Private ANTHEMS FOR A SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD GIRL ౨ৎ meadow

[nutmeg ♡]

Twelve moons ago, it was just Nutmeg and her brother against the world; sure they had their mother, but with a strained relationship, they stuck more with each other. Ten moons ago, Nutmeg lost the one cat that kept her going. Just up and gone one day, with a scent trail leading far, far away from the barn... And oh, how she had tried to follow as long as she could, not wanting to believe that her brother had just abandoned her... But he did, and Nutmeg was alone for the first time in her life. Five moons later, her mother gives birth to another litter. A tiny, scrappy little tortoiseshell... But she was gorgeous, she was her little sister. Her mother had named her Meadow, and all of the sudden, her life had purpose again.

Nutmeg had sworn to herself, to the shooting stars above her, to her brother, far far away, that she wouldn't let the same lack of love effect her. She'd protect Meadow, physically, emotionally. She'd take all the blows needed to make sure her sister would grow up knowing she was loved. It's why she approaches today despite the ear gnawing shes bound to get by her mother when she returns. She had lead Meadow away, quick enough to not stop and chat with her. Though they're on bad terms, she knows her mother wouldn't complain about the free babysitting job that Nutmeg comes around and does for her. It's not a chore cause I love them, but it certainly seems like a chore to their mother...

She glances down to the kitten that follows her. In a way, she sees herself. She sees her brother, same eyes. Same red in his fur. She does not see her mother, does not see the harsh cruelty in Meadows eyes as hers. They are wide, and curious, and full of life. They are not dull. She clears her throat, albeit a little awkwardly, as she scales over a nearby fencepost. It's low enough that Meadow could hop over one of the bars connected to the post, but she peers over curiously. "Wanna try n' get up here, buttercup?" she knows her sister could, she knows shes capable of doing so, but she cannot help but worry herself over the what ifs... What if she fell? What if her claws dislodge from the wood and she falls backwards? She blinks with an almost-twisting frown.

If her sister got up, then Nutmeg would scooch over, making a seat for her. Before them lay a vast expanse of rolling land, covered in snow from leafbares spoils. A pretty sight. She thinks Meadow'll enjoy it.

@Meadowkit

 

[Meadowpaw]

Shaking off all those heavy chains
Now I will find my own way

.

Most litters had at least two—sometimes even three kits. But not her, Meadow was the only kit of her litter. But she had a mother, an older sister and an absent brother that made up her closest family. But still, Meadow couldn't help but feel lonely sometimes. Her mother never talked about the brother she never knew, and she knew better than to ask. It was a topic wrapped in silence, one that Meadow never fully understood.

Despite not having any siblings her age, Meadow had always found a way to make do. There were other kits in the barn near her age. They would chase each other out across the wide fields and go on adventures. It made her sad to watch them, but it also gave her hope that one day she would be free to do the same.

But when Nugmeg was around, things were different. There was an openness that Meadow never had with their mother. She didn't have to hide how she was feeling or worry about making her mad. Nugmeg was like when the fields were green. She never made Meadow feel like she was too much, not ever. Leafbare was more bearable with her around.

Meadow was not a spring hare, but she felt like one, bouncing in her elder sister's steps. Her paws tripped over themselves in excitement, but that didn't slow her down. When they reached the fence, Meadow's sized up the post. Then, she crouches, wriggling her haunches, building up to it.

When she jumps, her body catches halfway over, rear legs dangling. Its uncomfortable, wood digging painfully into her ribs, claws scraping at the wood for traction. Meadow knows she can do it on her own, she doesn't need help, but if it's given she wouldn't turn her nose up at it.

After a few heartbeats, Meadow clambers up and crouches beside her sister with a satisfied huff. "What are we doin' up here, Meggie?" She asks, but then her gaze drifts upward. "Oh, wow..." Green eyes stretched wide, soaking in the view. It seemed to stretch on forever, painted in the dull colors of leafbare.

Meadow tried to imagine how far it went—but her head couldn't wrap around it. Felt strange to know there was a larger world outside of the small one she lived in. Meadow turned to her sister, questions sprouting from her tongue. " It's so much! How far do you think it goes? What's even out there?"

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

6 MOONS

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BARNCAT

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bio

 

[nutmeg ♡]

When Meadow scrabbles to get up, she quickly tries to offer a helping hand, her heart skipping a near beat before Meadow happily settles besides her. What're we doing up here, Meggie? An amused huff leaves her, her tail flicking behind her. It seems she's answered her own question, but just the spark of interest in her sisters eyes is enough to bring a gentle grin to her lips. "Just lookin," she murmurs, soft. She does not want this moment to end, but unfortunately, each passing second is fleeting. She tries her hardest to commit it to memory anyways. Who knows when she'll get time like this again?

