What did she expect from a cat like Cicadabuzz? Pity? A little bit of understanding.
Flea learns that quick—left gasping, spitting her frustrations out like bile, only to realize she might as well have been talking to the air.
They don't care. What do they care about? Plants? Certainly not about how she feels or about unfairness. Life isn't fair, and she should've known that all too well by now.
And when those eyes turn on her, there's no anger in them, no righteous fire, only a sinking coldness that makes her skin crawl. The way they speak—it's casual, like they're discussing the weather.
Pest. Useless.
Nothing that Flea hasn't heard before.
Then, they mention her mother. Fleapaw sparks like a live wire, pelt bristling.
"Don't talk about my mother, you bug-eyed freak!" The insult tears from her throat, a snarl warping her muzzle as she flings spit in their direction.
"You're named after a bug too! An annoying ass tree thing! Which one of your insect parents gave you those eyes!?" It's the best insult she can think of, but it doesn't matter—they're already talking again. Already dismissing her, like she's not even worth the breath.
How many times has she been told she's a waste of time? Possumgrin doesn't hide his distaste for her, doesn't care if she knows that he'd rather be doing anything else. But she waits… and she listens… and holds her tongue even when he treats her like shit
Fleapaw clings to the shred of hope that that one day, he'd see her—that he would find some use for her. That she'll make him see that she can be more. That she will grow into a great warrior—better than anyone else. She will. She has to...
But what if I…can't? If she stays weak and useless—and then she can't protect them like she promised.
Shouldn't I be bigger by now?
A waste. It's all a waste.
But she still remembers the skirmish. How Sablestar used her. How that warrior wrangled her like a rat. She lost count how many times had someone bigger than her shoved her into the dirt like that. Fuck she's hit the ground so many times now and its getting so old.
A snarl builds in her throat. She wants to lash out, to vent her anger, to make Cicada hurt like she hurts. Fleapaw wants so badly to make them sorry, but... she can't. They are bigger. Stronger. And she thinks of Tick. How easy it would be for a cat like Cicadabuzz to take away what they've given.
He could get hurt. That thought is a shield for them, or maybe a chain—one she can't break, not without hurting something she cares about. It wasn't always that way.
Her chest heaves. The frustration builds and builds so much that it makes her head spin. Cicada is so close that she can feel their breath tickling her face—warm—bitter. They push into her space. Taunting. Daring her to do something. Those black eyes bore into her own, and she can see herself in them in painful detail. Had she always been so… brittle looking?
"You—" Fleapaw's nostrils flare. The den felt so cramped all of a sudden. The smell of herbs was potent, clogging the air, making it hard to breathe.
Whatever this feeling is, she hates it more than anything.
It isn't until now that she realize just how hard she's been biting down. A bitter metallic taste coats her tongue.
"Soulless bastard." She hisses through her teeth, blood painting them in a thin film of reddish pink.
"You're gonna die alone." She has to get out of here and quick.
"Least then all these damn plants you love some much have something to rotten to feed them." She turns sharply, crushing leaves beneath her paws, barreling out of the den before she can hear another word. Tears well in her eyes, droplets shake free as she slams into someone. Fleapaw doesn't stop to see who it is, just hides her face and keeps running.
- Exit Fleapaw -