outrun that dog, never mind fight it. By the time she was rescued, her legs were so weak that she had to be carried to SkyClan. Could be that it would have killed her as well, and she would have died a useless death. Or maybe she would've succeeded, and her brother would be sitting where she is, talking to them, thinking she was haunting him. "He was." She mutters softly.

Rowan was brave and selfless. Whenever things were difficult and she felt like quitting, he convinced her not to. He made her laugh when she. He gave up what little food he had when the scavenging was poor. "You're right, he wouldn't do that. I don't know why I ever thought he would..."

In her dreams, the dog always has its way. Rowan always dies. She is always rooted in place, forced to watch. She's never tried to fight back in those dreams. Never felt that she could. The kit is quiet for a few beats longer, blue unblinking eyes fixated on the ground. "...Okay." She says at last, lifting her head. "The next time it comes into my dreams, I'll kill it." Truthfully, Des doesn't know if she can. But if Stormcrow says its possible, then she will try.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

5 MOONS

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