TW: Sensitive Content PAFP When's the last time you tasted blood? || Return from fight

[Talonpaw]

{$title} After a gruesome fight, Talonpaw returns after being gone all night injured and... Is he scared? Openly?

Talonpaw did not know much about cold. He did not remember when he was young, how bitter and relentless the cold really was. He was too young, too young…. He should've been allowed to be a child- but he never had been. Since the day his paws began to walk, they'd been walking tirelessly.

Since the day he could run, they'd been running not in strength- as he had once thought, but in fear.

Since the day he could draw his claws, they were used to learn. Since the day his teeth grew- they were meant to rip into flesh. He was inexperienced even now, but his entire life he had realized he had been cold.

The winds against the moorlands were harsh tonight as the moon settled high above. Stars shimmered as if blood did not drip a path behind the boy as he moved, staining dying green grass with his blood. For the first time in his life, he'd admit his paws were heavy- tired. They pulled at moss to settle between his teeth to try to collect the blood that poured, but it wasn't enough. His teeth bare against the wind he was unused to, but the pain his body felt did not match the pain he felt inside. He'd remember Dimmingsun had mentioned he was hurting- but he didn't realize what the tom meant fully until now. Until his heart thudded against its cage, until his blue eye expressed the tiredness he usually fought against.

For the first time in his life, Talonpaw really felt defeated.

The moon began dropping, and the sun began to peek over the horizon. His blood had slowly began to ebb and his pain had subsided to a numbness, but anxiety began to curl instead. He had lost the prey he was supposed to be hunting. He had lost the fight he should've been able to win. He had lost, not just the fight physically, but mentally as well- caved in to the stigma of violence he didn't want to crave anymore.

And more than anything- he was scared. It washed off of him in waves as he entered camp to waking bodies. He ignored the gazes, he couldn't hear the murmurs. But when his gaze settled on Merrystalk- perhaps he could see the fear in his eyes despite his attempt at the blank stare.

He'd been out all night… with nothing to show. "I got attacked," he explained, enunciating through the pain in his mouth, letting the bloodied moss fall from his jaws. His blue gaze was steady on the other, unwavering. "I lost the squirrel I had caught that ran across our border. I caught it on our side, an' I felt eyes, so I watched the shadows. Their body shot out," he shook his head.

"The specifics don't matter. 'm sorry." He murmured, his tail dragging in the dirt as he dipped his head. He was causing more trouble than he was worth. His shoulder, his face, his paws- they were stained with blood, and now- even Dustystar stood before him. He said nothing but the truth, except that he had lost. And to admit that was painful to say the least.

Somewhere in all of that, he had lost himself- and shame filled him. Anger towards himself. "I need… Dimmin' or Meadowpaw…" he admitted sheepishly, shifting on his paws as his gaze finally dropped from the other two, letting his eye slowly
closed in defeat. If he didn't get help, Meadowpaw would have his head, likely.

Return from this thread //
Please wait for @Dustystar and @Merrystalk

​

Talon he/him, windclan 8 moons old.
black tabby with dark greyish brown undercoat and white underbelly. white crest on chest, and scars lining left side of face, blinding his right eye. icey blue eyes and white that is slowly starting to streak his features. Back scars non-existent for now.
mentored by Merrystalk // mentoring none
littermate to none
NPC x NPC / father/mother to none / mated to none
"speech" // "thoughts"
penned by Deidre ↛ deidre on discord, feel free to dm for plots. Art by PurpleCandyCorn.

 

[Merrystalk Merrystalk]

There was a lump that formed in the back of Merrystalk's throat that morning. He had woken up early as he always did, and he had thought to find Talonpaw and take him to hunt his fill for the day to get a good start, that way they could figure out if the young tom were up for some fighting training to let out some steam or if he needed a slower pace day to join Meadowpaw on a herb patrol. Some days, he worried if he was going too easy on the apprentice, but respect isn't earned with claws and anger after all. But, instead, there was a whirr of panic as the tortoiseshell couln't find the young tom anywhere. Not in his nest nor in the medicine den, his scent was faint in camp...

