"I did try to help Adder, you know," he says. His claws dig into the dirt, frustration already clawing its way into him. "I thought I could… I don't know. Steer him right. I saw too much of myself in him. Things you…" he pauses, glancing at Pike. He knows Iciclepaw has grown close to him, but… "A loss you've been lucky enough not to know. Losing a kit– that's a wound that never heals. And if you let it fester, it will turn you into something ugly and angry. Adder let it fester."
A beat. He sighs, looking out of the mouth of the den at the camp. "What you said at that council meeting after the heist, Pike, you know that was wrong. To hold the death of our clanmates against us like some gotcha moment, speaking of allowing cats freedom, and whatever else you said– I don't believe that's the leader you are, or the leader you want to be– it certainly isn't the leader I've always believed you could be." He looks back at Pike again, expression firm, but not unkind. Tired, maybe, and sad that it's come to this. "None of us handled the things that happened that night particularly well, but even so– hearing our leader speak like that… was unsettling."
"But at the gathering…" his expression turns ugly again, like the mere thought of it is painful. "You handled that better. Demoting Adder was the right thing to do. He… he shouldn't have even gone to the gathering, he should've stayed here. With Wavesong. But like I said– it festers. It makes you cruel. It makes you push everything away so that you'll have less to lose. And I am sorry I could not protect you from his anger."
- ooc: -
