Territory DON'T TALK IF YOU WON'T MAKE IT WORTH IT!!

[MAREMANE]

Ever since Sass and Merry had their fight, Maremane has been … avoidant of Hollowmumble and the apprentices. Especially Meadowpaw, the betrayed expression that had struck across her face making Lucille's conscious twist. She hates it. She is justified, after all, because one of those toms were once a name held fondly on her mouth. Now, all she tastes is sour.

It makes her run more. Spending all that energy, anxiety cold on her breath. The grass whips past her, stinging carelessly across her shoulders and face. In this state, the sun's heat can barely catch her until she stops.

And she does stop after nearly bowling into the calico. Her run turns into an awkward hop, side-stepping @Meadowpaw as Maremane chokes back a gasp which thankfully doesn't emerge. It is hard not to feel like Meadowpaw is porcelain with her healing injuries and missing limb. Like the reckless bull that Maremane was would shatter the remaining three off.

Caught in an interaction, she pauses. Then, she offers, polite in a corporate way: "Hello."

 

[Meadowpaw]

Sitting in the dark waiting on the stars
Thinking through all the places that you've been

.

Since the fire, their lives had felt like tangled threads — overlapping, tanging into knots, splitting at the ends. When everything unraveled, it had brought out the best in some of them… and the worst in others.

She used to think so highly of the older barn cats. They were brave and kind and strong... everything she wanted to be. But now she wasn't so sure. She hadn't spoken to Merrystalk since arguing with him about the fight with Sassy. Not because she was angry or didn't understand why he acted the way he did, but because she didn't know what to say. Meadow didn't know how to fix things.

Before the fire, everything seemed simpler. She could always go to Nutmeg or Chicken or even Merrystalk, and they'd help her figure it out. She didn't want to burden her sister any more than she had to. So now, who did she turn to? They were supposed to be the ones with all the answers when everything went wrong. It wasn't fair to place that on them, she knew that now, but Meadowpaw couldn't help it. Was it too much to ask them to try even a little?

Maybe it wasn't her place to try and fix things. But whatever this was—whatever was happening to them—it felt like it was tearing them apart. At a time when they needed each other the most.

When I need them most.

She hopped forward, flowers tucked gently into the crook of her shoulder. Her eyes were downcast, too occupied with her thoughts for her to watch where she was going. But when someone nearly bowled into her, she stumbled backward onto her rump. The bundle tumbling from her jaws, scattering stems and petals across the ground.

Green eyes snapped up to the cat she'd nearly collided with, concern flashing across her face. "Oh sorry!" The calico freezes upon seeing Maremane.

Since the fight, Meadowpaw hadn't gotten a chance to speak with Maremane, not that she hadn't tried to. But it seemed like every time Meadow worked up the courage, she was nowhere to be found. "Oh uh… hello…" She mewed softly. The urge to turn around and flee in the other direction was strong, but there were things she wanted to ask. Now she had a chance to, if she could figure out how to do that without it evolving into another argument.

Her gaze dropped to the petals on the ground, but she didn't look away long, fearing that if she did, Maremane would vanish again. "Actually... um... I-I know you're probably busy, but could I ask a favor?" The apprentice swallows and then looks up at the she-cat with soft, hopeful eyes. "I can't ask anyone else and its not something I can do by myself anymore..."

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

8 MOONS

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WINDCLAN

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bio

 

[MAREMANE]

Petals scatter like tears, which Maremane scans Meadowpaw's face for, her gut twisting with anxiety. Her strictly etiquette expression falls as she takes in the mess that their almost-collision had resulted in. Meadowpaw has no reason to apologize, but she does. Maremane never knows how to deal with such kind cats. She scoops one of the flowers up, the stem almost bald of its colourful petals. At the very least, she owes the calico help in salvaging her bouquet. Her ears perk at the request, vision raising from the fallen flowers to Meadowpaw's hopeful gaze.

The selfish part of her hopes it is just recollecting the flowers. She prays it's not advice about another cat or helping make a brand new bouquet. Her excuse to leave is already being molded as she answers, short and tentative as if anything more than a word would be perceived as a sturdy lifeline: "Uh, sure?"

She's been trapped. Maremane can't possibly know what Meadowpaw will ask. The last time she'd really seen the apprentice was during Merrystalk and Sassafraschill's argument. During it, Maremane's focus had been inwards, even more so than towards the two bickering toms. She remembers the trust shattering in Meadowpaw's voice, but beyond that she had thought minimally of how it had affected her, or any of the others really.