Something turned in his stomach; had he run like Maremane or Pebblepaw? Or had he gotten himself in some sort of trouble like Gorsehowl had? Merrystalk was about to start asking around, as it felt like something clawed its way around his throat, lurching claws under his pelt, irritating every hair on his body. It was a dizzying feeling, prickling his spine in some rotten sensation he couldn't decipher as anything but pain. There was no ache in his body, but he knew the feeling, like a sorrow with no tears, a fear with no need to run. So intangible and yet it wound its way through his very being. It was only as he looked up that it clicked.

His apprentice stood there, bloodied and maimed. There was a faint sway in his walk and something behind his eyes, something he had never seen so blatantly in the tom; fear. If Merrystalk had found agony in the moments before, he could have collapsed under his own paws as his heart felt like it gave way with his own terror, his own guilt. His body moved on its own as he found himself at the side of his apprentice, the acrid scent of blood on his pelt, soaking through utterly vicious wounds.

Talonpaw explained what had happened, but most of it felt like a blur in his ears. Even with the awful feeling welling in the back of his throat, he found himself able to speak. "Starclan 'm just glad yer okay, Talonpaw." He reassured the young tom, he had no idea what kind of trouble he might get in if he could decipher what he had done, but there was a sinking feeling that this would be more than a learning opportunity for both of them. Merry motioned to the medicine den, face knit in worry. "We can talk about what happened after, we gotta get'cha patched up first." The fear sensation wouldn't unwind from around his chest; it was a suffocating thing, and he couldn't make sense of why it hadn't lessened despite at least knowing Talonpaw was alive.

His instinct was to let the young tom lean into his side, give him the physical reassurance as he led him to the medicine den, but he hovered at the side of the apprentice instead. Merry feared for Meadowpaw's reaction; she had gotten rather fond of the apprentice, and he worried for her state seeing him so injured. She had only just barely levelled out again since the flood. Starclan knows this would just break her heart more.

But, as he motioned for Talonpaw to begin towards the medicine den, his gaze was affixed on Dustystar. He clenched his jaw, hoping she wouldn't inflame the situation as it was. "Let's just get him treated first." It wasn't a demand, but arising on a plea. He had been the one to train Talonpaw all this time; he knew his apprentice as bold and defiant. He had never seen the tom so quiet, and frankly, it worried him more than words could speak. There was a time for figuring out what happened, if anything needed to be done, but that moment was not now as his apprentice bled like mutilated prey and already so... Defeated.

​

MERRYSTALK He/Him, Windclan Gale Guard, 33 moons.
A lithe, tortoiseshell cat with green eyes and pelt speckled with rye grass.
mentored by none // mentoring Talonpaw
sibling to Goldenroar and Sunnyspring
NPC x NPC / parent to no one / mated to Harefoot
"SPEECH" // "THOUGHTS" // ATTEMPTED ACTION
penned by Pheo ↛ phoenixwashere on discord, feel free to dm for plots.

 

[Dustystar Dustystar]

✪ Align my Heart, my Body, my Mind​

indentDustystar rushes to the entrance of camp as soon as she smells cat-blood in the air. She finds Talonpaw, soaked in blood and with a face so badly cut up that teeth are showing behind torn lips. His expression is stoic, but Dustystar knows stoicism well enough to spot the fatigue behind his eyes.

indentImmediately, her mind is alight with questions. Who had done this? What clan were they from? How often was Talonpaw leaving camp without Merrystalk? Was prey really so scarce that someone would do all this over a squirrel?

indentShe's about to interrogate Talonpaw, or scold him, but a pointed look from Merrystalk gives her pause. "I'll fetch Dimmingsun." She mews, clipped. "We'll talk more about what happened tomorrow." It's a statement, not a question. If other clans are crossing the border to take out their frustration on her apprentices, she needs to know. As soon as possible, if can help it. Once he's rested, and had his wounds patched, they'll talk.

indentWith a flick of her tail, Windclan's leader turns and leaves, towards where she knows the healers will be waiting.

