TW: Sensitive Content TW: Death PAFP Border You could not take this away from me || crying but your tears are snowflakes

[cinderpaw. cinderpaw.]

Cherrydawn was right. Tomorrow, Cinderpaw was going to be a warrior. He had to place his loyalties- he couldn't split it, and he couldn't sacrifice food away from his clan. He couldn't be named for his loyalty- mistakes could not be rewarded. He could be named... For his prowess. Cinderstalk? Cinder.....pelt? Ciiinddeerrr-

Tomorrow meant everything to the alabaster tom. Eyes as pink as a spring flower, form large- Grand even. He may not be as big as his aunt, or his father- but he was finally fitting in those big paws of his. He'd finally figured out how to put one foot in front of the other. He'd finally prove to Hawkstar exactly who he is. And maybe... Hawkstars blue eye would look to his pink with pride as she perched upon the rock.

-

Cinderpaw was just a boy. A 'foolish boy', who's love was never earned- who's help was never really actually thanked. The words slipped from his mouth, but it didn't matter. As soon as he spoke about being unable to deliver food to Barbie anymore- it became about Tick and Fish, or something along the lines. Words became muddled as blood spilled across the white ground. Fresh snow had been ruined, and his pelt would have perfectly blended in if it wasn't for the raspy breath and blood dripping from his lips, his chest and neck, his sides- more blood than he ever could've seen before. Should there be this much blood...?

His chest shook as he breathed- his world dizzy, his mind numb. He wasnt really seeing what was in front of him, but when a familiar cat he couldn't make out except for scent alone approached- he struggled out words to the other. "I-its...okay. it's okay, Swallow-" coughing interrupted his words, viciously racking through his whole body that never felt so small. He had never felt so cold, not since he was young, embraced by his father.

Him and his sister hung from his father's jaws, cold. Oh... So cold....

"Swallowbreeze..." He croaked out. "Can... Fix me. She's.... Amazing- and.. spiders fuel her. Get... Her a spider to help-" he wheezed, breaths heavy. His pink gaze was unfocused as he stared ahead, continuing his mumbling about spiders, Swallowbreeze, and how he needed to fix the whole in the nursery for Snowveil or she'd be mad at him.

Please wait for @Cherrydawn and @SWALLOWBREEZE

cinderpaw - 12 moons - skyclan apprentice - mentored by cherry

 

[Cherrydawn Cherrydawn]

Run through the field, the shadows gone,
Lift up your head and greet the dawn.
Though battles rage, our hearts endure,
Together strong, we'll find the cure.

.

Cinderpaw had been such a good apprentice. Despite his disappearances. Despite the moments where fear had gnawed at her ribs and she'd pretended not to notice the way he slipped away. He had done so well. She had stood before Hawkstar and vouched for him without hesitation, told her leader that she had overseen his assessments, that he was ready. Ready to stand tall as a warrior of SkyClan. Ready to take his place among them. She had been so proud.

So why... Why were her eyes now locked onto the bloodied form of her apprentice? Why wasn't he walking toward her, whole and breathing and alive, telling her he'd finally stay, finally focus on SkyClan? Why wasn't he standing in camp, surrounded by cheers and ceremony and a brand-new name echoing through the clearing? Why wasn't he safe? Why hadn't she ensured that safety. Why had she let him go. Why hadn't she followed. Why hadn't she been faster. Why, why, why...

" C... Cinder-- Cinderpaw... " The name broke as it left her throat. She surged forward, paws skidding in the dirt as she pressed her forehead gently to his, trembling all over. " Hold on. Hold on...! Swallowbreeze is coming. She's-- " Her breath hitched violently. Spiders... Spider webs... Something to stop the bleeding-- Anything-- No, no, don't think, don't think-- " Shh, shh... " she whispered frantically, forcing her voice softer even as her heart thundered. " Save your strength. Don't talk. Don't... Don't worry about the nursery hole, okay? We... We can fix it. Together. We'll fix it together. " Her mismatched eyes brimmed, tears spilling freely now as her chest rose and fell in ragged gasps. Please. Please don't let him die.

She had tried. Stars, she had tried so hard. Her head snapped up suddenly, desperation ripping the sound from her chest. " SWALLOWBREEZE! " she screeched, voice raw and breaking as she whirled toward the path behind her. " HE'S OVER HERE! PLEASE! " Her tail curled protectively around Cinderpaw as if she could shield him with nothing but will and love, her forehead pressed back against his. " Please... " she whispered again, barely audible. " Not him. Not another one. "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

23 MOONS

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[SWALLOWBREEZE]

you can't save everyone, that's the bitter herb any medic must choke down. there have been close calls where her clanmates—chrysalisgaze, sagesong—breathe raggedly in a pool of their own blood. her skills saved both of their lives, but she couldn't do it without starclan's miracle. rosebelly died just like his namesake, body torn open like a piece of prey, dead before he arrived to camp. swallowbreeze thinks going quickly is better than slowly losing your senses, watching clanmates weep like you died moons ago through your sickly, half–lidded eyes.

she was told something happened to cinderpaw, out by the border, that was it. swallowbreeze quickly gathered any usable herbs before rushing out of her den.

cherrydawn has been struggling with him for awhile, always sneakily leaving camp, dodging questions and not being fully honest. swallowbreeze keeps her head in the flowers, so she didn't realize how bad it got, and either way, the boy had an excuse, there wasn't anything to worry about.

paws drum against the cold terrain, swallowbreeze straining every underused muscle in her body to keep up with cherrydawn. the tortoiseshell arrives first, her anguished cries for the medicine cat to hurry up could've woken starclan. when swallowbreeze stops inches away from where the blood ended, she is stunned at how horrific cinderpaw's injuries where. she has a full cycle of medicine training under her paw, with most of her skills in the wound, lacerations category, so she figured this wouldn't be difficult if she utilized her herbs properly. any medicine cat though, no matter how skillful they are, will be able to tell it is too late.

the marks that decorate his body are too deep, there are too many too treat before he goes into shock, and—any medicine cat's worst nightmare—she simply doesn't have enough herbs to spare. if anyone peeked inside her leaf bundle, they'd realize she showed up with a smaller than average amount, a grim reminder of the season they're currently in. cinderpaw wears red to his funeral.

mournful eyes meet cherrydawn's frantic gaze, speaking a wordless apology. "cinderpaw..." her tongue feels heavy, it brings her to the ground. "sweetie, who did this to you?"

