Territory WindClan Searching in the dark // open

[Pebblespaw]

{$title} pebblepaw snuck out of camp in the dead of night and is trying to find mama alder

PEBBLEPAW

You taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly, even after death

The camp was wrapped in a heavy, quiet darkness, every shadow thick and still beneath the cold gaze of the moon. Pebblepaw moved like a ghost, paws barely making a sound on the soft earth as he slipped past sleeping cats, careful not to wake anyone. But his heart pounded so hard it felt like it might burst, chasing the hope that somewhere, somehow, Mama Alder was still out there, waiting. " Mama? " His voice was small, cracked with fear, but he forced it out into the night. " Mama, you can't be gone. You just… you must be lost. You're lost, right? But you'll find us again. " He kept moving, his legs carrying him farther away from the safety of camp, into the shadowed woods.

He didn't want to believe the truth, the burning barn, the smoke, the silence where faer warm purrs should have been. It didn't make sense. It couldn't. Mama Alder would never just leave him and Ice and Nip. They were still out there. They had to be. " Mama, please come back. " Pebblepaw whispered, his voice breaking, desperate and raw. " I'll help you find your way home. We'll be together again. I swear. " His words felt hollow even as he said them, but still he clung to them like a lifeline in the dark. His tail twitched, a tear slipping from the corner of his eye and falling silently onto the cold ground. The night swallowed his cries, but Pebblepaw refused to stop. He wouldn't stop until he found faer. Because Mama Alder wasn't gone. She couldn't be.

═════════════⊹⊱ ⟡ ⊰⊹═════════════

 

[Meadowpaw]

I know that I've been sleeping
And I know that I've been dreaming

.

Meadowpaw tossed restlessly in her nest, straw scratching against her ribs, the bedding never quite right—too cold on one side, too hot on the other. Sleep hadn't come easily since the fire. Nights like these were becoming more common, where her body ached and her thoughts refused to quiet.

Usually, when she couldn't sleep, she'd try to find her way back to the dark forest—to Deadwood. Slipping into that mindset had become second nature, even if it left her worn down and left her feeling more exhausted than if she'd stayed awake by dawn. But she didn't care. As long as he was there, Meadowpaw would keep going back. Being near someone who understood what she was going through, made her feel a little less alone. And she liked to think maybe he looked forward to seeing her too.

When she heard pawsteps shift quietly from a nearby nest, she was already awake. Eyes half-lidded, her ears twitching with recognition. A flash of silver fur slipped through the night.

Pebblepaw?

She blinked, then slowly began to untangle herself from her bedding. Meadow crept carefully, not wanting to wake the others. Her steps were uneven, jostled with every hobble forward, but she pushed through the stiffness in her limbs. Pebblepaw was faster than her. She struggled to keep up, and his scent kept slipping away from her dulled senses. The darkness was disorienting, tugging her in too many directions to nce. She wasn't afraid of it, not after spending so much time in the dark forest. The darkness there was a whole other sort, but Pebblepaw... Where could he be off to so late? He must have a reason.

A flutter of worry swirled in her chest. What if he got lost? What if something happened to him? Her breath quickened as she glanced back toward camp. She didn't want to get Pebblepaw in trouble, but if she couldn't find him... Should she wake someone? Another apprentice? Sparrowpaw, maybe? Or—

Charred ears twitched, head swiveling toward a small sound. She followed, drawing closer to its source, and then she saw him. Standing alone, swathed in shadow, stood Pebblepaw. Relief loosened the tight knot in her chest. "Pebblepaw?" She called hoarsely, hopping a few steps closer. Her voice was soft, careful not to startle him. She brushed her tail against his flank, craning around him to search his face with worried eyes. "I was worried about you. Are you okay?" Even in the dark, she could make out the tears glistening in his eyes.

Pebblepaw seemed his cheerful self lately. Maybe too cheerful after what they went through. She knew that Alder was a mother to him, so it'd been strange that he hadn't seemed sad. But Owlbear said that everyone dealt with tragedy differently... so maybe... "Do you... miss Alder?" Meadow asked gently.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

9 MOONS

⟢

WINDCLAN

⟢

SONG

⟢

bio

 

[Pebblespaw]

PEBBLEPAW

You taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly, even after death

There was a sharp jolt in Pebblepaw's chest as Meadowpaw's voice pierced the quiet night like a claw raking over stone. He spun around so fast his paws nearly tangled, fur bristling in alarm. For a heartbeat, his expression cracked, wide-eyed, raw, flickering with irritation and something like fear. But it vanished almost instantly, smoothed over with that too-bright smile he wore like a second skin. " Meadowpaw! O-oh, jeez! " he exclaimed with a shaky little laugh that didn't quite reach his eyes. " You really startled me, haha. What are you doing out this late, huh? Couldn't sleep either? " His voice was light, a little too light, like he was trying to float above the weight of everything pressing down.

