RTA Territory NO LONGER YOU ⋅˚₊‧ ଳ⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ WAVESONG

[RUSHINGTIDE RUSHINGTIDE]

{$title} mentions of grief

x

It's been far too long since Adderfang had been exiled, never to see his mate or children again. It felt far too cruel for a mistake, when he'd only been trying to save his own family — the inaction of Pikestar had been glaringly obvious, even in his youth Rushingtide could not feign naiveté. Had Pikestar done. . . something, perhaps Shellkit wouldn't have had to suffer, perhaps his father would still be present. They wouldn't have grieved and mourned a newborn's too-early death, had Pikestar stopped ShadowClan from leaving with herbs.

Right?

Rushingtide stares at his reflection in the river, a mimicry of his father's. It was almost cruel, to look at himself and see someone else; did everyone else see Adderfang when they saw him, too? Especially after his scar left his tooth permanently out of his mouth. His chocolate ticked tabby pelt ruffles in the evening breeze, tail curling around his body. Quiet pawsteps make him glance over his shoulders, expression softening at the sight of his mother's black-and-white fur. "Ma," The warrior greets gently, unlike the frigidness he'd likely offer any other clanmate.

OOC @Wavesong

RUSHINGTIDE

WARRIOR OF RIVERCLAN
he / him, cismale
16 moons old, ages on the 14th.
adder x wavesong, littermate to crescentmoon
older brother of salmonkit, otterkit, foamkit, piranhakit, troutkit and shellkit
SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION

penned by nocthymia

 

[Wavesong]

The ocean is in my soul,
And it's pulling me back to shore.
I'm letting go of the weight that's dragging me down.

.

Wavesong hesitated for only a heartbeat when she spotted her son sitting alone by the river, the evening light catching in his fur in a way that made her breath hitch. For a flicker of a moment, she saw Adderfang, broad shoulders, dark stripes, the stubborn tilt of his jaw. But then Rushingtide shifted, and she saw him again. Her son. Her boy. The one she had raised, laughed with, cried over, the one who had survived despite everything that had been ripped from their family. And when he turned and spoke her name with such softness she knew was reserved for her... Wavesong's heart squeezed.

" Aye... It's me, m'sea-tide... " she murmured, easing closer until she could settle beside him, her tail brushing his flank in a silent request for closeness. " Ye looked... Distant. Thought I'd come check on ye. " For a moment she only looked at him. The scar pulling at his lip, the weight in his shoulders, the reflection in the water that wasn't just his own. He wore his father's coat, his father's eyes.. And right now, they were filled with something far heavier than the river's gentle shimmer.

Wavesong exhaled a slow, trembling breath. " Rushingtide... Love... Ye don't have t'hide away from me... " she said softly, leaning her head to touch his shoulder. " I know what day it is. I know what yer thinkin'... " Her voice quivered, but she steadied it. " It's been moons. Too many moons. An' still... It hurts, doesn't it? " She followed his gaze to the rippling water. " I know ye miss him. Stars know I do too... Even after everythin' that's happened. I know ye wonder if things could've been different. If I... If anyone had done one thing differently... "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

42 MOONS

𖧧

RIVERCLANNER

𖧧

SONG

𖧧

bio

 

[RUSHINGTIDE RUSHINGTIDE]

x

He couldn't get anything past her, could he? But then again, he's never been able to, not even when he was a kit. Mothers must have a sixth sense, at least when it comes to their own brood. . . such a childish thought, but Rushingtide believes it to be true. He suppresses a chuckle at his own ideas, instead opting to welcome his mother's comfort with a purr.

