Private Camp they say eve ate from the tree of the knowledge of 'good and evil' // Sealpaw

[WOLFPACK]

AND I AM SORRY MY CONSCIENCE CALLED IN SICK AGAIN​

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Wolfpack grunted as he moved into what he called a 'control slide' down the muddy bank of the camps decline, pausing for a moment once his paws were back on the damp, mossy floor of their camp to shake out his coat. Where the camp itself was an open space tucked among the pond pines, the rest of the territory was a muddy, shrub-covered hellscape that often left him and his clanmates returning to camp streaked with dirt and dampened fur. As if they'd just been in some warzone fighting for their lives instead of out on a common patrol.

As he made his way toward one of the dryer spots in camp, blue and gold eyes gave the place a quick sweep in search of a familiar blue pelt only to find no sign of the shecat. Looks like he'd be grooming his own fur tonight. How fun. Oh well, it was probably better that he didn't allow himself to become too spoiled. Cats like Marbleshine were a luxury after all, one that Wolfpack couldn't always afford to have at his beck and call. As much as he thought of her as his, he knew there was no real ownership there. Just whatever strange obligation she felt toward him that kept her coming back with those bright, naive smiles. The very same thing that would have him splay open a cat for trying to hurt or take her away.

The closest Wolfpack had ever come to having a 'friend'.

Alone again, he settled down and began to groom his fur into something more acceptable, his efforts half-hearted considering he'd be going out again sooner than later anyways.

@Sealpaw

​

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shadowclan deputy - male - a large, monochrome chimera with mismatched eyes and several scars​

​

 

[Sealpaw]

┍❆

She couldn't ask Timberfrost about the reason the colony split, as much as she'd like to ask a more friendly face about it. He hadn't been there and only knew as much as Sealpaw had been able to tell him. Sablestar seemed constantly busy. Asking Hollowmist briefly crossed her mind but the chimera's expressionless monotone unnerved her somewhat and the apprentice wasn't sure if she'd like to hear what was obviously going to be a bloody story in the same cadence of someone recounting a particularly boring patrol. Blue eyes scanned the camp clearing for who she could possibly pester for an answer when Wolfpack slid into camp, clearly having just returned from a patrol of his own. He'd been there. He had been the one who suggested to Marbleshine to partially collapse the den to better protect those inside from the war outside. He could definitely tell her.

"Wolfpack," Sealpaw trotted out from the apprentice's den towards the deputy. "Are you busy..? I want to ask you something... I-if not, it's not important... It can wait or I can ask someone else..."

'Just spit it out.' She took a breath, half expecting the answer to her question to be 'yes'. "...Why was everyone so mad at me about giving Thunder my mouse? We... We are- We all USED to be friends, weren't we?" Sealpaw did not expect Wolfpack to be shy about details, and so she tucked her limbs under herself to wait for his answer.

She needed to know. She needed to understand.

❆┙

*•.¸❆

─WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW─

❆¸.•*

• 
  Sealpaw
  — Shadowclan Apprentice
  — She/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  — Grey, Rosetted Tabby With Blue Eyes And A Bobbed Tail.
  #4c66bf

 

[WOLFPACK]

AND I AM SORRY MY CONSCIENCE CALLED IN SICK AGAIN​

---

Well, this was new. He couldn't say he was anyones first choice for company or guidance, outside of maybe Marbleshine. It didn't bother him though, when Sealpaw approached and began nervously asking questions about what had happened back across the thunderpath. Only left him a little curious as to why she was asking him of all cats when she'd never shown an interest in speaking to him before.

"You were.' he confirmed, because even if he hadn't lived there long enough to see those days for himself he couldn't deny that at some point, that had been the truth. " But when that friendship starts to threaten your own survival, it can't be sustained.

Things would have to change-- and those that refused to out of some warped sense of 'loyalty' deserved whatever it was they got.

"Shadowclan remembers what it's like to starve, and that Thunderclan would have let it happen." he answered,mismatched eyes of blue and gold regarding the girl for a moment. "Nobody's explained it to you yet?" he asked, eyes narrowing slightly. A mistake, surely. It'd be stupid to let the next generation forget what the weakness of other cats could lead to.

"You kits were given priority with food so you didn't feel the worst of it, but the reality is that everyone was slowly starving to death. Your friends. Your family. They were all growing weaker with each passing day."

It was a grim tale to recount to a child, but an important one as well. Most of the kits had been fairly sheltered from the famine, offering up whatever morsels their parents could find while they themselves went to bed hungry.