His tail flicked anxiously, and for a heartbeat, his gaze flitted past her, scanning the trees behind like he expected Mama Alder to step out from the shadows. " It's... it's not safe to be wandering, you know? " he added with forced ease, brushing up against her in a gentle bump. " I should help you back to camp! Wouldn't want you getting in trouble! " He didn't mention what he was doing. He couldn't. She'd say the same thing they all said. That Mama Alder was… was gone. But she wasn't. She was just out there. Somewhere. Waiting to be found.

" Wind's sure chilly tonight, huh? " he went on quickly, voice tightening at the corners as he turned his face just slightly from hers. " Keeps stinging my eyes… stupid breeze… " He rubbed at them with a paw, trying to blink away the tears that kept threatening to fall, stubborn and hot. Don't cry. Don't ruin it. Keep smiling. Because if he stopped smiling, he might have to say it out loud. And if he said it, it might become real. And Mama Alder couldn't be gone.

She just couldn't.

═════════════⊹⊱ ⟡ ⊰⊹═════════════

 

[Meadowpaw]

I know that I've been sleeping
And I know that I've been dreaming

.

He didn't answer her question. That alone told her plenty. Her suspicion of what was going on with him deepened, but she didn't push for answers. Instead, she sighed softly, eyes flicking across his face. "It's not safe, is it? Doesn't that go for you too?" She mewed soberly. "Besides, I don't care about getting into trouble." Her tail swept the ground in a slow arc, stirring through the leaf litter as she sank back onto her haunches.

He wouldn't shake her off that easily. Pebblepaw was acting like himself—and he wasn't. She'd known him for a long time. He was always a cheerful, happy kit. But things were different now. He lost someone he cared about. If the fire and the cats they lost had left her in pieces, then she didn't have to imagine what it did to him.

Meadow tried to pretend too. That she was brave. That there weren't times when she wanted nothing more than to give up. Pebblepaw was better at hiding than she was. Good enough to fool her, but he couldn't keep her convinced with tears rolling down his cheeks.

"Pebble…" Her voice trembled as she watched him turn away, tears gathering in her lashes. She shifted forward, inching closer, delicately pressing her cheek against his shoulder.

"It's okay to be sad when you miss someone." She coaxed gently. "I miss faer too… and Chicken… and Hoot…I miss our home." Meadow missed even some of the cats that were still with them. None of them escaped the fire unscathed. Some even lost themselves. She missed Merry and Dusty… She missed Sassy—Mare—Meggie—Peafowl—Mama… Meadow sniffled softly, peeking up at him from the corner of her eye. "You don't have to say anything you don't want to, but you shouldn't be out here alone… so um... I'll just wait here until you're ready. She stayed still, hoping that he wouldn't try to run off again to do who knows what. Meadow promised that she would look after Owlbear for Hoot, and she intended to do the same for Alder. Someone had to, in faer's stead.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

9 MOONS

⟢

WINDCLAN

⟢

SONG

⟢

bio

 

[Pebblespaw]

PEBBLEPAW

You taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly, even after death

Pebblepaw let out a slivered laugh, brittle at the edges, his tail flicking sharply from side to side, a cat caught red-pawed and not the least bit sorry for it. Of course he wasn't supposed to be out of camp, especially not at night and especially not alone. But what were the rules good for now? What had they done but hold him back? No one was doing anything. They were all too busy crying and whispering and speaking in soft, broken voices. As if that could bring mama Alder back. As if pitying him would fix anything. " Of course you don't care about getting into trouble! " he chirped, too bright, too sharp, his eyes darting to Meadowpaw and skimming across her frame, those burns, the ones that marked her as a survivor. She'd lived. She was proof that living was possible. That escaping was possible. That maybe-

Maybe...

" You're a fierce one. " he continued, voice unnervingly cheerful. " Ready to dash into the dark like a little beam of light, huh? " His paw brushed at his face. " Stupid wind! Stings the eyes... " But then Meadowpaw said it... That it was okay to miss someone... And the air changed. His smile didn't falter, not on the surface, but it twisted, ever so slightly. It became a little too wide. A little too toothy. There was a flash in his eyes like glass about to crack, like something was twisting up inside his chest and screaming to be let out.

