It is always quiet when he dips his head into his father's den to visit, but never moreso than it is now. The silence this time is overwhelming, suffocating, he knows before he even reaches the tom what he will find and it still does not soften the blow of it.
"Father?" He asks, head lowering near the battered and motionless brown tabby head resting atop his paws - he could almost be sleeping if not for the stillness of his chest and the lack of movement from long curled whiskers where breath once exhaled to make them sway like branches. Hawthorne expects no answer but his voice rises again, softer, almost childish in its tone, "Father?" More crushing than the sorrow, more agonizing than even the loss, was the wretched and horrid relief that flooded his system - that he should be happy the older tom was gone was not simply for his peace but for Hawthorne's own and it is a selfish knot that coils in his stomach like a snake rising to strike. The first sob is almost inaudible, the second a gasp for air he feels nothing but guilt for taking in. The brown tom allows himself to collapse alongside the still, cold form, nestled close like he was a kit again in the cold leafbare being regaled with tales of far away places he had always once hoped to see himself. For the time being he lets himself feel the unbearably crushing weight now descending on him, the heartbreak and the worry that has gnawed his gut for moons now. It was over and yet it had also only just begun.
He does not know how long he lays curled there alongside the body that once held such an indomitable spirit, but eventually he rises, a final nudge to the tom's face in farewell where he spots the dappling of red around his maw from his last meal - at the very least he died in what comfort could be given and it is all he can ask.
Hawthorne staggers from the den reeking of death, limbs stiff from his long period of time lying motionless and he sees Serpent looking at him immediately; the sight of his mate brings a fresh wave of emotions and he wanders over to tuck his head into the side of her neck. "He's gone." ,the lynx point whispers softly, as if trying to convince himself but he can not linger in his own grief for long, his weakness so prominently on display when he must now lead as he was meant to. He pulls away from the spotted tortie pelt to move to the flat rocks before the trees, scaling them in one swift bound, "My fellow colony cats, my father is gone. Passed at last peacefully in his sleep. I ask any able to help me in burying him within his den beneath the tree, we will say farewell tonight and begin anew tomorrow. Leafbare comes and with it more struggles but we will hold fast."
OOC: @serpent mention!