 

[cinderpaw. cinderpaw.]

He blinked, slowly a few times. It was so hard to breath, wounds gaping across his pelt, but he didn't hurt. Not as much as it hurt to know Barbie would do this to him. But he believed that Swallowbreeze could help him. He believed that everything would work out, because Starclan cared for Skyclan. He was a hard worker, or well... He tried his best.

He finally could realize it was Cherrydawn speaking to him. Her breath was broken like his- tears dripped down her cheek, and she stumbled- he watched the tear fall, the way it hit the snow on the ground, the way it froze almost instantly. She spoke of the way they could fix it together, and cinderpaw smiled his toothy grin, even if blood dripped from the side of his mouth, even if his gaze was unfocused, he choked out a - "y...you promise?" As if it was going to be the only thing holding him together.

And then the screams for Swallowbreeze, the echoes thrummed against his head, the world swirling as paws joined near. He couldn't notice until he heard her voice. It wasn't clear, the world muddled with echoes, and his heart thrummed like a wild animal in his chest. He processed, slowly. "I... Told... Her no, more, cherry- I.. tried, break up... And she... Screamed. Hawkstars... Going to be so.. disappointed, isn't she? Like... My dad was..." He slowly said, breathing raspy in between gasps for words. His dad .. disappointed in him. How could he not be? "I'm... Getting my.. supposed to... Get my name .. swallow... Cherry... Tomorrow... You... You can fix this, right?" The albinos pink eyes waved, rolled to direct his attention to the medicine cat. But was he even looking at her? Or through her? "I... Believe.. in.. your spiders... Gifted by starclan... To accompany you, Swallowbreeze... I believe in you..."

cinderpaw - 11 moons - skyclan apprentice - mentored by cherry

 

[Cherrydawn Cherrydawn]

Run through the field, the shadows gone,
Lift up your head and greet the dawn.
Though battles rage, our hearts endure,
Together strong, we'll find the cure.

.

Tears blurred Cherrydawn's vision as she watched Swallowbreeze work, her ears pressed flat to her skull, confusion and dread twisting together in her chest. Why was she asking Cinderpaw questions like that? Why wasn't she doing something... Fixing him, helping him, making him better so they could bring him home? Swallowbreeze could do that. She was a good medicine cat. A great one. But even she could not perform miracles. The thought whispered cruelly in the back of Cherrydawn's mind, and when Swallowbreeze met her gaze with apology written clear across it, something inside Cherrydawn shattered. She looked back down at her apprentice, her heart breaking anew.

Poor Cinderpaw. So close to becoming a warrior. So close to standing before the Clan with his head held high. She had spoken of him so proudly to Hawkstar, vouched for his readiness, even shared the name she thought would suit him best. And now... He spoke. Too much. Forced the words past bloodied lips and shallow breaths. Panic clenched around her ribs as she realized what it meant. Swallowbreeze couldn't save him. A sob caught in her throat, but she swallowed it down and leaned closer, forcing a gentle smile through trembling lips. " Yes... Yes, I'll help you... " she whispered, voice shaking. " I promise. "

She brushed her cheek softly against his, breathing him in as if she could anchor him to the world by will alone. He would never receive his name, not in the way warriors were meant to. But she refused to let him go without knowing it. " Do you want to know a secret? " she murmured, trying desperately to stay composed. " I talked to Hawkstar about your training, about how hard you worked, how much you cared. We talked about your warrior name, Cinderpaw. Your name. " Her nose touched gently to his ear, her voice barely more than a breath.

" Cinderlight... " she whispered. [color=]" Because you always tried to be that light for others. Even surrounded by darkness, you chose to be gentle. You chose kindness. You tried to be something good... Something to follow. "[/color] Her voice broke, grief slicing through the words she couldn't stop.

" You will always be Cinderlight to me... " she whispered fiercely, forehead resting against his. " Always. And I am so... So proud of you. "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

21 MOONS

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SKYCLANNER

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[SWALLOWBREEZE]

how do you tell someone it's too late? you make them comfortable and hope they don't bring the rage into starclan. death is a worldwide fear, but the knowledge that there is an after makes it easier to accept that it is inevitable— that's what swallowbreeze thinks, anyways. she's lucky cherrydawn accepts her apprentice's fate, maybe if herbs were plentiful, she would've tried. instead she dabs his red body carefully with a piece of moss, to get a headstart.

"you're— you're doing great, cinderpaw." her voice is thick and so, so heavy. she wants to speak to him more, tell him he did a great job for his clan, as cherrydawn's apprentice— to apologize. swallowbreeze fears she's moments away from breaking down in front of them both. it's too much, too uncomfortable to work like this.

she strains her ears, unable to pick up cherrydawn's whisper, but she's aware the warrior is comforting the boy the best she can. if she could hear, she would've thought cinderlight to be a beautiful name. perfect for a to-be warrior that kept a room bright, stayed positive despite the difficult cycle skyclan endured.

swallowbreeze rolls a tiny seed over, her last one, near his nose. "take this for me, it'll... it will... help you get better." you make them comfortable, it's what you do.