Open Camp Don't you let them see your struggles ◇ Exhaustion

This thread takes place inside the clan's camp.
71
10
Freshkill
83
Pronouns
she/her
Profile
TAGS
Moons
25 [10/12/23]
Played by
Shinyotachi
FALLING FOR THE PROMISE OF THE
EMPTINESS MACHINE

.

Her paws were more than full these days, especially after Pineheart, Pigeonpearl, and Peachtrot stepped down leaving Russetfall as the sole Life Guard. Things were once again tense between those who remained in the council- though this time it was Pikestar and Jinglemoon who were at odds. On top of that her siblings had appeared from nowhere... She needed to keep an eye on them, even if she wasn't assigned to watch them. No one but her knew how much they couldn't be trusted. They'd grown up together after all.

With a shake of her head the molly huffs, grasping the rabbit she'd caught in her jaws to carry back to camp. Fishing was beginning to be less and less reliable, but at least the land prey was still out and about for the most part. She'd need to maybe host some sort of refresher course on hunting the critters that weren't fish in their territory sometime soon. Some of her clanmates had grown complacent with the easy fishing. Yet another thing to add to her ever-growing to-do list. She'd have to run it by Pike and Frost when she got back.

The camp is in sight, now. She thinks. ...Thinks..? She blinks slowly. Yes, yes that was the direction of camp. Where else would it be? Typical clan chatter reaches her ears but it sounds farther away than it should. Her limbs feel heavier, shakier than usual, even before she swims across the stream to step into camp. The rabbit is placed on the freshkill pile, and Russet turns to step towards Pikestar's den. She'd round up Frostmoth while she was at it to suggest-

She stumbles. Legs stubbornly refusing to obey her command to just walk before suddenly falling to her side, unconscious.



25 moons
Life Guard of Riverclan
she/her
tags


it's been decided how we lose
RUSSETFALL

— Life Guard of Riverclan
— She/Her
"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
— A Green-eyed Chocolate Mackerel Tabby With Low White
#8a2c55


- Tagging @Jinglemoon and @Thunderpaw, but no need to wait!
 
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We will call this place our home
The dirt in which our roots may grow
Though the storms will push and pull
We will call this place our home

.


There was a shy little smile tugging at Iciclewish's mouth as he listened to the others talk. He nodded along, whiskers twitching, still riding the quiet, private pride of the patrol he had been on. Today had been good. He had been brave. He couldn't wait to tell her-- A familiar scent drifted in on the breeze. Iciclepaw froze. His head snapped toward the camp entrance, ears pricked so sharply they trembled. That scent, soft, warm, sunlit. His favorite scent in all of RiverClan. A gasp slipped from him before he could stop it. He nearly jumped to his paws.

" Mama! "

He bounded forward, joy bubbling up and then he skidded to a sudden, jarring halt. Confusion slammed into his chest like a stone. Something... Something was wrong. She wasn't walking normally. Her steps were uneven, her head dipped, like she was trying to keep her balance but couldn't. Iciclewish's breath caught in his throat. " Mama? Mama...! " He rushed the rest of the way, heart pounding so hard it burnt in his ears. Russetfall lay slumped now. There was no blood. No clawmarks. Nothing that made sense. Only her stillness. Her terrifying stillness. Cold fear dug icy claws into his belly. His vision swam for a moment, moving to another scene... But there had been blood there... A lot of blood.

" Jingle! " Iciclewish cried sharply, his voice cracking. He frantically looked around camp, desperation rising in his chest like a flood. " Papa!! Papa, help! Please! " He pressed himself to Russetfall's side, small body trembling, nose nudging her cheek over and over as if that alone could wake her. " Mama, wake up... Please wake up... " he whispered, voice breaking into soft, terrified hiccups. " Something's wrong, Jingle, hurry! "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis


13 MOONS
𖧧
RIVERCLANNER
𖧧
SONG
𖧧
bio
 
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———————————————— A drag path, etched in the surface. ✦


The too-old apprentice lingered in the nursery, talking warmly with Wavesong about the kittens' soon-to-be-apprenticeships. Part of her had hoped at the idea of mentoring one herself, but with her own issues, she didn't want the kittens to have to grapple with it amongst their own training. It'd be something she talked with Pikestar and maybe Russetfall about in the far future...

Though something made her blood run cold, the panicked sound of Icicle crying out. He frightened easily, but there was only one cat he called Mama. Thunderpaw darted from the nursery as her blood drained cold. "Russetfall..." She breathed her mentor's name, lying limp in the middle of camp. Thunder couldn't lose her either. But- But this time she could do something.

