Loner/Rogue so run run run little lamb ㄨ MELINOE

[MELINOE]

MELINOE, rustclaws & soldier

respects strength, but not neccisarily authority. She will bend the rules to her benefit, especially under weak and soft-hearted leadership. In conversations, she is witty, intense, and unsympathetic. She tends to be somber, irritable, and distant. Her exile and the death of her mate drove her down a path of hatred and vengeful, especially toward those tied to the colony responsible for her exile. She joined the Rustclaws mostly to stave off boredom. Though she has since grown somewhat fond of the rust kingdom.

Formerly Birch, she once made efforts to wrangle her temper. But without Night as a ground force, she's turned loose cannon—often seeking violence and bloodshed as a distraction. That said, she sometimes experiences remorse for the things she does and pushes away others to protect them and herself.

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— BASICS — APPEARANCE — DETAILS — HISTORY —

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• MELINOE
  ↪ Originally named Birch for her pale pelt and stark stripes on her limbs and face.
  Age: 45 moons
  Pronouns: She/They
  Rank: SOLDIER
  
• SEAL LYNX POINT
  

  

  
  Description: Cool-toned seal lynx point with light blue eyes. Peppered with scars, the most prominent is an injury to her eye that never healed correctly, permanently discolored a portion of her iris.
  Physique: Muscular and stocky
  Posture: Melinoe tends to skulk and loom even when she's not trying to be intimidating. Has a habit of licking old scars or cleaning her claws when idle.
  Distinguishing Features: A scar-littered pelt, mangled ears, and a mottled bloody eye, as if someone dipped a red paintbrush in a cup of water.
  
• Reckless, Dominating, Vengeful, Cold, Clever​

  
  
  » She was once a member of the colony. After being exiled, Melinoe adopted a new name and found a secluded corner of the world, where she grew bitter and vengeful.
  » Shortly after joining, Nonna presented Melinoe with a 'test'. The soldier was tasked with retrieving an item from the dog yard. She did just that and returned with a bloodied pelt and a dog collar to show for her efforts. Melinoe was offered a position as an Enforcer, but she declined.
  » As a former rogue, her pelt is painted with the scars of countless battles. Most notable is the red discoloration of her eye, which she did not have upon leaving the colony. The injury never healed correctly and deeply contrasts with the icy blue of her pupils.
  » She holds a grudge toward the former colony's members and would need no other reason to make their lives difficult.
  » Melinoe fills the void with mindless distractions, attraction, and violence.
  » Since the death of her mate, she slips into depression around Night's death anniversary and disappears for a few days to be alone.
  » Struggles to have anything beyond superficial relationships. She holds everyone at a distance, especially those she cares about, not only out of fear of losing them but because Melinoe knows they could get hurt by her, just as Night did.
  » She hates being cold. Leaf-bare sucks!
  » Carved by grief and kept alive by fury.
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• Early Life
  
  → Originally born as Birch. She was born to a loner named Moth. Her father was a kittypet named Jasper. He was not present in her life, and her mother tried, but had her share of issues and tended to be neglectful.
  → She grew up with a small community of cats near the twoleg place. She grew up with few friends, but her closest friend was a she-cat named Night. The two were close friends and eventually fell in love. Melinoe was the first to confess, and the two were very close and affectionate with one another.
  → Due to the scarcity of prey where they lived, the cats in their community were driven apart. Birch and Night drifted toward Fourtrees and found the colony.
  → Life in the colony was better at first, but as the colony grew, both found it more difficult there. Birch especially found it difficult to get along with some of the other members. She had a hot temper and frequently got into arguments.
  → Birch struggled to accept Fray and Hawthorne's authority. Hawthorne especially, she thought weak and doubted his ability to lead, though she tried not to do so openly.
  → When all the tension in the group started to reach a head, Birch got into a tense argument with another colonist. She lost her temper and attacked them, badly injuring the other cat.
  → Afterwards, she was brought before Hawthorne, and it was decided that she would be exiled. Birch argued her case, insisting that the other cat provoked her but the decision was made.
  → Birch got into a heated argument with her mate after leaving the colony. Night ran off through the woods and out onto the thunderpath, where she was struck by a monster and instantly killed.
  → Witnessing the death of her childhood love greatly affected Melinoe. She grew cold and even more unhinged. She blames herself the most, but also holds a grudge against the colony and some of its members for allowing her exile that led to Night's death.
  → She came upon the Junkyard bloody and exhausted, that was where she met the Rustclaws.
  
