Private Camp the coldness that I've been feeling all this time, maybe it's just an illusion // vulture

[Frogheart]

Frogheart heaved a sigh, staring across camp with a troubled expression. His recent conversation with Swamphound haunted hop. Was it time to move on from Marrow? But how? It took everything in her to avert his gaze from the brilliant white form of Marrowkeeper sweeping across camp towards the warriors' den. She didn't offer him a passing glance, which was fine. Totally... fine. Another heavy sigh threatened to draw her lungs up and out of her body. Maybe they'd even draw hops heart along with them, to be splayed out across the floor of camp for everyone to point and laugh at. It wouldn't have felt any different. She knew cats were talking about the pathetic lump grouching around camp between patrols, and every failed attempt at winning Marrowkeeper's affections stung more and more.

From where she sulked, the ghostly white pelt of Marrowkeeper appeared once again, and this time hop let his gaze drift towards her - only to find it was not her at all. It was the painfully familiar white pelt of Vulturesong, a she-cat whose presence she had rebuffed since the molly had joined Shadowclan. She'd joined the clan on the heels of Marrow ripping out his little heart and stomping it into the dust, taking away any chance she had at a real family with her kits. The uncanny similarities between the two she-cats had been too much for hop at the time, and he had pointedly avoided her ever since.

Maybe... Maybe that had been kitish. Maybe the first step to healing, to moving on, could be forgiving this stranger for... Looking like his ex-mate... Stars, I should be named Frogbrain, not Frogheart. Yet, even as she scolded himself for acting foolishly, there was a weight in her paws, an unwillingness to just stand up and walk over and make simple conversation. Hop flexed her claws thoughtfully. What was the worst that could happen? She could tear his ears off for being rude. But that was probably unlikely. Probably... She swallowed hard. On the other paw, maybe she was actually kind - maybe she was nothing like Marrow and they could become good friends! Anything was possible!

Grasping at that tiny shred of optimism, Frogheart forced herself to his paws and approached Vulturesong. She even had blue eyes like Marrowkeeper... Focus! Hop cleared her throat and offered a small, polite smile. "Hi, Vulturesong. I was wondering if maybe we could... talk? Well, I was actually hoping to apologize. I haven't really been kind since you got here. You're a clanmate but I barely know you, and that's really rather rude. I hope you can forgive me, I'm not usually so... Like this," Despite the composed demeanor he'd intended on approaching the situation with, words began to tumble from hops mouth before she could stop them.

for me, for me, for me

♢

• ooc — @VULTURESONG
• frogheart // he/she/hop (any gendered terms!)
  ✤ black rosette tabby with low white and green eyes
  ✤ warrior of shadowclan
  ✤ 42 moons; ages on the 12th of every month
  ✤ "speech", thoughts, attempted action, "other character's speech"
  ✤ peaceful/healing powerplay is allowed

 

[VULTURESONG]

She had joined this clan to ensure her survival, but it seemed a foolish decision. While she did have somewhere to rest somewhat peacefully (the snores of her clanmates grated her ears), she would've preferred a full belly. Now her pelt was disheveled and a faint outline of her ribs could be seen. A pathetic display. I don't recall experiencing this fate on my own.

The clan… It was alright. She couldn't name one cat who she considered a friend, but she didn't join for companionship. She was content in the general avoidance she faced as well as the remarks made about her. Not that she particularly enjoyed hearing cats comment on her demeanor (it quickly grew stale), but it intrigued her to hear how drastically the rumors have shifted.

Nevertheless, today was another day in which she would find some secluded area of their territory. That is… Until she is approached by Frogheart.

Stormy blue eyes narrow in suspicion. In all the moons she had been here, the other warrior avoided her as if she were some horrid beast. The times where they were obligated to be together were patrols, and even then Frogheart talked to another clanmate. Is someone putting you up to this? Certainly there are better things to be doing. I'd rather not waste my breath on asinine matters.

When Frogheart is done, she scowls, "Why bother asking permission if you intended to talk anyway?" There it is. The biting words of the ever cold hearted Vulturesong. At least, that is what she hears as she passes some clanmates. Did they not understand? Or were they hopelessly incapable? It was not her fault if she responded or answered in a manner that was unacceptable to them. It was not her duty to please them.

