TW: Sensitive Content Private YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HOLD ME UP [ cinderpaw ]

[barbie]

Tick Tock and Ratfish are hungry - the duo made sure Barbie knew as much before she left for the day. The mice she gave them the night prior could only hold them over for so long, she knew, but to be woken up by their crying... Ugh. This is all apart of the Rustclaws, she supposes; they're a community helping one another out. She didn't have to take the duo under her wing, but she did, and now they're her responsibility.

Walking to the SkyClan border takes a portion of the day, and by the time she reaches it, she's tired and aching. Her own stomach rumbles incomprehensibly, and she recalls that her meal was given to someone else. It wasn't a selfless act, not entirely. She just... doesn't like to see others starving. Maybe in some way it was a means of garnering Nonna's attention. A, "Look at me, I'm doing good things!" Whatever it was, it's left a gnarly waste in her stomach, and she almost worries that whatever Cinderpaw brings her may not even make it home.

But for Ratfish... for Tick Tock... she will just have to hold her own, for a little longer yet.

The loose nettle underpaw shifts ahead, the snow atop it crunching with new pawsteps. Alone. Barbie stands a little taller, trying to ignore the pang in her stomach. She introduces a gentle light to her gaze and a slight smile, her partially bare tail waving towards Cinderpaw as he approaches. "There you are!" She cheers, and it's sincere in some ways, falsified in many more. "I thought I would have to wait for the moon to get here before I got to see you...!" She continues with the same, overly sweet tone.

 

[cinderpaw. cinderpaw.]

Cinderpaw approached the border, leaving Cherrydawn behind again. But... He had to make his decision. Her words rung in his head- and he decided with a deep breath-

Boy, Barbie was really pretty today. "Hi, Barbie," he greeted with a purr, his pink gaze falling into her gaze with a gentle smile along his features. The sun glistened off the blue and cream of her pelt- and, no, no cinderpaw! You need to focus! Even if the drawl of her voice made him lean closer. He shook his head, and then, he looked away, biting his bottom lip with nervousness as his fluffy tail curled over his toes.

"I um.. we need to talk," he said lowly, digging toes into the snow beneath his tail, covering the nervous act as his ears pressed into the helm of his skull. His heart thudded against the cage of his chest, and the pang of his chest wasn't as loud as the echoes of Cherrydawns voice. He had to choose! He had to focus!

"I um... I think, I.. well," he cleared his throat, taking a deep breath. "I.. can't keep bringing you food, Barbie... I'm getting in trouble, and maybe, you can just join Skyclan. Yeah, we- I can help you better, and... You won't go hungry. Not.. not anymore." He said, gaze finally leveling to hers, eyes widening in a puppy like fashion.

cinderpaw - 11 moons - skyclan apprentice - mentored by cherry

 

[barbie]

He finds her with a smile, and a purr, and Barbie easily tips over the so-called 'border' to greet him a little more informally. She wouldn't admit it to his face, but the way Cinderpaw looks at her does make her feel... warm. Appreciated, in a way. She doesn't think herself beautiful, not in the traditional sort of sense. She would prefer compliments over her skills and strategy over appearance. But... when it comes to the SkyClanner, she supposes she can make an exception. She leans towards him, moving to brush her cheek against his, when he shakes his head and turns away.

The snow is cold beneath them, and it crawls slowly up her frame. "We need to talk."

He stammers and freezes, uncertainty clawing at his frame. Someone's set him up for this - there is no way after all this time he's suddenly... what, grown a conscience? Decided that helping her eat is some faux pas? Her gaze flicks around to the surrounding pines, as if she could discern any body against the snowy landscape. He suggests she moves into SkyClan, with him. That she won't go hungry. But... but...

He looks at her, eyes wide and hopeful.

She looks at him, as if he's slaughtered her whole family in front of her. He may as well have.

"You're getting in trouble?" she leans away from him, teeth bared with confusion and frustration. "I'll be in real trouble, Cin. I've got lives dependin' on me back home, y'know. Kits that are like siblings to me, waiting for me to come back with - with whatever I can. You can't be serious about this right now...!" Barbie growls, and her stomach churns with the same indignation. Her claws unsheathe into the ground, but she gives him another chance, "You can't just... make this decision without talking with me first. This is so pathetic of you...!"

 

[cinderpaw. cinderpaw.]

The way she greets him, touches him- it makes him wonder what he was thinking. But he still pulls away. His gaze that met hers- the pain twisted his own heart and the albino swallows hard. "I-" but he can't speak, barbies growls over his, and for the first time, Cinder loses his grounding. He could run away with her, leave Skyclan now- but... He thinks about his aunt. He thinks about Flowercloud, his father, Cherrydawn.