Her paws moved before she thought, moving to Russetfall and shoving her face near the other's, holding her breath and- She let a sigh of relief. Russetfall was still breathing, and the fact that there wasn't a wound marring her pelt meant she hadn't been attacked either. Even so, Thunderpaw found her heart roaring in her ears; for the first time, she could actually help. "I-I'll grab Jingle." She looked with glassy eyes towards the other, who curled at the side of Russet as she lay there, limp. It made Thunder's mouth bitter, the painful familiarity of the sight, but she couldn't idle, not now.

Cinnamon pelt darted across the camp, chest heaving as it seemed like Jinglemoon was already moving to see the commotion. "I-It's Russetfall, she's passed out. She's not waking up, but she's still breathing." She quickly realised she was blocking Jinglemoon's way, shuffling to the side and looking to him with eyes that prickled with tears, but she refused to let them fall. "I-If you need any help, I can help!" Thunder had lost so much, and she couldn't bear to sit useless even at the smallest of issues. Not when it was her mentor, the first cat to truly believe in her.

  • Thunderpaw
    ✦—Riverclan apprentice | 13 moons
    ✦—She/Her
    ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
    ✦—A stocky cinnamon sealpoint molly with long curled ears and cold blue eyes.
    #C08969
 
—————————————————— Rocked by an endless motion ✦


The commotion is what drew his attention first. There was a shrieking, a wailing, as though there had been violence. As though there had been death—and perhaps there had, the death of innocence… Whatever it might be, the cries were shrill. It sat up, blue eyes searching—and they fell upon a particular pale body, trembling and shaking over a much darker fur, over a much more well-known fur. He took in a breath sharply, something of surprise and concern, and within a moment the lynxpoint was on his paws, all but running over to the fallen council member. It had hardly slowed when a familiar figure, one streaked with mottled colors, darted in front of him. He watched for just a brief moment, watched as a certain fear overtook her—but there was also a strange sense of relief there.

This was no murder, as far as the warrior could tell. No metallic scent tainted the air, nor did anything dark and shimmering lay stark against her pelt. With far gentler steps, he sloped forward as Thunder left, taking the she-cat's space. With a soft voice, the tom regarded the other. "Iciclewish." He hummed, lifting a small, delicate paw to put on his back. It was no use to panic, to tremble as though the very winds coursed through his veins. "It would be best to step back—there is no sense in stopping the flow of things." He tilted his head, nothing but a serene sense of calm present on his face. It lifted the paw he had laid on him, instead leaning in and setting it softly against the older warrior's side. "This will happen as it shall, and to fret over the course of it is to do yourself a disservice…"

It muttered these words as he began to feel, to run his strangely small paw along Russet's ruddy fur. Thunder had already felt that smooth wind of hers, the breath that dictated between the living and the dead—but Gale was searching for something more, something that flit about in the chest like a caged bird… and he found it, as weak as those wing beats may be. With a gentle sniff of acknowledgement, it pulled his paw back and frowned. Jinglemoon was surely on his way, but perhaps the tom could at least assist in gathering the information that would be needed.

He looked over to the trembling tom, cocking his head to the side. "…What did you see, if anything?"

  • Galerunner
    ✦—Riverclan Pearl Diver | 13 Moons
    ✦—He/They/It
    ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
    ✦—A fluffy high white lynx point with curled ears and deep blue eyes
    #87878E #BAB2AC
 
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𓆝 . ° ✦
Guppysplash had been a bit broody lately. That loner had joined them, Heather. She was a lovely molly, the kind that was calm and easy to get along with. Unfortunately, despite no mate in sight, she seemed to have the thing Guppy desired most: kittens. A family to call her own and raise as she wished, with love instead of the bitter coldness that she experienced from her own family. She had been in her den, laying down and trying to clear her head to no avail.

That was when the panicked cries of Iciclepaw drowned out her thoughts. Crying for his mama and papa. She sprang to her feet faster than intended, practically tripping over her own paws as she rushed to the clearing. Seeing the terrified Iciclepaw looking over his mother, Russetfall. She was unconscious, but thankfully it did not look like an attack of any kind. Guppysplash sighed with relief, looking at the other cats that had already gathered. Thunderpaw was rushing to get Jinglemoon, and she felt a bit at ease that some warriors had already been quick to assess the situation. Galerunner, a newly appointed warrior, was near Iciclepaw --- they seemed to be trying to comfort the small tom who was still hiccuping in a panic. He was a stoic and graceful tom, and his calmness in this situation would certainly put her at ease if she was in Iciclepaw's shoes.