In truth it amuses her to see the surprise on Frogheart's face. Her white tail flicks behind her in annoyance. "Anyhow, there is nothing to forgive. Just because we are clanmates does not obligate either of us to be friendly." Frogheart's avoidance is something she has grown used to. She had been curious about the reason why, but quickly dropped the idea when she realized that it would be more trouble than it was worth. Besides, it's not as if she actually cared to know. At worst, his aversion was a massive annoyance when she had to pass down some news related to patrols to her.

"Frankly I don't care if you are rude towards me. As long as you don't intend to kill me, then there is nothing to apologize for." Why must you look so troubled? There was never a problem between us in the first place. If there was, well... You wouldn't like to know. "If you must apologize, then stop scurrying away when I am simply trying to pass down orders to you. It's quite a hassle to find someone who can tell you that we're going to try our paw at hunting around the Monster Tree instead."

 

[Frogheart]

Frogheart accepted her initial rebuff with a small nod. She was right - the formality of asking if they could talk immediately became pointless if she was just going to ramble on anyway. But what came next left hop dumbstruck for a moment. So she'd noticed his avoidance? But didn't think it was rude? "Um-" He blinked. Hop didn't really know what to say. He'd expected anger, resentment, a harsh dismissal... Anything. But her response was so casual, like it didn't mean anything at all. In fact, the prideful part of herself was almost offended that she just didn't seem to care.

Perplexed and feeling rather silly, Frogheart settled in front of Vulturesong, wrapping his plumy tail over his paws. "Well, I'm glad you don't think I've been rude. I am sorry about the um... avoiding you... thing. It's nothing personal. I just-" She hesitated. No way could hop dump her feelings about Marrowkeeper on this poor cat. "I just sort of had a lot on my mind when you first got here, and then I just... Anyway, sorry. I promise to be less obtuse in the future. I want us to get along, even if you don't think we need to be friends..?" He smiled meekly, feeling like a complete and utter fool.

for me, for me, for me

♢

• ooc —
• frogheart // he/she/hop (any gendered terms!)
  ✤ black rosette tabby with low white and green eyes
  ✤ warrior of shadowclan
  ✤ 42 moons; ages on the 12th of every month
  ✤ "speech", thoughts, attempted action, "other character's speech"
  ✤ peaceful/healing powerplay is allowed

 

[VULTURESONG]

Stormy blue narrow as Frogheart settles in front of her. It's not as if she wasn't expecting the warrior to sit near her to continue this conversion, but what piques her interest is his decsion to sit in front of her. For all of Frogheart's indecision they are rather courageous. I can strike you down right now if I really wanted to. Do you trust the words of another so easily? Her gaze moves to the plumed tail wrapped over her paws. So defenseless. As much as it would be interesting to see what would happen if she were to strike Frogheart, she quickly decides its too much trouble. Especially in ShadowClan camp of all places.

Regardless, she pays attention to what hop said. The indication that Vulturesong is steadily becoming annoyed by their hesitance and vague explanation in concern of their actions is met with roll of stormy blue eyes and a tail flicking. "I hope for your own sake you keep your promise." A warning. "Those who do not speak plainly of their desires irritate me to no end. I do not care if it is unproper. I do not desire wasting precious heartbeats for fools." Whether Frogheart is deemed a fool is yet to be seen.

"We have gotten along fine already. In all our time being forced together, did I insult you? Did I abandon you in any of our shared patrols? However strained our time has been together, we were able to carry out our tasks. If we have not gotten along, your life would be more miserable." She does not speak of his relationship with Marrowkeeper. Of course she knows, it was difficult not to hear some whispers about it. It surely did not help that she saw Frogheart sulking when the imposing white warrior rebuffed hop's affections. What she speaks of is the frequency of biting words sent Frogheart's way.

Vulturesong would have ended it there, but the other warrior had said something so peculiar. Not once did she speak of it. Perhaps a misunderstanding? She tilts her head from staring at her black plumed tail to the meek smile curled from his lips. Unfortunate. It is not a misunderstanding.

"Answer me earnestly, do you wish to become friends? Or do you desire my friendship?"

 

[Frogheart]

Frogheart blinked, green eyes glimmering. She was... threatening her? Maybe? That if they didn't get along properly, that if he didn't speak plainly of hops desires... She would make him miserable. "N-No, of course you haven't insulted me or anything I just - no, never mind, you're right." She can only shut up and nod. It's interesting, the sharpness with which she addresses him. She supposed she should be upset, or offended, but there really wasn't anything unkind Vulturesong was saying. In fact, it was almost refreshing compared to Marrow - she often spoke like they were in on some sort of joke together, but Frogheart had never really been sure what the joke was. The calm, straightforwardness of Vulturesong was a relief.