"Do you. . ." He begins after she's done talking. The warrior listens to her worries, many of which he shares. "Do you think he'll come back? That they'll let him?" Will he be shredded and killed if he tries? Rushingtide can't help but think Frostmoth had been hasty in his decision to toss Adderfang out like he was nothing— like he's some monster. . . And it was hard not to be bitter about it, to resent the deputy for it. "He's not. . . bad. He. . ." Should be given another chance. His voice cracks slightly, thinking of his younger siblings. They'd be apprentices soon and their father wouldn't be here for it. Do they even remember what he looks like? Golden eyes meet her teal gaze in silence, so different from how he'd once been in his own kithood. "Have y'seen him since?"

OOC //

RUSHINGTIDE

WARRIOR OF RIVERCLAN
he / him, cismale
16 moons old, ages on the 14th.
adder x wavesong, littermate to crescentmoon
older brother of salmonkit, otterkit, foamkit, piranhakit, troutkit and shellkit
SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION

penned by nocthymia

 

[Wavesong]

The ocean is in my soul,
And it's pulling me back to shore.
I'm letting go of the weight that's dragging me down.

.

Wavesong watched her son with a certain softness in her eyes, a glimmer of hurt... Because she felt it not fair that someone so young carried such sorrow on his shoulders already... A soft sigh came as she reached out, brushing her tail gently along his flank as he spoke. She listened to every word he said, mulled them over in her mind and nodded along. She listened like a mother would, like a mother should.... Patient and tender.

When the question slipped out of Adder returning to RiverClan one day, she couldn't help the way her breath hitched momentarily. Not because she didn't know what to say, but because she did... And neither answer would lift the weight on either shoulders...

" Aye. " she commented finally, a soft laugh slipping from her. " Ye never could hide a storm from yer ma. " she murmured gently, leaning her head against his for a moment. " Ye an' Cres... Ye both wore yer hearts on yer whiskers... Even when ye tried t'pretend ye didn't... " she spoke softly, her heart tight and her eyes burning as she pondered for a moment on the words that coiled around in her chest.

Would he ever come back... Could he ever come back after all that happened. The silence was long, perhaps too long for a moment before she finally lifted her head to look at her son. " I want him to. " she admitted with a tremble to her voice, an honesty she rarely allowed herself in favour of remaining strong for her kits. " Stars know, I want t'see him walk back inta camp... T'see his face when he looks at ye all grown... When he sees Cres, an' th' wee guppies... " her voice cracked and she swallowed thickly, a smile to her face. " I want him back so badly it aches... "

She breathed in deeply, closing her eyes for a moment. In the back of her mind, she saw the memory of a wide stretch of the shipyard, salt wind and two small kits wrestling at her paws... A younger Adder promising them fish tails and bravery, his amber eyes soft... But then...

" But wantin' doesn't make it so... " she whispered with a sad little smile as she opened her eyes to look over at Rushingtide, seeing the way his face moved, the expressions he gave her, the way he stammered his father wasn't bad and... She leaned in, touching her forehead to his cheek, steadying him through her touch.

" No. He's not a bad cat. " she said firmly. " He's made of loyalty an' fierceness an' love. Too much love, sometimes. That's what led 'im t'what he did. Despair's a dangerous tide... It sweeps ye under if ye let it. An' that day? He drowned in it... " she spoke softly, pressing her paw gently upon her son's. " Rush... Do ye remember th' things I taught ye an' Cres... Back at th'shipyard? " she whispered softly, a frown to her face before she looked up at him with a gentle smile.

" When ye an' Cres were wee things, chasin' barnacles an' bitin' me tail..? Th'rules I drilled into those tick lil' skulls..? " she urged softly, catching his amber eyes, so alike Adder's. A watery laugh left her, tears evident in her eyes. " Rule number four... Ye don't kill another cat... Not unless there's truly no other path... Not unless yer life's on th'brink and ye exhausted every other choice... " she breathed out finally, flicking her ears back sadly as she inhaled.