She padded over to the duo, nodding towards Galerunner. "Galerunner is right, Iciclepaw." She meowed softly. "Jinglemoon will figure out how to help your mama." She could see a certain inquisitive glance that Galerunner gave the small apprentice, raising an eyebrow. There was a certain oddness to them that she wasn't entirely familiar with, and in her mind it seemed to be the wrong time to quiz the trembling tom.
° . . °
  • ooc: "mew!"
    @Iciclewish @Galerunner @Thunderpaw

  • GUPPYSPLASH — SHE/HER ・ 22 MOONS ・ WEAVER OF RIVERCLAN
    a small primarily black calico molly with green eyes and a scar across her lower lip. sheltered from the world by her family of primarily toms, she is now free to do as she wishes without her father constantly glancing over her shoulder like when she was an apprentice. she desires love and connection, a feeling of longing and a want to be seen runs through her.
 
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At the commotion, Frostmoth rushes out of camp toward the crumpled form of Russetfall. Several cats have beaten him to the scene. Iciclewish is foremost among them, and Galerunner and Guppysplash seem to be trying to help. Thunderpaw had been rushing back into camp as the deputy had pushed his way through the entrance.

Frostmoth's nose crinkles with anger as he thinks of how hard Russetfall has been working over the past pawful of moons. The jobs of many having been whittled down slowly to fall squarely on the shoulders of the chocolate-furred molly alone. He finds that his bitterness, as usual, is placed on Pikestar. There is only so much that Frostmoth can do to alleviate Russetfall's workload, and between her wordless acceptance of duty and Pikestar's apprehension toward adding more cats to the thinned council, it is now obvious that the burden had been too much.

And just as his bitterness for this long-term problem finds a target, his anger too sets its sights on a clanmate in the heat of the moment. "Quit wailing, you're just going to upset her when she wakes up!" he hisses at Iciclewish. Scathingly, he adds "And she's not your mother," a personal aside that he projects onto the both of them, finding himself further upset at the idea of having a cat as old as Iciclewish as a child at the age that he and Russetfall both share.

Suddenly self-conscious, he feels shame prickle at his pelt for his own spike of anger. He turns toward the camp entrance that is only a few tail-lengths away. "I'm going to make sure Thunderpaw has found Jinglemoon," he declares flatly, and strides away before any cat can berate him for his misplaced outburst.

  • "SPEECH"
  • FROST — he/him, riverclan deputy, 25 moons
    — penned by carat, feel free to ping or dm for plots!
    — longhair black and white bicolor with blue eyes
    — peaceful powerplay ok! all interactions ok!
  • penned by carat!
 
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We will call this place our home
The dirt in which our roots may grow
Though the storms will push and pull
We will call this place our home

.


Iciclewish barely heard the words of Thunderpaw as she spoke of getting Jinglemoon, as she fretted over Russetfall too. His eyes were set upon the one he was laying against at the moment. The cat that had took him in, had made him feel wanted and loved despite her gruff exterior... In all ways, to him she was a mother. The only form of mother he could remember aside from the not big two leg who had once held him... And the two big two legs who had abandoned him as a tiny scrap of fur on this shipyard where he had lived like a ghost, scavenging for food and shelter. A scrap of nothing...

Galerunner's words feel foreign and confusing... And for a moment it felt as if he were stating that Russetfall was dying and that was simply the way things went and he didn't understand this cat at all... This cat with his odd words and weird way of talking about... See? See what? Confusion riddled eyes fell to Galerunner for a moment, blinking twice.

He just saw her fall...

Guppysplash entered, with words that were kinder... Jinglemoon would figure out how to help mama, yes he would... And then through the frantic beating of his heart, the deputy approached. At first, there was relief. Frostmoth was a capable warrior too. He would know what to do... He just hadn't expected the knives that would be thrown at him, for the voice that sliced through the chilly air felt like a claw to his throat, insistent on drawing blood.

He froze. The words hitting him like a push at first, then as if he had been barreled into. His mouth hung open, mid-breath of a sob, the sound he'd been making strangled in an instant, urging himself to be quiet and when the bi-coloured tom snapped that Russetfall was not his mother, something inside of him snapped. It wasn't loud, or quite visible... More like a thin, delicate thread pulled too tight... And breaking... A buzzing roared loudly in his ears, relentlessly as he stared up at Frostmoth. It drowned out everything else. Anything that Galerunner might have said, that Guppysplash might have said.. Silence. Gone. All that remained was the roar in his ears now. His eyes were wide, blue and glassy with hurt. Every shred of warmth... Every shred of confidence he had shakily tried to build up shattered.

His vision tunneled, fixed on Frostmoth's face, on the coldness there.