  
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[MELINOE]

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The month was a murky memory inside her head. She recalled murmured voices, hushed and tentative around her nest, fearful of stirring the monster that slept inside. She remembered nearly snapping Lilith's head off when the witch dared poke her nose in and mentioned medicine for her 'mood swings'. Beyond that, she remembered hardly anything at all. Melinoe slept away as much of the last few weeks as possible. She'd grown thinner around the waist, cheekbones hollowed from the inside out. The sharpness of her gaze was dimmed and zombie-like, and she felt that way too. Their first snow came and went in the blink of an eye. Crisp white layers piled up against the warehouse and melted puddles from the paws that tracked the powder inside. Dull flashes of days spend sitting out on the balcony, staring across those endless fields of barren-ground and snow-crusted trees. Melinoe moved on autopilot most of the time, disinterested in the 'festivities' that went on around her. She just couldn't find anything to be festive about.

On the inside, she was a boiling pot left on the stove. The temperature was cranked down to simmer and she could feel herself evaporating away, lower and lower until suddenly, an unseen force turned up the heat. She looked for an outlet and found that inflicting pain on anyone other than herself, made her hurt a little less. Melinoe rarely recalled what she did, but sometimes it was physical, and other times mental. She mentally and physically battered those around her until she drove everyone away and there was only her left. Eventually, she decided it better to escape the confinements of the warehouse and retreat elsewhere, to spare those that still cared about her. When she embarked, the sun was a hole in the sky, blinding and bright. When she arrived at the barn, it was replaced by a silverish-orb and an inky blackness. Melinoe crashed for what felt like decades and when she awoke, the world was different—grey—colorless. The emotions that she blocked came like droplets through a leaky roof. She could feel pressure as the water built up there, and by the time the day arrived, she was ready to burst. Melinoe moved in a stupor, barely aware of the flowers she plucked or the journey she took. Before she knew it, she was there, standing before Nightcaw's grave with pain burning a crater into her chest.

Melinoe stood there for—shit—she didn't know how long. Flecks of snow drifted down and dusted her pelt. Mel stared at the pile of rocks before her and suddenly, it was like she woke up for the first time in weeks. The weight of the bouquet in her jaw became apparent and she placed the flowers down. She blinked softly and wiped the top of the grave with a shaky paw. It took a while but she finally found the words. "Hey, my love, I know it's—" She sighed and lowered her head. "-I-it's been a while." Melinoe sunk and little lower and finally sat down. Even though there was nobody in that grave, she stared longingly at the ground. Nightcaw was buried back in Riverclan, but today she decided to forget. She could be angry about it some other day, but right now her head was too messy to feel anything else but grief. "I thought I saw you at the battle." She cringed at the memory. "I can't blame you for not… wanting to see me." She began, "I'm not the same warrior, the same… cat... you loved. I know that." She smiled weakly and shuffled her paws, hoping that would snuff the frozen sensation. "—but I still love you, even if you don't or can't love me." There wasn't a part of Nightcaw that she didn't love. Of course, she had always had a better soul, kinder, easier to forgive. Melinoe was certain that had the roles been reversed, Nightcaw wouldn't have ended up like her.

"I miss you, you know." She swallowed thickly, "More than you could ever know." There was hardly a day that went by that she didn't. The Goldblood's offered an extra distraction, but no matter how hard she tried, she could never bring herself to forget. Sometimes, she went to bed and still woke up thinking she would be there, nestled by her side. She would turn a corner and still expect to see those green eyes, happy to see her face. "Even if you aren't listening, I hope you are, but, even if you aren't. I know I've changed, but how I felt about you, will never..." She forced a laugh, "I just—I know you wouldn't approve if you knew, the gang, the things I've done. I know it sounds stupid, but I did them for you, for justice. You deserve better, always did." Before she knew it, warm liquid started to sting her eyes. She blinked through the pain and continued speaking.