 

[Meadowpaw]

Sitting in the dark waiting on the stars
Thinking through all the places that you've been

.

Meadowpaw fidgeted with the scattered petals, gently brushing them into a small, crumpled pile. Her paw hovered over one of the flattened blooms for a moment before she nudged it closer, as if tending to it might ease the nervous flutter in her chest.

When Maremane gave her answer—a branch not quite strong enough to lean on, but she would anyway. Meadowpaw hesitated but forced her eyes to meet Maremane's. "Could you come with me to the barn?"

"I have... something I want to do there and I did go with Hollowmumble and Chickpaw but…" She continued, faltering as her gaze slipped to the side. Then all that stuff with Merrystalk and Sassy happened, now she couldn't talk to either of them.

She shook her head and mustered a thin smile. "Usually I'd ask Meggie, but she's been busy so I can't ask her. Um but I think she would feel better if you came with me, Maremane." Her paws stilled, brushing idly over the petals she'd been fussing over.

Meadowpaw knew she was asking for more than help collecting flowers. She was asking Maremane to walk beside her—to fill a gap she hadn't planned on facing alone. The barn was a good walk from their camp and not exactly a place any of them seemed fond of returning to. Even so, it was important to Meadowpaw that she return eventually.

"Please?" Her scorched ears dipped slightly, bracing for an outright decline.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

8 MOONS

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WINDCLAN

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bio

 

[MAREMANE]

The sensible, kind cat would've accepted immediately. Considering she isn't doing anything important, and it was more emotional work to decline than just say yes and go with Meadowpaw, Maremane has an easy option.

Except she is Maremane, so she hesitates.

The barn brings back sour and painful memories, like layers of earth stacking on top, each section covering what was left of the good days there. First, it had been its destruction. Then, there had been The Argument. Maremane clenches her jaw at the reminder.

To her, the barn had been a roof over her head. To Meadowpaw, it was a graveyard. Maremane's mouth opens and closes soundlessly, trying to begin to decide. Her indelicate way of words suspends in the air, and she is unwilling to let them crush Meadowpaw.

"What..." she begins, suddenly intrigued by the hue of grass beneath her paws. Her heart twists and strangles itself. Meadowpaw's plea is working. "What d'you need to do there?"

Maremane hates how difficult it is for her to answer a simple request. She exhales. "I ain't been back there since..." It's obvious what she refers to, irate conversation over their ghost building. The melted beams and scorched ash flash behind her eyes. Her eyes finally flick up to Meadowpaw, trailing the jagged edges of her burnt ears. If she went alone, and something happened, she would be as guilty as a murderer.

"...I can come with you."

 

[Meadowpaw]

Sitting in the dark waiting on the stars
Thinking through all the places that you've been

.

When Maremane finally spoke, it pressed Meadowpaw to find her own courage. She blinked, lowering her gaze to her paws as they kneaded the soft earth.

"I want to leave some flowers." she said softly, her breath catching like a stem trembling in the wind. "But I also... I want to go for me." She swallowed, drawing in a slow breath. "I just have to see it again. I know that's not a good reason, sorry..." I want to say goodbye... And after what happened with Merry and Sassy, she hoped their bickering didn't stir more unrest there. Visiting the barn again seemed like the only way to lay the past to rest. It felt like the only way that she could begin to move forward, though she was scared to explain that after the way Merryheart reacted when she tried to talk to him. But if Maremane really needed a reason... she would.

Her gaze lifted, finding Maremane's, and though the other molly's silence spoke volumes, Meadowpaw understood. The heaviness between them was thicker than the smoke that had once choked the air.

She felt it too—the pain that wrapped around their barely healing hearts like ivy, tight and binding. The ash still seemed to catch in her lungs some mornings, and the edges of her wounds still tingled as though raw. A breeze tugged at her fur, brushing against the tips of her burned ears—a reminder not only to her, but to everyone who looked at her, what they went through. She wouldn't blame Maremane, or anyone if they couldn't stand to be near her because of that. Some days, she could barely stand to see herself.

When Maremane agreed, a relieved smile bloomed on her face. "O-oh really? T-thank you, Maremane!" She dipped her head to resume gathering her flowers, tucking the stems carefully into her fur. She glanced down at the small, battered blooms she had managed to collect, their edges crumpled and bruised. It wasn't Maremane's fault she hadn't been watching where she was going, but these wouldn't do...

"Um I was hoping to gather more than this." She added softly, peeking up tentatively at the golden molly. "Do you mind if we stop to pick some on the way?"

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

8 MOONS

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WINDCLAN

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SONG

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bio