"It wasn't fair of me to ask that ya come along with me... But... I can't.. our food is running low too Barbie, and, we just got more mouths to feed..." His voice is barely audible, but loud enough for her to hear. He can't look at her. "I'm... Going to be a warrior soon, I'm... Going, I'll... I'll figure it out, but, I'm going, I can't. Barbie I can't! I have to follow the rules! My dad's dead, and I can't die because I'm putting myself at risk by being alone!" The words burn like flames flickering, threatening to choke his breath. "I'm... Sorry. Let me, let me think. I'll, figure something out, but right now I can't do anything for you! I can't even do anything for my clan..."

It really is pathetic, the way he raised his voice at her, pulls a paw over his head as if she is stressing him out, rather than really understanding the stress she's under. He does get it, but he has Almondpaw back at home too. He has siblings, and aunts, and cousins- and he needs to focus... Right?

cinderpaw - 11 moons - skyclan apprentice - mentored by cherry

 

[barbie]

She can't hear him. He won't see her.

Look at me. Her blood is rushing in her ears. He is talking, endlessly, about this, about that - his responsibilities will be doubling, surely. Maybe tripling. She doesn't know how this Clan thing works, after all. Maybe warriorhood is an endless vacation from strife and trouble. Maybe he's leaving her, after this long of being by her side.

Barbie blinks. He apologizes. She can make it out by the way his lips tremble beneath the weight of the words.

But you don't mean it, do you?

If he were sorry, this would've never been a conversation. Maybe they would've confessed some kind of affection, and their 'love' or whatever it was could've forever transcended these borders. She could've provided for him and his stupid, foolish Clan, too! If he - if they all - just gave her a few moons after leafbare, she could've been muscle, she could've been claws. These other Clans haven't a single idea what she's capable of. Cinderpaw doesn't have an idea of what she's capable of.

Barbie acts before she thinks. She's still close, and he leans away, exposing his throat. Her fangs sink right into the meat of it, and she bites down, hard, spitting a muffled scream as she shoves him over. her claws pierce and scrape at whatever skin she can reach, plucking out clumps of pale, nearly translucent fur. Red ribbons of life pour from him in far too many ways to count... but do not end his life. Not yet, Anyways. Barbie coughs on the blood and rips away from him, her own pelt littered with half-hearted scrapes from the scuffle.

She looks at him, someone she could've learned to love and appreciate - someone who was trying to love and appreciate her...

Dying. In the snow. Because of her.

Tears crest her eyes. She can't even discern him from the scenery. All she sees is red.

"I - I -," she spits blood onto the ground. "I'm -" sorry? She can't be. She isn't. He's dying in front of her, from her very teeth and claws - she can't be sorry now. Neither can he.

Barbie turns and makes the long trek home.

 

[cinderpaw. cinderpaw.]

He didn't know if he'd ever encountered such pain before. Seering pain, that ripped through his throat. He didn't - his paws moved without thinking, nothing deep, nothing scary, the blood that spilled on the ground, that broke the surface of the untouched snow was mostly his. Claws that embedded in her skin was just him trying to get her to listen. To stop.

He couldn't look at her... Because if he looked, even now, it was pain, more pain then the slicing of his flesh. She could hurt him over and over, it wouldn't change that the way her gaze felt broken hurt him more than the way her claws roughly pressed against his pelt.

Words that struggled and bubbled from his throat. He remembered being small, digging in the nursery. Digging, his paws were so quick. He should be named Cinderbreeze. Because he was quick, he had thought- spent his entire life imagining his warrior name, imagining his next steps.

Would he ever realize his steps would end so soon?

His paws grip her side limply, but he can't really fight her off. If he felt his claws pierce her, it hurt him. As she dug in her rage, Cinderpaw succumbed to his own form of trauma. He deserved it, she was doing this for a reason. She was protecting herself.

I'm sorry, the words burned his throat, repeated, repeated over and over again as she tore into him like a chew toy. He wasn't even sure if they were actually audible. But finally, she steps back as his body limply lays in the ground that should've been snow, yet did not portray a good colour of such snow. She spoke, before turning.

And the selfish, cruel part of him reached a shaky limbs out, barely lidded pink eyes watching as she turned to walk away. "wait.... I don't..." But shes gone. She's gone before he can rasp out the words. "I'm.. sorry, I don't mean it- don't... Leave me alone..."

cinderpaw - 11 moons - skyclan apprentice - mentored by cherry