"I had to do something…" She sniffed, "Something bad. I had to hurt someone and I-I don't know if I can let it go. It wasn't like the rest, I knew her." Melinoe grit her teeth and fought against the memory—the scent of blood in the air—the tangy taste on her tongue. "If you had been there, you… you wouldn't have forgiven me either." When she closed her eyes lately, she relived those last few seconds, repeatedly. The guilt followed her around like a hound and she couldn't' say she didn't deserve it. "Its all fucked up. I'm—Just shit made more sense when you were around, or at least I'd have someone to talk to. It's just me now." Melinoe trembled fiercely and she couldn't tell if it was from this or the cold. Liquid pooled on her lower lashes and hung there, in thick heavy globs. "I k-know I can't bring you back." Her voice was raspy and pained. A sharp sensation lingered in her throat and made speaking difficult. "Y-you wouldn't understand, but if I—I can get some justice for you, I will. If I can h-hurt them for what they did, I will. What happened ain't right and I can't let that go. I'm sorry if you hate me for it." I hate me too.

Melinoe hadn't returned to the barn since she visited Nightcaw. The hay was a touch frostier than she remembered, already growing soggy as she laid there. It was better than the bare floor but she couldn't help but miss the scorching warmth of summer, even if she hated it back then. The inside of the barn smelled like stale hay, oats, and mice. A comfort compared to the blood, rust, and desperation of the warehouse. Outside the shutters rattled, and planks groaned against the high winds. A sound that she and mice both grown accustomed to. Even in warmer seasons, the wind was a lash across the backs of anyone who visited, and a force that persisted against the crumbling exterior. The barn held but she wouldn't give it another decade.

Despite the scrawniness of her meal, it still smelled tantalizing. It was warmer than anything she had out of the fresh-kill pile lately. Maneki was the only one who got to enjoy his food warm—greedy bastard. Her mouth salivated at the scent. Melinoe licked her lips and prepared to take the first bite. Delicious savory notes called to her as she parted her jaws but she never made it further than that. She glanced up from her meal at the sign of movement and glimpsed something scraggly creep out from behind the hay. Melinoe's splayed jaw remained frozen in place, her blood-speckled eye trailing up. At first, she thought it was some kind of rodent. Dark unkept bunches of fur stuck up in different angles and hung like an oversized coat over a small, disheveled form. Rat? No, she gradually realized that it was not an oversized rat but a kit. Yeesh. There was a lot to look at, from her ears that looked like they'd been nibbled by mice to the ribs protruding through that greasy coat.

Melinoe's jaw gradually closed but she looked ahead, unable to tear away from those weird green eyes. Took a moment but Melinoe found her voice. Unfortunately, she didn't have anything nice to say. "Jeez kid, you're a damn mess." If it didn't look bad enough there was something wrong with it too. The gremlin stared right past her and initially, Mel thought her eyes must've been off. Like she'd gotten smacked in the head and they just stuck like that. Eventually, she realized that the kit wasn't staring at her but her dinner.

Mel looked from those emaciated ribs to her meal and frowned. "What is it Nibbles? You hungry?" Melinoe tilted her head and then abruptly moved her paw and hooked it over the hare possessively. The hunter flashed sharp stained teeth between her next words. "Well, this one isn't for you. Caught it with my own two paws." She sapped and wrinkled her scarred nose. "Now go bother your mama or somethin', just looking at you is ruining my appetite." Melinoe had shared before but not with some scraggly runt. Cocoa was a special case and it'd been green-leaf back then, not the limb-severing cold of leaf-bare. She had an empty stomach too and it wasn't her job to feed someone else's brat. Melinoe shifted in the hay to where her back was slightly turned. She spared the runt one more annoyed glance, grasped the hare in her paws, and finally took that first bite.

Melinoe often laid awake staring at the top of her crate. She slept alright enough, but sometimes it just wasn't happening. She would toss and turn and grumble to herself about how it was futile. Eventually, though, she would drift into a state of limbo, veering between asleep and awake. That was until some asshole opened his yap and ruined that for her entirely.

At the sound of his voice, she let out a strained sigh. "Are you fucking kidding me?" She sighed and slammed her paw down. A few styrofoam peanuts shot out of the filled cushion that made up her nest. It was frustrating but something that she had grown used to since their numbers took a sharp spike. All these soft greenhorns came around, enticed by the lawless (or so they thought) life that was being a Goldblood. She got sick of their moping and whining—It's too cold—there's not enough prey—I'm bored. Now she knew why Maneki kept boarded up in his office all the time. He didn't want to deal with all their bullshit.

The head hunter mumbled to herself and stuck her head out to see who was causing all the hullabaloo. Mel thought she recognized that voice enough to guess who was to blame, "Do you need someone to tuck you in, Killian? Give you goodnight kisses and read you a story?" Melinoe said in a mocking tone and retreated back into her crate. The hope of going back to sleep was slipping farther out of reach.