"All because the cats in charge couldn't - or wouldn't- do their jobs." Fray may have gotten the excuse of being ill, but for Hawthorne? He never should have been heir if he was going to crumble the moment something difficult reared up to meet him. " They let the colony overhunt the land and refused to organize or expand hunting grounds- so Sable stepped in. Said that someone else should be in charge instead."

He paused, tail giving a lazy flick beside him as he let it all sink in. It was a lot of information, but she was a paw now, old enough to understand.

"The cats that became Thunderclan didn't like that. They considered it a betrayal and wanted everything to stay exactly as it was even though they were slowly dying. That's what caused the battle that tore the colony in two. Sable led his cats against Hawthorned in an attempt to gain control and save what was left, but..."

He shrugged, knowing it ended.

How different things might have been if they'd won that night. If Sable had managed to keep the group together and simply moved them somewhere better. If Hawthorne and his cats hadn't been so damn stubborn in keeping things exactly as they were out of some twisted moral obligation.

"So you understand now, right Sealpaw? That giving Thunderclan prey is like slapping your clanmates across the face?" he asked, brow quirking expectantly."Or spitting on the graves of everyone who fought that day and died so that you didn't have to go hungry like they did."
​

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shadowclan deputy - male - a large, monochrome chimera with mismatched eyes and several scars​

​

 

[Sealpaw]

┍❆

She listened quietly, paws shuffling uncomfortably in place despite knowing that she was the one who had asked for an explanation in the first place. How could a friendship threaten such a thing as one's very life? Why? Her mouth opens to voice the question but it snaps shut with a frown as the deputy mentioned the colony.

As Wolfpack starts to explain Sealpaw sees the signs now clear as day, as if looking at it clearly for the first time in her short life. Looking back on the final days of the colony, Leopard had done her absolute best to keep Sealpaw fed and sheltered from the struggles they all had. Even the smallest scrap of prey was pushed her way regardless of whether she was hungry at the time or not, arguments over prey she'd witnessed as a much younger kit were waved away as petty squabbles or something only adults needed to worry themselves over. She had been blissfully unaware of just how dire things had been.

A soft shake of the head is given in response to the speckled warrior's question. "No... My mam- ...Leopard always told me everything was fine if I asked."

She wished her mother had just been honest about the struggles of the colony. She was old enough to understand now, surely she would have understood back then? Perhaps if she had Sealpaw wouldn't have found herself struggling as much as she was to adapt to this new way of living. ...Maybe Leopard would still be alive, even. It was an uncomfortable thought to have about her own mother and she pushed it away just as quickly as it'd come.

"I remember he and Hawthorne were supposed to duel..." Blue eyes caught Wolfpack's gaze, nodding hesitantly. "But I guess it was too late for just that to fix it."

If only Sablestar had won the duel that never was, would it be any different from how things were now? Would Thunderflash have looked at her with encouragement for her first catch rather than sadness and a whispered warning? Would Flamerunner and Marbleshine look at her with joy instead of pity when they thought she wasn't paying attention?

"I didn't mean it-!" The defensive protest is out of her mouth before she can even stop herself and Sealpaw looks down with ears flat to her skull at her paws. "...I'm sorry... I know Fleapaw and Jadethorn's mad at me, so you must be since you were there too."

She wondered if Leopard was mad at her as well, from wherever she was watching or if she even was.

❆┙

*•.¸❆

─WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW─

❆¸.•*

• 
  Sealpaw
  — Shadowclan Apprentice
  — She/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  — Grey, Rosetted Tabby With Blue Eyes And A Bobbed Tail.
  #4c66bf

 

[WOLFPACK]

AND I AM SORRY MY CONSCIENCE CALLED IN SICK AGAIN​

---

"...I'm sorry... I know Fleapaw and Jadethorn's mad at me, so you must be since you were there too."

"Mad's a strong word. More annoyed, but it's not your fault nobody's set you straight about things. Marlbleshine probably thought it was a kindness." he decided, able to see the shecat wanting to protect her new charge from the grim truth. "But what I, or Jadethorn, or anyone else thinks doesn't matter."

Too many cats cared too deeply about how they were seen by those around them. Unnecessary stress, in his opinion.

"What matters is that you're still alive to learn from your mistake. If you're smart, you'll do better next time. Some cats aren't lucky enough to get that chance."

It was the best advice he could offer her. Sealpaws blunder had been minor enough that she didn't have to worry about any permanent side effects. "Besides," he added after a moment, considering the apprentice, "Opinions change. You'll have chances to sway them back to your side if you're patient."