"It goes for miles, and miles, and so very, very far away." shes briefly taken back to that day, where she was trying anything to keep the remnants of what was alive. Walking until her pawpads bled, searching for something that, in the end, never wanted to be found. Thats what she found out there... "But it's pretty when its newleaf, its full of tall, green grass and plenty of space to run... Once the snow melts," and maybe subsequently, when the ice that protects the hole in her heart does too, "i'll take you out on an adventure. Where Ma' can't find us." Meadow was born in the tail-end of greenleaf, did not know the wonders of Nutmegs favorite season, where the warmth was not too warm, and the sun was in its normal spot each day and night, never setting too early, never rising too late. She lets out a small sigh, and then leans down to accentuate her promise by pressing her cheek against her sisters, and maybe, again, just maybe, she'll find something different out there.

Its silent, again, except for the breeze that sweeps through the land, gently picking up snow, swirling it with it. "You should see the storm clouds in newleaf. This is one of the best spots to look at them." another reason why its her favorite season, tall, gray clouds and looming static in the air, mist that hits your face as you run like the wind. She sucks a breath in. What she wouldn't do to feel that alive again, and less like a stranger in her own life. "They go for as far as you can see, and they're tall." she shakes her head, then turns back to Meadow. "Race you to that rock over there?" she gestures slightly behind them, towards another corner of the fence a little bit away. She knows she'll end up letting Meadow win, but its still worth it in the end.

 

[Meadowpaw]

Shaking off all those heavy chains
Now I will find my own way

.

Meadow listened quietly, her jaw hanging open.

She tried to imagine it— The fields flowing green, covered in every kind of wildflower she had ever seen—and even some she hadn't. Purple ones, pink, red, blue, yellow—every color of the rainbow, all together, more than she could ever pick by herself. A place unclouded, far from the dimness and dust of the barn. All sunny and warm breezes, bees buzzing lazily as they took naps in bowls of pollen.

It sounded so perfect.

"Really? You promise?" She wriggled excitedly. Nutmeg was the best! Mama never did stuff like this with them. Meadow kind of wished she would… But she knew well enough that would never happen.

A loud purr rumbles in her chest. She looks up at her sister and squishes their faces together even more. Meadow couldn't wait to go adventuring with her. Oh, how she hoped the snow would melt soon.

"I really wanna go jump in the puddles again." She could talk to her sister all day, but Meadow knows they don't have that. There's not enough sun in the sky for them, but it's nice all the same. "Mama yelled at me last time I did so we might get in trouble, but it's really fun. You should do it with me next time, Meggie!"

When Nutmeg proposed a race, she didn't need to be asked twice. Her ears pricked, eyes flicking toward the rock before she turned back to her sister. "I'm gonna win again!" She hummed cheerfully, paws gripping the edge of the fence.

"Ready… set…—" The kit hopped down from the fence, plopping into a pile of snow, unharmed. "Last one there's a chicken butt!" Meadow giggled as she looked back at her sister, powder flying in her wake.

She bounded across through the snow, wind whipping through her whiskers, the ground sweeping beneath her paws.

This was what home felt like.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

6 MOONS

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BARNCAT

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SONG

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bio

 

[nutmeg ♡]

You promise? Nutmeg purrs softly as Meadow eagerly squishes her face against hers further, a low chuckle leaving her. "Course I promise." she mews, raising a paw to ruffle the top of Meadows head. To be out in those fields again, the thought of it hurts... But anything, anything for her, anything to feel better, anything for the light of her life. "As soon as its new-leaf, we'll go exploring." ten moons ago, he had disappeared in the same season. She tries her very best not to think about it despite the sudden dryness of her mouth, despite the fact that her tongue feels like ash. She tries to think more about why the season was her favorite instead of dwelling on the past.

She looks over when Meadow expresses her excitement for the puddles, and then a look of disappointment flashes across her face as her sister mentions their shared mother. "... Ma' won't yell at you this time." her voice is thick with some kind of emotion, her chest tight. "I promise you that, too. If she yells at you again..." her lips purse thin. What would she do? Nutmeg has already been practically disowned, her presence only really tolerated for the simple fact that she takes Meadow off of her paws so many times. And yet, it hurts, it hurts to know that someone so cruel continues to be so. She bites her tongue, jerking her head downwards from where she had stared off in to the distance. "Well... She won't, cause i'll be with you the next time, and we'll hop in as many puddles as you want, buttercup."

Her paws, slower than Meadows, deliberately carry her towards the rock, right behind her sister. And thats the spot where she prefers to be, anyways- its the spot that feels the most right, the spot where she could just observe. There is something healing in her to watch Meadow run around, carefree and happy... Even if their mom sucked; she wishes she could take her and run away, but she knows the safest spot in the barn is with her, knows that this is the only place that Meadow knows. Their mom may be shitty, may be horrible... But Nutmeg knows she's fierce, had seen it once before, had been the recipient at one point. She brushes the thought out of her mind as she realizes shes falling more and more behind with such a slow gait.

They'll be alright. One day, even if not soon, both of them will be alright, and both of them will have a good life. Even if I have to carve it in to existence with my own claws. A sigh of relief leaves her lips as she picks up the pace, a grin spreading across her face. "Oh, nooo, i'm losing! Whatever... Shall I... Do!" Nutmeg punctuates this by bounding forth, aiming to sweep Meadow off her paws and in to a grappling hug.