Private face of puzzle pieces // cherrydawn

[Fujimoto]

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Paws still tremble after coming down from the high of anxiety in addressing their Clan. It was an authority that still felt entirely fabricated (perhaps, because it was), and fraudulent to even attempt to claim. Fuji had hardly believed in his own capabilities, let alone freely welcome the idea someone else could too. Flowercloud had been a dutiful mentor to him in his introduction to the Clan, of course, and now he felt he shared the spotlight with her even more so. A true example of how she influenced her Clan.

"I haven't been able to eat a thing all day." He confessed in a shaky tone, keeping his eyes focused on his paws while he tried to make them still. "Scared I won't be able to keep it down. I mean, not too long ago I was giving queens mice in favor of my kittypet food."

Hawkstar's judgement of the lifestyle was no secret, even if they had no words verbatim from her to confirm. Her watchful eye could say plenty enough, lingering and sizing up any passing housecat. "I feel like... if I fail, I'm failing the other daylight warriors too. Even Flowercloud. This must be some sort of test." Set up for him to fail, it felt.

//@Cherrydawn

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[Cherrydawn]

CHERRYDAWN OF SKYCLAN

Cherrydawn nestled comfortably beside Fujimoto, her tongue rasping over her fur in slow, thoughtful strokes. Every so often, her gaze flicked toward him, noting the weight that had settled upon his shoulders since he had been named a Sun Guard. It was a great honor, but she couldn't help but wonder... Was this truly what he had wanted?

The tone of his voice made her pause, hind leg lowering as she turned to study him more closely. She knew this was a lot to carry. She also knew he was a daylight warrior. Had he planned, all along, to find another two-leg here? To return to that life? Part of her had hoped he would stay with them, fully, completely. But she understood if that wasn't the case. " You need to eat something, Fuji. " she meowed gently, her ears flicking back for a moment before tilting her head. " It's not fair to rest the fate of all daylighters on the shoulders of one. Your actions shouldn't define an entire group. "

Her brow furrowed as she searched for the right words. " I think you should do what your heart calls for you to do. " A quiet nod punctuated her statement. Perhaps this was a test. Perhaps it wasn't. She didn't know. What she did know was that she had made her choice the moment she had left her two-leg, left Cottoncandy behind. She had chosen to be a warrior. To live as a clan cat. And it was hard. Harder than she had ever imagined. Some days, uncertainty gnawed at her, whispering that she would never truly belong. But she gave all of herself to this life, to this clan.

And she could only hope that it was enough.

" You''e a valuable part of our clan, Fuji... " she murmured, her voice steady, sincere.

THROUGH DIRT AND SHADOW I GROW ——･ﾟ✦​

･ﾟ✦ —— I'm reaching light through the struggle

@Fujimoto

 

[Fujimoto]

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It's hard to dismiss kindness even when he felt it to be undeserved. The guilt he carried was heavier than any stone he ever turned over, believing he should be far more grateful than letting his anxieties overtake this success for him. But the force of this whirlwinding imposter syndrome was relentless, so much that he felt appalled even thinking of approaching Flowercloud with it. She would know just what to say, she always could when he choked up like this. How much longer could he rely on her to keep him together, though?

"It can be unfair but we know it's the truth." Fuji leaned further back against the molly with a sigh. His heart, what did his heart want other than to turn at the face of change every time? What a cowardly heart of his to have. He almost didn't even join his Clan on their journey, deciding the morning of to commit to the dangers. "My heart wishes Coffeestar were here." The Sun Guard blurted out thoughtlessly. "Then there would be no need for Sun Guard's at all, we already had them!" She would see him for what he was, a soft-bellied kittypet, and not expect anything more than the hunting and conversation he provided.

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[Cherrydawn]

CHERRYDAWN OF SKYCLAN

Cherrydawn studied him with quiet, thoughtful eyes, letting his words sink in. Could Hawkstar truly do such a thing? Was she prejudiced? It didn't seem possible... Hawkstar had been nothing but kind to her. She had given Cherrydawn a warrior name, acknowledged her with the name Cherrypaw during her ceremony. She had never made her feel lesser, never treated her like an outsider. But then again…

Cherrydawn had abandoned her daylighter life completely. She could still go to a Twoleg nest if she wanted, she supposed, but… why? There was nothing left for her there. No Twoleg to return to, no sister waiting. What reason did she have to seek it out again?

But Fujimoto…

He was right about one thing. They had Sun Guards before, so why now, after all this time, were they reinstated? Was it a show of control? A way to place her own chosen warriors into the ranks? Was it about maintaining dominance? Her mind spun with questions, and she found herself gazing up at the sky, as if it held the answers. But all she found was the steady stretch of blue, indifferent to her turmoil. With a quiet breath, she shook her head. Too many questions. Too few answers.

After a long silence, she finally exhaled, her voice softer now. " I wish Coffeestar was here too. " she admitted, the words coming with a deep ache. She looked back at Fujimoto, frowning. " She would have liked to see this place. I hope. " A beat of quiet, before she took a breath and squared her shoulders. " But, Fuji… you need to do what makes you happy. If being a Sun Guard doesn't feel right to you… couldn't you talk to Hawkstar about it? "

There was no judgment in her voice, only genuine concern. Whatever he chose, she just wanted him to find peace in it.

THROUGH DIRT AND SHADOW I GROW ——･ﾟ✦​

･ﾟ✦ —— I'm reaching light through the struggle