" Yer father... He broke that rule. Not outta cruelty. Not because he's heartless. But because he let grief guide his claws instead o' thinkin'. He saw no way out an' acted on fear. An' it cost him everythin'... " she spoke, her voice softening to something pained but resolute. " Had our leader not had lives t'spare... I don't know what would've happened t'yer da'... " she said honestly, closing her eyes. " An' Adder... He'll carry that guilt th'rest of his life... Whether he admits it or not... "

There was a long silence again as she leaned against her son, a frown creasing her face before she finally spoke again. " As fer comin' back... " she started, her eyes lifting to gaze at the river, her reflection beside his. Hers tired... His burdened... " If there's a path fer him... Only time'll show it... Cats change... Clans change... Feelin's change... But some wounds... " she swallowed, touching her chest lightly. " They take longer t'heal than others... "

She slowly shook her head, a sad smile splayed across her face as she looked over at Rushingtide. " No... I haven't seen yer da'... Not since I gave Shell t'him... He keeps eludin' me... Avoidin' me. I've tried t'find him at th'edge of th'borders... " she admitted softly, flicking an ear. " But I dream of him... Sometimes. I see him holdin' wee Shell... Or standin' at th' entrance o' th'nursery, waitin' fer me... Or lookin' at ye... Proud. " she shook her head sharply once, tears now evidently slipping down her cheeks. " Dreams are cruel things, sometimes... "

A deep exhale before she steadied herself and looked back at him, her gaze earnest. " But ye. Yer real. Yer here. Breathin', hurtin', livin'. An' no matter what may come... I won't let ye carry this weight along, Rushingtide. Yer not yer father's ghost... Yer my son. An' ye deserve peace too. " she spoke firmly before giving him a light nudge. " I'm here, tell me more of what's in that head o' yers... I will listen. Always. Ye may not be small enough anymore t'tuck between me paws... But I am here. Always."


Speech, thoughts/emphasis

42 MOONS

𖧧

RIVERCLANNER

𖧧

SONG

𖧧

bio

 

[RUSHINGTIDE RUSHINGTIDE]

x

His mother spills out her heart to him. So much like her namesake, he practically drowns in her words; breath catching in his throat as if he's forgotten how to breathe, swept under Wavesong's own sorrows. Rushingtide lets out a low gasp, attempting to mask it by forcing out a cough. "Frostmoth was hasty in his decision," He blurts out, brows furrowed in anger. His father hadn't been given a chance to make up for the accident, for the mistake of attacking Pikestar. "I'm not sayin' they should forgive and accept him right away," The tom continues with a roll of his shoulders, trying to ease the tension stored in them, to no avail. "But he just. . ." Killed someone? Didn't mean it? If it had been anyone but his parent, his blood, would he be so forgiving? Would he be asking for second chances?

When she admits she too hasn't seen Adderfang since she'd asked him to give Shellkit a proper send-off, he stiffens. He wished his father would lurk around the territory, give them hints that he was still alive, still there with them. Just that wouldn't have been enough, but it would've been something. "You don't think. . . ?" The possibility of death was far too cruel of a thought, so much so Rushingtide shakes his head in an attempt to drive it away. Maybe Adderfang was just out exploring other places, and he'd come back eventually. Hopefully. It feels like wishful thinking, something childish to cling to. But it's the little hope he has to hold on close.

Even with his mother telling him he's not his father's ghost, he can't find it in himself to agree ( or to vocally disagree with her ). Instead, the warrior flicks his ear almost dismissively, wanting to move the conversation along without dwelling into the inner workings of his mind. "I'm glad you're here, ma." He admits with a smile, once again purring. Though, he wonders, if RiverClan was worth it if his father wasn't here with them— such a stable in their history, both in the shipyard and here. "But I can't say there's been much else goin' on inside my head." The brown tom adds with a chuckle, not different from the ones from his kithood.

OOC //

RUSHINGTIDE

WARRIOR OF RIVERCLAN
he / him, cismale
16 moons old, ages on the 14th.
adder x wavesong, littermate to crescentmoon
older brother of salmonkit, otterkit, foamkit, piranhakit, troutkit and shellkit
SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION

penned by nocthymia