Backwritten Territory RiverClan Look alive 'cause you better alive than dead // Pineheart

[Torrentpaw]

{$title} takes place July 12th, the day after the gathering

- TORRENTPAW -

Not some average bones, I believe in love!

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Torrentpaw had hardly slept. His body ached with tiredness, but his mind remained buzzing, replaying the scene of Pikestar's bloodied body and Adderfang's vicious gaze as his claws were clogged with crimson proof of what he had done.

The pawsteps sounding from outside the apprentice den had told him dawn was approaching, relief flooding his body as he rose quickly to his paws. Torrentpaw carefully stepped over the other apprentices, not wanting to wake anyone who had managed to fall asleep. They would need it after what had transpired the night before.

Pineheart was right where he expected him to be, waiting near the camp entrance for him as he was every morning. Torrentpaw padded towards his mentor, his steps unusually heavy, the air of Riverclan's camp holding a similar feeling. He dipped his head towards the tom in greeting, leaving out his usual chatter and bombarding questions regarding what they would do that day. Following Pineheart out of camp, what he hoped would be a distraction from his thoughts fell short. Torrentpaw found his eyes darting around once again in thought, only grasping bits and pieces of whatever Pineheart could be telling him. How could he act like everything was normal? How could Adderfang do such a thing? Adderfang, the same cat who said no one would get left behind as they were leaving the Shipyard.

Torrentpaw slowed, coming to a halt as his head turned away swiftly. The act of his murder made him feel sick with anger, especially because he couldn't wrap his head around what led Adderfang to do so. Torrentpaw had seen death, but only from natural causes. Accidents, tragedies. Adderfang's betrayal was the first example of death by someone else's hand.

"Why did he do it?" Torrentpaw muttered, gazing towards Pineheart. His voice was thick with anger, but his eyes were full of confusion and desperation for answers. Not only did Adderfang's actions distress him, but Skyclan and Thunderclan also had blood on their paws and teeth at the gathering. He hadn't witnessed Juniperstar's death, as he was too concerned with his own leader's limp body that had risen from the dead, which was a mystery in its own. However, Torrentpaw heard their yowls all the same.

"Is this what we left the Shipyard for?" He meowed, voice rising with emotion as he took a pawstep forward. Were there more cats in his clan who thought like Adderfang? Who relied on acts of violence to get their point across? "For cats to kill each other in cold blood, In acts of revenge?" Torrentpaw searched his mentor's gaze, his eyes holding many questions. "And how… How did Pikestar come back to life? What really is Starclan?"

‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ You can't change me ⟡ You can't hide me‎‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎

• ⟡ OOC -
  
  
•  
• Torrentpaw
  ‎ ‎ He/Him | Riverclan Apprentice
  
  ⟡
  "speech" - text - thoughts
  
  ⟡
  Mentored by Pineheart
  
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  A rosetted charcoal Bengal.
  
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  Has a sturdy build with a large head and paws, and short thick fur.
  
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  Holds a zealous and determined demeanor.
  
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  Usually seen with Squid

 

[pineheart]

Pineheart had not expected Torrentpaw to be the same as he was before. Seeing death for the first time, death by someone's claws or teeth, it leaves you changed. He did not expect Torrentpaw to be the same. And the kit who approaches him the morning after isn't, he is quiet, thoughtful, subdued. He has no questions for Pineheart about their plans, and Pineheart, for his part, has no plans either. What he wanted was to take Torrentpaw away from everything, the thick air in the camp that wrapped around you like tangled vines. So he walks next to his apprentice aimlessly, in no particular direction, for no particular reason.

Finally, Torrentpaw speaks. He is not the same as he was. His anger and confusion flash in his eyes, and Pineheart understands. He understands Torrentpaw as well as he understands Adderfang.

"Grief is a horrible thing, Torrent," Pineheart says, once the younger tom has finished. "It's ugly, its teeth are sharp, and when it rears its head it tears not just yourself apart but the ones around you too."

He sits down, looking down at Torrentpaw patiently. "And the grief of losing a child… It is worse than any other grief. A life you helped bring into the world, torn from between your paws… You're never the same. It festers, and if you aren't careful, it'll make you into the same horrible creature, a shadow of yourself. Adder let it fester. He turned all his anger and grief outwards and wore it like armour to protect himself from the thing he couldn't bear to face; death is unreasonable. It makes no fucking sense. It takes because it can. And because he couldn't bear this, he found someone to blame it on– I blamed myself, all those years ago. He blamed Shadowclan and Pikestar. But he couldn't take Shadowclan by himself, and he couldn't convince anyone to take them on with him, and Pikestar denied him, and as a result he became the victim of Adder's grief. It was not revenge, Torrent," he says steadily. "It was just grief."

He sighs, then, and looks away for a moment. "Starclan is a mystery to me still, but one I believe in. My mate believed in such things– though they were nameless, they comforted her, and after her death, they comforted me. If you need more answers than that, I'm afraid you'll have to go bother Jinglemoon."

see the life i've had

could make a good man bad

• ooc: -
• PINEHEART : 51 moons
  mentor to torrentpaw
  tags