It wasn't okay to miss mama Alder. Not while faer was still out there, waiting to be found. They all kept saying she was gone. Saying things. Things he didn't want to remember. Things that couldn't be true. He didn't want their grief. He didn't want their looks. He wanted faer back. " Oh, oh no, don't worry! " he trilled suddenly, too high-pitched to be natural. He bumped into her lightly, forcing play into the gesture, trying to bury the pressure rising in his throat. " I kicked the energy right out of my paws! Whoosh! Gone! " Another fake laugh. " We can go back to camp if you want! No big deal! I was just out stretching my legs. Silly me! "

Tomorrow. He'd search again tomorrow. And next time, he wouldn't get caught.

" I'm ready~! " he chimed with that too-bright grin still clinging to his face like it was all he had left.

═════════════⊹⊱ ⟡ ⊰⊹═════════════

 

[Meadowpaw]

I know that I've been sleeping
And I know that I've been dreaming

.

The longer he evaded any mentions of Alder, the more she worried. Soon enough, she wasn't even sure he was really speaking to her.

The Pebblepaw standing before her wasn't quite the one she used to know. He was an imitation of the happy kit who used to trail after her, who used to make her laugh, and followed her around to make sure she was safe. He was a ghost wearing her friend's smile.

Her chest ached with the realization that she might have to add his name to the list too—of cats she missed.

Worst of all… Pebblepaw was hurting. Her friend was suffering and there was nothing she could do to help. Once again that helpless feeling closed in around her, clogging her lungs with its smoke. She was not fierce or brave. She was scared for him.

Pebblepaw needed time to sort things out for himself. She couldn't force him to come to terms with what happened, no one could. Meadow knew he might not come out of it whole. She knew because she was there along with him, scrambling to find pieces of herself she lost along the way. In the meantime, maybe Gladebloom would know what to do. Surely there was something—a herb, a remedy, anything to ease his pain.

The calico swallowed the lump rising in her throat, corralling the worry in her chest. When Pebblepaw nudged her, she swayed with it and gave him a small smile. A soft pitiful smile but she sniffled and quickly nodded. "Sure, Pebblepaw. If you say so."

"Let's go home." Meadowpaw slowly rose to her paws and began to hobble ahead, looking back to make sure he followed.


Speech, thoughts/emphasis

9 MOONS

⟢

WINDCLAN

⟢

SONG

⟢

bio

 

[Pebblespaw]

PEBBLEPAW

You taught me the courage of stars before you left. How light carries on endlessly, even after death

Pebblepaw's paws felt like they buzzed against the earth, the tension in his limbs vibrating just beneath his fur. He kept that smile plastered on, wide and toothy, as Meadowpaw sniffled beside him, so full of worry, of doubt. He didn't want her to look at him like that. Like he was broken. He wasn't broken. He couldn't be. Not yet. Not if Mama Alder was still out there somewhere. Waiting. Needing help. Needing him. His eyes darted to Meadowpaw's limp as she hobbled forward. A flare of guilt sparked in his chest, because she was brave, even when she said she wasn't. She'd gone through so much and was still standing, still looking at him with soft eyes and that pitying smile that made something ugly curl in his stomach.

But she cared... He knew she cared...

Pebblepaw let out a quick, shaky laugh, bumping into her side again like nothing was wrong, like the world hadn't fallen apart days ago and left his heart behind in the ashes. " Yeah, yeah, let's go home! " he chirped, voice far too chipper, far too forced. " Yeah! Good idea. Bet they're all worried sick about us sneaking off, if anyone is awake for it, pfft... I mean, you're the hurt one here! I was just...just your escort! " He puffed his chest out a little, the grin on his face beginning to tremble at the corners. He followed her closely, eyes flicking to the darkened forest edges with every step, like expecting Alder's silhouette to appear between the trees at any moment. His voice dipped suddenly, almost a whisper. Soft. Hopeful.

" ...Fae's probably mad at me, huh? For not finding faer sooner. "

The words slipped out before he could stop them, hanging in the air like frost. He blinked once, then gave another huff of breath, shaking his head violently as if to chase the thought away. Another smile. Another mask. That's all he had left now. " But I'll find her soon. You'll see. I'll be better about it next time. " He trotted ahead a few paces, then turned to walk backward, facing her with that strained, glittering smile still clinging to his face. " C'mon, slowpoke! We don't wanna get scolded too bad, do we? " But his eyes... they searched the trees behind her. Behind both of them. Still looking. Always looking. Just in case.

═════════════⊹⊱ ⟡ ⊰⊹═════════════