TW: Sensitive Content Camp All the secrets that keep me in chains, and || Talon and Yew...?

[Yewkit]

General TW for anxieties, trauma responses and insecurities

YEWKIT

All the damage that might make me dangerous

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Yewkit wasn't sure if she would describe what she was feeling as happy, but it was certainly a warm feeling inside her chest as she walked outside the nursery, ready to meet Talon and share food together. It had become something like a ritual to her, (to them?), a habit to follow every day, one thing she could look forward to.

She wasn't allowed to intrude in the medicine den all the time, not with the healers needing the space for themselves and their patients, so they opted to meeting out in the camp before parting ways again. Yewkit liked it that way, it meant mother could keep an eye on her, just in case, if she wanted to, while also letting her spend time with her friend. Friend. The girl liked the sound of that. Despite all her anxieties and worries, she was finally beginning to feel lighter, more at ease.

Perhaps mother was wrong. Perhaps the cats of the clan cared for her just because of who she was - their clanmate. No strings attached, no requirements. Just... being with them. Was that really all that impossible?

"Hey Talon," she greeted the tom, without paying too much attention to his posture. He was still in a pretty bad shape, but he was healing, slowly. Perhaps soon, they would get to walk around camp together more, once his injuries healed. "Ready to go pick some food out?"

OOC: @Talonpaw ​

 

[Talonpaw Talonpaw]

He was pacing. Back.. and forth. He didn't remember the medicine den being so small. His tail swung behind him as he moved, walked, paced. His fur was disheveled, his single blue eye looked as if he hadn't slept. (Had he? Did he? Was he awake or asleep?)

His heart thrummed against his chest- his paws shifted. He hadn't really used them in a few days. And then he heard Yewkit. His blue gaze flicked over, his fur standing on end. She was really making him do this? Really? Of course, of course. She wanted it to be his fault. He couldn't help but hear her words again, roll over in his mind.

It was clear something was wrong with him. He didn't notice, but even Meadowpaw and Dimmingsun hardly left him alone. He didn't want to be alone... But he wanted it so bad. His head poked out of the den first, blue eye locked onto Yewkit. He didn't look like he did yesterday when they met. His tongue rolled over his teeth, sticking to the dry surface, lagging as his lips shifted and made the rolling all more visible.

Visible, could they see his discomfort? Could they see through him? They could. They could.

"Yew..kit." his voice drew. Hoarse, a low rumble. "Why are y' here?" He asked, obsidian talons slowly leaving their sheathes, gripping into the ground. He felt the eyes, and blue eye flicked to gold, before back at the kit. She was so small... She looked so... Different. And now... Now he had to break his promise.

"Go."

But she stood there, eyes widened, and something drew from her lips he couldn't quite comprehend. Hearing was fine, but he didn't want to hear it. Something about... Something, something. "you're not my friend. you're a child." His chest hurts, it felt tight, his jaws clenched and his ears flattened against his helm as blue eye narrowed- fighting the urge to cry as the words burned like daggers in his throat. He didn't want to cry. Crying was weak. He already cried. Why again? This is to protect you, I'm sorry. This is to protect me. This is to protect. I'm doing the right thing, right? "do not speak t' me, y' cant." His claws dig in the ground before turning. His stomach coiled in the sickness that threatened to erupt, and his eye burned from the tears that wanted to spill. Instead, he moved to turn around. This was too much.

It was for her safety ... He reminded himself sourly, looking back to send a glare towards plagues form watching him carefully before snapping his head back. And another voice made him freeze. His blood was already boiling. His skin was on fire. His claws wouldn't retract.

This is what he had to do!

​

Talon he/him, windclan 8 moons old.
black tabby with dark greyish brown undercoat and white underbelly. white crest on chest, and scars lining left side of face, blinding his right eye. icey blue eyes and white that is slowly starting to streak his features. Back scars non-existent for now.
mentored by Merrystalk // mentoring none
littermate to none
NPC x NPC / father/mother to none / mated to none
"speech" // "thoughts"
penned by Deidre ↛ deidre on discord, feel free to dm for plots. Art by PurpleCandyCorn.

 

[Yewkit]

YEWKIT

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There was something different about Talon today, but she couldn't describe what it was. He looked nervous, as if someone were to hurt him again - but he was safe here, in the clan's camp. He was surrounded by cats that would protect him, he was surrounded by friends.

And then he spoke and Yewkit felt like a little kit again, scolded for making a mess or scolded for trying to help. She felt like she got everything wrong once again.

She stared at the tom she thought was her friend, tears threatening to pour down her cheeks. All she wanted was to feel his warmth, yet what she was met with was coldness.

She should have known better. Wasn't this always how things went? Her, giving herself false hope, caring too much about cats who had no intention of caring about her back. And Talon. You're not my friend.

Yewkit's heart thumped in her ears, heavy and fast, her paws threatening to collapse under her. "But I... I thought..." there was no point. Nothing good ever came out of her saying things, pleading. Everyone left eventually. She should have known better than to get attached to one who would never care for her back.

Mother was right. Yewkit understood it now - she had been trying to protect her from the very beginning and Yewkit foolishly went against her, getting herself into this mess.

She blinked once, twice, and Talon had turned away.

All that was left was the memories, of Talon keeping her warm and safe, carrying her in his jaws and on his back, shielding her from the world. Him and Meadowpaw, finding her in that field, telling her she was okay, that everything was okay. Talon telling her he missed her. He promised! Was all of that a lie? Or just duty to his clan, simple as that, nothing more and nothing less?

How could she have been so foolish as to believe he truly cared for her? Mother had told her no one would care for her without wanting something in return, and Yewkit had nothing to give. And so Talon had left. And Yewkit couldn't even blame him for it.