Opportunity always came around eventually. Sealpaw just had to learn to identify and grasp it.
​

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shadowclan deputy - male - a large, monochrome chimera with mismatched eyes and several scars​

​

 

[Sealpaw]

┍❆

Sealpaw allowed herself to give a small nod in response. "...I think Marbleshine didn't know why at first, either." She had been as confused and bewildered as Sealpaw that night. It had been a large part of why Sealpaw felt she'd found herself dangling from the molly's jaws by the scruff; two cats, like so many others, who had suddenly found their world turned upside down with seemingly no rhyme or reason to it all.

'But what I, or Jadethorn, or anyone else thinks doesn't matter.'

She found that she appreciated Wolfpack talking to her like she was another adult and not the bumbling apprentice that she was. Like he was really listening and not just trying to brush aside her questions or dance around the subject at hand. Sealpaw had made a mistake, that much she could understand now at least. She did not intend to repeat it anytime soon if at all.

"I-I will..!" It's a promise, then. More for herself than Wolfpack. "I'll do better next time!"

It was like a weight she hadn't even known was there had suddenly been lifted from her shoulders, Sealpaw felt just that tiniest bit lighter for it. She had context for it all now. Could connect the dots from then to just a few days before when the patrol had crossed the thunderpath and why it had ended as terribly as it had. The past couldn't be changed, but like Wolfpack said opinions could. She wasn't sure if she wanted to try and extend the proverbial olive branch Fleapaw's way just yet, but for now that piece of information was neatly tucked away in the back of her mind.

"Thank you," Rising to her paws once more, Sealpaw stepped forward to gently headbutt the tom's muddy shoulder. "For talking to me like I'm a grownup..."

❆┙

*•.¸❆

─WAVING THROUGH A WINDOW─

❆¸.•*

• 
  Sealpaw
  — Shadowclan Apprentice
  — She/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  — Grey, Rosetted Tabby With Blue Eyes And A Bobbed Tail.
  #4c66bf

 

[WOLFPACK]

AND I AM SORRY MY CONSCIENCE CALLED IN SICK AGAIN​

---

Wolfpack hummed, not surprised to hear that. As well-meaning as she often was, Marbleshine wasn't exactly submerged in the politics of things. More than once he'd found himself wondering why she'd chosen to follow Sable when her morals seemed so much more aligned with what Juniperstar and her cats were trying to preach, but she'd done well in showing her loyalty despite her apparent differences from her clanmates, and he doubted her morals would make a traitor of her now that she had so many attachments here.

"I-I will..! I'll do better next time!"

He nodded, her enthusiasm promising. A willingness to adapt was among the most important skills a cat could have in life, and with patience and determination, there was usually a way to get what you wanted.

""I believe you." he replied, tone steady in it's confidence. "And I don't doubt that it's hard, having to draw lines between yourself and cats that you once saw as friends." Because Wolf didn't have to experience a broken limb to know it was painful. "In those moments, just try and remember what's important to you now. As long as you stay focused on that, it makes it easier to push through the hard stuff."

Or at least, that was Deputys experience. While the mottled tomcat made himself and his enjoyment a priority in life, not everything could be sunshine and daisies all the time. Sometimes you had to make hard choices, or do things you wouldn't typically do– but it was often easier to make those choices and do those things when the goal was something deemed 'worth it'. Sealpaw might have an easier time stopping and thinking if she considered how her actions and words might affect that cats she holds dearest. And it helped that she understood better now just why the clans were separated to begin with,

He wasn't expecting the sudden touch of gratitude, the briefest moment of surprise flickering across his features before he breathed out a quiet chuckle. Marble must be rubbing off on her. he thought to himself, amused. "Yeah, well– I was never all that good at babytalk anyways." he replied with a smirk. He knew what she meant, though. Most cats would have minced words and padded things to avoid 'troubling a childs mind', but Wolfpack didn't see the point in sparing her the truth, not when it was so heavily entwined in Shadowclans everything.

"Besides; if your old enough to catch your own prey and sit in on meetings discussing our clan drama, your old enough to get a straight answer to your questions. " he reasoned, which really was the truth of it for him.

The harsh reality was that Sealpaw was now old enough to witness and experience all the abrupt horrors life had to throw at a person. Tomorrow, she could witness a fox tear a clanmate apart right in front of her, or be forced to fight for her very life on a border patrol stopped by rogues. If the world deemed her ready for that, then Wolfpack figured she was old enough to know a little about clan politics- especially when they'd gotten her clawed and screamed at by the cats she thought were her allies.
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shadowclan deputy - male - a large, monochrome chimera with mismatched eyes and several scars​

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