Her followup question, however, completely destabilized him. "Friends?" She sputtered. "I mean, yeah, that would be - I mean, if you wanted? To be friends?" She could feel her brain running itself in circles, could hear the blood roaring in his ears. Vulturesong had just said that cats who don't just say what they mean annoy her. And there he was, skittering around what she meant to say like a bug avoiding crushing paws. What was wrong with him!? Hop snapped her jaws shut and forced herself to take a breath. "What I mean is: I would like... for us to be friends. I would like for us to get along in the sense that we actually know each other and enjoy each other's company." It takes everything in her to not lilt his voice up in a question at the end. "I hope that's something you would also like. But if not, that is okay and I will... respect your choice." Well, truth be told, he would be utterly devastated after all the progress they'd made in such a short amount of time, but on the other paw, she was tired of padding after pretty she-cats who didn't care about hop. She lifted the gaze he hadn't realized had fallen to her paws and offered another, slightly less meek, smile.

for me, for me, for me

♢

• ooc — we're learninggggg
• frogheart // he/she/hop (any gendered terms!)
  ✤ black rosette tabby with low white and green eyes
  ✤ warrior of shadowclan
  ✤ 42 moons; ages on the 12th of every month
  ✤ "speech", thoughts, attempted action, "other character's speech"
  ✤ peaceful/healing powerplay is allowed

 

[VULTURESONG]

The white molly can't suppress her frustration. White ears flatten against her head, a fluffy white tail lashes behind her, and a scowl curls from her maw. It really shouldn't bother her this much, but if things continued this way... They may very well end up in the medicine cat den. It would be best if she rose to her paws and leave Frogheart. However, he was like this. It wasn't as if hop could suddenly and perfectly change the mannerisms she'd developed throughout the moons in an instant. I doubt the habit would ever fully go away. It is for this fact alone that Vulturesong does not leave Frogheart all alone looking like a fool in the middle of camp.

Thankfully, Frogheart's next set of words are chosen more carefully. While it is far from what she would prefer, there was an attempt. As she listens and watches him intently, the tail that once lashed behind her now rests gently against the ground. The scowl she once bore had turned into a stoic expression, and her ears were no longer flattened against her head.

When hop finished speaking, she is met with silence from Vulturesong. The only indication that he is not being ignored is the way stormy blue eyes met green. "I wouldn't be a good friend," she finally answers. It is not a rejection. At least, not yet.

"I view friendship as nothing but an inconvenience and a necessary annoyance. The friendship you speak of is not the same as mine. I prefer to be alone. You will not be able to find me easily, nor will I ask you to hang out. I am not affectionate in any regard. If you attempt to brush your fur against mine as if I were your other friends, I will hurt you. Not hard enough to bleed, but it will be painful regardless."

There is little reason to share this with Frogheart, as he has probably witnessed Vulturesong keeping to herself and avoiding others as much as possible. Even her own nest in the warriors den was practically isolated. Whenever the warriors gathered and told stories she was nowhere to be found. When it came to sharing tongues she was all by herself. No one dared ask nor tried to share tongues with her. Not that she was complaining. Nor did she think of how her life could be seen by others. Did hop think she was pitiful? Lonely?

"You intrigue me."

Her gaze has not left green, noting any change by her confession. "I don't think I have seen someone so nervous to voice their desire before. I have not uttered a word and you have already backed down. What is even more peculiar is your decision to respect my choice. A choice that could be either good or bad. I wonder if you would respect the choice of cuffing you?" White paws slowly draw closer, so that she is towering over Frogheart.

"Not that I have any reason to do so now. You have been less obtuse as promised."

She lowers her head, face about a claw length away from hops. It does not occur to her that this closeness may be unsettling to the other warrior, nor does she care about what others may think of this scene. "All I want is to survive. Friendship is necessary in ensuring it. I will not promise that you will enjoy my company. However, I can promise loyalty and a friendship where misery is shared." Do you understand? "If it was not clear enough, I am offering up my form of friendship. If you are fine with it, then we will be friends." It should be simple enough. Oh, if only it was. In the future she would look back at this moment and hiss at how foolish she had been. Foolish in thinking that friendship was simple.

"If not, that is fine as well. I accept whatever decision you decide." Stormy blue avert their eyes from green. "However, I will begrudgingly admit that this conversation has not been unpleasant." The white molly finally draws away and gives hop space.