Dustystar - 27 moons - Windclan Leader

 

[DIMMINGSUN]

When Dustystar encroaches upon the den's entrance and blocks out the sun that has only scarcely began to rise, she doesn't need to wake Dimmingsun. He's awake already; always eager to start the day as soon as possible. That part of him had only gotten heightened due to his position. Out in the wild, alone, he could always choose to sleep in whenever he seemed fit—here, where cats relied on him for better or for worse, he could not afford such luxury. He doesn't mind.

The seriousness in his leader's gaze tells him everything he needs to know.

Dimmingsun doesn't bring out the herbs; there is little to carry anyway, and it would look comical in his big maw. He lowers his head to avoid brushing it along the roof of the tunnel, and momentarily squints against the change in lighting.

He doesn't necessarily expect to be face to face with anyone in particular, but when his eye lands on Talonpaw, he cannot find it in himself to be shocked.

It's nothing against Talonpaw, truly. Dimmingsun has grown to like the young tom. Instead, it's more something akin to the apprentice's nature. That startling night where he had almost deserted WindClan due to his own emotional turmoil is but a consequence on how he operates. Inevitable.

There's something else in the apprentice's eye that had not been present before. Resignation, perhaps?

That tabby fur is all but soaked in blood. Wherever Dimmingsun's gaze goes to, he finds injury. For a moment, he looks at Merrystalk—only Merrystalk, for he had already seen Dustystar's reaction— and doesn't find anything comforting there. When Dimmingsun looks at Talonpaw again, properly making eye contact this time, there is nothing in his tone to suggest a scolding. He supposes Dustystar will give that to him in due time.

"Come,"

is all Dimmingsun says, beckoning Talonpaw with his tail. In the medicine cat's den, he can find peace—free from consequence.

 

[Talonpaw]

Talonpaw did not expect to be comforted. Or what he could consider something as such. The tabby toms gaze that stayed on his paws was uneasy, away from the prying eyes, the green gaze of the leader- away from the eyes of his mentor. Away, away...

Beats passed. One... Two... He always counted. And then Merrystalk finally spoke, drawing to his side. He watched paws stop beside him, and for the first time-when it wasn't a sparring practice, when it wasnt necessary... The apprentice gently let himself lean against his mentor. 'm so scared... He couldn't bring himself to say it. He already was allowing himself to look weak. He already was pushing his luck in windclan.

The large boy could not calm the scratching at his ribcage of the beast that wanted to howl- to lash out at the touch. At the stares, at the feeling he was trying desperately to hold closed. But never before had he felt so... Fragile. He'd never felt like a tree about to fall down, or the leaves that barely clung to the branches before drifting down. Never did he feel so desperate.

"Tomorrow... Then." He said to Dustystar, unable to even look her direction. He'd always watch as he spoke to them, but now? He knew he'd done wrong- he'd lost prey to fill the mouths of others, and was wasting herbs they needed. Time after time again. Hopefully, they didn't bother. He'd be fine- but knowing his luck...

This sensation curled in his stomach unrestrained, thrashing around and causing bile to burn in his throat. But nothing would come, nothing could. Dustystar said tomorrow, and that meant they'd discuss tomorrow. But first... He had to face Dimmin' and...

Speaking of, the medicine cats large form looked at him. He felt.... Vulnerable. He only said 'come', and Talonpaw felt as if he may explode from that alone. But he was tired, exhausted, and the tom simply dragged his paws as he leaned against his mentors form. "Merrystalk..?" He murmured. "Can y' stay with me for a few?"

As they arrived to the medicine den, he stopped before reaching the medicine cat. His head bowed, his eye unseen from the other with the tilt of his head- and Talonpaws torn and tattered ears flicked backwards onto his head. " 'm sorry, dimmin' I'll help look for herbs. I promise." And then he pulled inside the den.

​

Talon he/him, windclan 10 moons old.
black tabby with dark greyish brown undercoat and white underbelly. white crest on chest, and scars lining left side of face, blinding his right eye. icey blue eyes and white that is slowly starting to streak his features. Back scars non-existent for now.
mentored by Merrystalk // mentoring none
littermate to none
NPC x NPC / father/mother to none / mated to none
"speech" // "thoughts"
penned by Deidre ↛ deidre on discord, feel free to dm for plots. Art by PurpleCandyCorn.