Private Camp I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY // yewpaw // I JUST WANT SOMEBODY NEAR ME

[poppykit's icon poppykit poppykit]

POPPYKIT | WINDCLAN
"TELL ME I'M AN ANGEL, TAKE THIS TO MY GRAVE"

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Poppykit has known for some time that Yewkit would leave the nursery before him.

That's just how it works here. When a cat turns six moons old, they become an apprentice. Poppykit didn't really think about what he would do with her gone, who he would sleep next to, who he would talk to. Sure, he likes yapping to anybody around camp that'll listen. But who will he really talk to?
The day has come. The meeting has passed. Yewkit - no, Yewpaw now - is going away. She's going to have her own nest in the apprentice's den, she's going to have her own experiences and make her own friends and she's going to do it all without Poppykit.

What if she forgets about me…? It's a possibility that only dawns on Poppykit as he watches Yewpaw receive her new name. Perhaps with the end of kithood comes the shedding of past relations - the same way that Momma had shed her need for him. But Momma and Yew ain't the same… she… she wouldn't do that. Right? The thought is terrifying, consuming him in a wave of anxiety that crashes over his little body. By the time the meeting has ended and the Clan has dispersed, he is stumbling over his own paws to get to her before she leaves, before Pebblestep whisks her away from camp. He has to get to her before she is gone forever.

"Yew!!" He bounds up to his sister with tears in his eyes that threaten to spill, his lip trembling in a display of helplessness. "Yew, don't go!! Please…" The kitten sniffles as he shoves his face into Yewpaw's pelt, his restless paws trembling and his tail lashing with unease. "I don't want ya t'leave me…"

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// @Yewpaw

"TELL ME I'M A BAD MAN, KICK ME LIKE A STRAY"

POPPYKIT
WINDCLAN KITTEN
5 MOONS
HE/THEY
"SPEECH" | THOUGHTS | ACTION | LUCIDITY

 

[YewpawYewpaw's icon]

YEWPAW

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Yewpaw's heart beats loud in her ears, blocking out every sound around her. This is not how it was meant to go - while Pebblestep isn't a bad choice, considering he at least knows her, she... she can't leave the nursery. She can't leave mother, she can't do this all by herself. She is small and she is scared and she is Yewkit. Not Yewpaw. I'm not ready! she wants to yell, but her own voice has never risen above the soft song of a whisper, not unless someone was in danger.

None of it matters, not as soon as Yewpaw hears her own name being called by Poppykit. Her head turns towards the sound and her eyes land on cheeks wet with tears. Who hurt you? she wants to glare at everyone around them, yet soon she learns it was her that had caused him such distress. Her own ceremony, her own departure. It has always been her.

"I'm here, Poppykit." she whispers softly to her brother, paw protectively wrapped around his small frame. Though, with a startle, Yewpaw realises he's almost as big as her now. Soon, he might stand taller than her, looking down on her instead of up into her eyes. It sends a strange feeling of sorrow up her spine, the changes happening too fast. She wishes time would stop for a while, Poppykit in her embrace, no mentors, no apprentices, no WindClan to worry about. Only her and Poppy, holding each other.

But time doesn't stop just because one insignificant girl wishes for it to, the world doesn't stop moving around her, and Yewpaw finds her own ears pressing back against her skull as all the sounds reach her. Gently, she raises Poppy to his paws and leads him away from the gathered cats, somewhere more private. Somewhere where her small voice won't get drowned by everyone around them.

"I'm never leaving you, Poppy." she reassures him finally, when silence envelops the pair. "I.. I don't want to leave the nursery either, but..." Yewpaw wills herself to stop her voice from breaking. "It's not up to me. I.. I'm sorry." In the apprentice's den, Ivorystorm won't be able to protect her. In the apprentice's den, she won't be able to protect Poppykit. At least those two will have each other, but... Yewpaw can't imagine spending time away from them. The few nights during the floods have been enough, her own punishment evidence of the wrongness of it all.

How will she survive it all, alone in the apprentice's den? No soft pelt pressing against her, no paw holding her safe? "If.. if you wanted," Yewpaw tries, despite knowing no one would allow them. "you could visit me in the apprentice's den. We could be together."

Yewpaw bites her cheek, knowing very well that Ivorystorm won't allow it and will only reprimand Yewpaw for suggesting such foolish things. But how else can she show Poppy she cares, when everything she does is either wrong in Ivorystorm's eyes or in the eyes of the clan? The girl wishes there was a way for her to not fail, for her to do the right thing. But she knows there never will be.