Territory would you fall in love with me again ⋆˙⟡ — juniperstar

[Graybird]

To him Hawthorne-Thornstar-was someone worth admiring for his optimism and good nature, his insistence on doing a kindness when possible, but he was not someone Gray was close to. The blue tabby was not especially close to anyone the more he thought on it, he had his brother though they didn't have the sort of kinship one might expect of siblings and he also had Juniper despite how bitter the taste of her presence was in the aftermath of their parting. Somehow he never resented her decision to leave him, never felt a coldness when she picked Sable over him; it was strange in a way, part of him wondered why she continued to fill him with warmth when she was near even if that warmth sometimes burned him with the memory, the reminder of what once was and what could have been. A tiny part of him longed to rekindle that connection in wake of circumstances, but the more rational and caring part of him knew it would only hurt the chocolate tabby if he sought to pursue so soon when wounds were fresh and even still he felt unworthy in a way.

There was a reason it was not he and instead Sable at their side for so long, there was a reason he had been left alone. How could he offer the same heart a second time without knowing of its faults? Its wretched flaws? Gray sighed softly, the cobweb at his throat and chest adhesive and irritating as he moved, every step felt like a burden, every paw placed firmly on the ground a gift. He longed for the days of youth where he thought he understood his place in the world as more than a tuxedo's shadow, but even know he only wanted it to be alongside her; circumstances be damned. That his affections rose above mere infatuation was a struggle, Gray wondered what it might be like to move on and find another to build a nest with, another body to curl up next to when nights grew cold but try as he might a world where he did not walk alongside their new leader was not a world he cared for. He would just let his heart keep breaking, it was already in pieces anyways, what was another chip or two?

The blue tom sought he out swiftly on the next night, moon high and world alight in an eerie and ethereal glow, the forest basking in stars, it was not hard to locate the other, perched just at the edge of their new camp with head tilted up; did they dream of better things, long for the friend cut down so coldly before her eyes, or was she wishing for Sable in a way that made his chest tighten in unease; after everything, he hoped it was not that.
"You should be sleeping." He says, padding forward with the faintest limp, under Serpentberry's careful eyes he was healing fine but he was still waiting for the dismissal from rest that would let him explore their new territory. "She will have your hide and mine if I don't ensure you do." She being said previously mentioned Medicine Cat.

That girl is like an architect

& I am just the new invention.

• 

  GRAY

  
  — Warrior ThunderClan
  — He/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  — SH Gray Tabby with holly green eyes.
  #82847e
  

 

[juniperstar]

juniper

there is a fundamental truth within the strength of connection- the idea that your relationships will form you and become you, regardless of their ending, their meaning or their depth. while they are never fully removed, the way that their absence diminishes their touch feels like losing them wholly... what impact could the dead have, compared to the physical press of living paws against flesh? fear says that distance will severe what thin tether remains and so the best way to keep them from unraveling is to never put it to rest... do not forget... do not dream it into fiction... the moment it becomes a story it's no longer lived.

they blink as they pupils track from one star to the next, watching the way they wink in and out of focus in carefully coded messages. was it approval in those glimmers? warnings? they are resolute in their silence.

so hungry to hear them... but it isn't their voices that whisper to her. the fur along their nape ruffles with surprise, drawing away from their feverish genuflection to meet him half way. his warning is as diluted as his pelt, half as intense as it suggests itself to be... their touch is ginger, reaching to butt their head up under his chin in greeting, "I don't have to be faster than her I just have to be faster than you," she murmurs with a stubborn purr.

they draw away, gaze trailing the padded bandages of a body still recovering. a sacrifice he'd made willingly... another bloody vessel that had served as their shield without their wanting. "Stay with me?" they had no right to ask... but his company already warms a frost-bitten chill at the edge of their feelings. "Promise I'll protect you if Serpentberry finds us," the chocolate tabby pulls a light-hearted smile onto their face, seafoam dancing towards the camp conspiratorially.

they adjust to sit beside him, tail whisking back and forth a few times before settling close against their own side, "Does it still hurt," the spotted cat offers him a very quick glance, "We can move somewhere warmer if it helps... I just wanted some fresh air... and some quiet."

there had been enough of both, really... too much quiet. a haunting silence. not even the bugs chirped their nightly song. but the bid not to lose him to his discomfort hurries her offers, stumbling through dialogue as if it would be ended with one mistake.

──✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮

• juniperstar leader of thunderclan nine lives remain

  ignore me

 

[Graybird]

I just have to be faster than you. Cheeky. He smiles despite himself at that, "Wouldn't be hard." He moved with enough sluggishness at the moment that he was easy enough prey for even the just recently pregnant medicine cat to hunt down and pulverize. Comical to survive a battle only to be decimated by such a sharp sighted molly who hobbled with her steps still. The gray tom's head lifts at the gentle nudge under his chin and he lowers it to touch his cold nose to her cheek in friendly greeting; drawn to the warmth and comforting familiarity he had no right to seek out.
Stay with me? Gray is already stretching his legs out as he begins to trot closer, hesitating before sitting down, her question has him silent for a moment, considering the concern offered with ears flattened to his head as he moves to settle down fully onto the ground with legs tucked under himself, "It hurts fine enough. A nice reminder I'm still here." For you. Gray's holly green gaze drifts to the side idly, his shoulders hunched into his pelt until he was a lump of slate-colored fur; limbless, immobile. After a moment of silence that perhaps stretched too long he lit his eye flicker upward, the pinpricks of white in the bisque and dark expanse above blinked in and out in soft ambience, if he had not seen the stars wreath corpses to draw their souls upward in the battle's aftermath he would not have believed for a second that any of it had been true. But it was wasn't it? The dead existed still, not only in hearts but in starry reflections, shimmering lights hanging high above their heads to cast down their glow upon the world. He imagines such a place was peaceful, no fighting, no more trivial worries or longstanding heartache, when you were dead what was there to concern yourself with?
"You'd look terrible in them." He said suddenly, head dropping, "All glitter and sparkling, a bit gaudy if you ask me. So you should spare yourself the embarrassment of drenching yourself inn them too early - I think the name is fine though. Suits you." Bright, incandescent, she could wear it on her name all she wished, but he would rather they not adorn their coat with them anytime soon. Gray bites back another question, wants to know what it was like to have nine lives, nine chances, but he worries it might sound bitter from someone who had only one.

That girl is like an architect

& I am just the new invention.

• 

  GRAY

  
  — Warrior ThunderClan
  — He/They
  "SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  — SH Gray Tabby with holly green eyes.
  #82847e
  

 

[juniperstar]

juniper

her lips pull tight in a half-hearted smile, relieved by his willingness to join her in what little humor they could afford. if it were a true threat, his injuries would make him a burden to keep afloat... would she still try? her paw had not stilled in any effort to preserve Thornstar's life but the circumstances- did they matter? would it being Serpentberry instead she stared down change her instinct to flee rather than fight? the thoughts swirl, a tumultuous leeching keen on drawing up her biggest fears. another betrayal to endure... just as close. just as unexpected.

their whiskers twitch, drawn to focus away from the biting at her ears to listen for his status. his health was important as ever... another thread that had not yet been snipped clean of her. how many more until the whole thing came undone? unraveled.. spilled into graceless tangles of yarn. to consider pain a blessing. . . "Hmm," they hum in a quiet agreement, ginger in their willingness to lean against him for fear of applying pressure he shouldn't endure in such a state. "I'm glad you are." the true could be said of any of their clan-mates... but there is an undeniable depth to this confession that does not match such a vaguely idealistic yearning to avoid death. a sort of need that separates him.

the quiet draws on, lightened by the company is now holds. the comfort of a silence shared; it is less of a isolating pressure. a blanket warm and coaxing. he looks inviting... roosted like a dove on a branch... and the practiced movements of folding herself neatly to lay next to him take no effort or thinking at all. a habit formed through seasons of shared starlight. what exhaustion he had prodded at finds her quickly, as if it had only been waiting for an invitation to show itself- their chin rests on their paw, muzzle tilted to keep their nose warm amongst what furs of his ruffle against the chill.

he smells like crushed flowers and dew-soaked webbing.

"You'd look terrible in them." their brows raise in quiet question, peering up at him through their lashes skeptically. In what? Cobwebs and poultices? I don't think I can avoid that, Gray. she does not get the chance to tease him about it, interrupted by the thoughtful monologue of someone pressed against the possibility of another loss. it's an exposed underbelly he will not acknowledge with much sincerity, depositing the thought as a joke that holds just as much truth and fear as it does amusement. gaudy... the speckled she-cat thinks of chocolate stripes dusted by aster. how bright his smile looked when illuminated by stars.

their gaze drops to the frosty earth, returned to the idea of names. there were so many that were not lucky enough to have it picked for them by someone who had adored them. they would be left with her... and what limited creativity she could scrape together to name them. "Suits you." she scoffs, politely but lets the compliment sit there for a moment.

"I don't have any plans to decorate myself in stars anytime soon... and you better not either," she murmurs, stifling a yawn. "You'll need a name too." she closes her eyes in contented contemplation, finding some place between wakefulness and dozing- a struggle fought to maintain the conversation she has been invited to. "You're so soft. . ." the ideas form in fractured mutterings, never a thought fully formed and articulated. "Warm . . ."

she draws in a deep breath, tickled by the proximity of his pelt to her nose- it's enough to reminder her of herself, biting back a sneeze. "You look like a rock," she teases, lifting her head with a lazed blink, "With your feet tucked up under you like that... Is Graystone a good enough option?"

──✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮

• juniperstar leader of thunderclan nine lives remain

  ignore me