" I... I... I'm... " he stammered, his voice cracking like thin ice. " I'm s... sorry... I didn't... I didn't mean to-- I... I wasn't... I was just... " the words tumbled over each other, tripping into one another in a panicked rush. For a second there was the memory of a small scrap of fur, skittering around, in hiding. Shelter... Safe... Away from others. Others were scary. He dipped his head low, shoulders curling inward as he tried to make himself smaller... Smaller... Smaller...

" I'm sorry Frostmoth... I... I'm sorry... I'll... I'll be quiet.. I-I didn't mean-- I didn't mean to make it worse... I'm sorry... " he whispered, breath shaking as he backed away, paws feeling numb and a heavy weight on his chest. His steps were uneven, like a kit scrambling from a scolding. His ears pressed tight to his skull, throat burning with shame. Frostmoth leaving the scene didn't make it any better... If anything, it hollowed him further. He retreated until he reached the edge of the clearing, far enough that no tail brushed him, no breath touched him... He sat... Stiffly... Tail curling around himself like a barrier. He didn't look back to Russetfall.. Or at the cats helping her... Or at Frostmoth's retreating form... He just stared down at his paws, vision blurring, heart aching with the quiet, crushing certainty that he had been in the way. Again... And a tiny splintered whisper formed in his mind...

He's right. She isn't your mother. You're just in everyone's way.

Iciclewish's paws trembled where they were planted, but he could no longer feel the ground beneath them. Everything was cold. Everything was too loud and too quiet all at once. His breath hitched as he tried to swallow the ache that threatened to climb up his throat. He didn't look up again. Couldn't. His gaze stayed fixed on his paws, pale, shaking, useless... As if staring at them hard enough would make him disappear entirely. He wanted to. Stars, he wanted to. The world around him felt faraway, muffled by the ringing in his ears and the burning behind his eyes.

His chest caved inward with a trembling inhale, his tail curling tighter around him until it hurt. Maybe the pain would keep him rooted. Maybe the pain would keep him quiet, small, invisible... But it didn't. Suddenly the pressure in his lungs, in his head, in his heart became too much. Too tight. Too heavy. His breath stuttered, and before he knew it his legs were moving on their own, jerking him to his paws, stumbling the first step, then the next, and then he bolted. Not looking at anyone. Not hearing anything. Not thinking of anything except getting away, away, away...

Away from Frostmoth's voice echoing inside his skull. Away from the eyes he imagined on him even when no one was watching. Away from the place where he'd thought, foolishly, desperately, he belonged. He ran until his chest burned and his vision blurred, until the clearing and the cats within it shrank behind him like a bad dream he was fleeing on instinct. Only when the wind finally stung his face enough to slow him did he choke out a trembling breath. He didn't know where he was going. He only knew he couldn't stay.

So he kept running.

//OUT


Speech, thoughts/emphasis


13 MOONS
𖧧
RIVERCLANNER
𖧧
SONG
𖧧
bio


ooc: yeah icicle is outtie

ooc:
 
𓆝 . ° ✦
She was not one for confrontation, especially with the deputy of her clan: a warrior she was meant to respect. However, perhaps it was due to her own upset at a loner getting what she desired most or something inside her snapping watching someone snap at a younger warrior the same way her parents did to her. She shot a glance at Galerunner, her green eyes wide as she watched Iciclewish practically flee the camp from Frostmoth's outburst.

She shot Galerunner another glance, a wordless concern. Her whiskers twitching and tail flicking irritably as she followed Frostmoth. He had hurried to check on Thunderpaw, rushing to Jinglemoon's den as if the Medicine Cat and Thunderpaw could protect him from any sort of repercussions at his outburst. She caught up to the tom, fur on the back of her neck standing up --- a mixture of anxiety at standing up to someone, especially a tom, for the first time. She was sure if her father or brothers saw her she would be scolded, a firm paw to the back of the head and a reminder to 'stay in line'. But something in her felt compelled to say something, a rumble rose in her throat, tears welling in her eyes from personal stress of having to confront another.

"What is your p-problem?!"
Her voice cracked, tears streaming down her face out of anxiety and fear. "Why did you say that to Iciclewish?!" She was trying to look tough, to make it look like she was actually someone you shouldn't upset. But her whole body was shaking like a leaf, imagining Frostmoth reacting like her father would. The way her face was shoved in the dirt every time she questioned him during her apprenticeship, would it be the same here? Her lip continued to quiver, and she brought a paw to her eyes, trying to hide the fact her racing heart had caused her eyes to spring a leak.

"I-I know you're our deputy, b-b-but you can't just talk to warriors like that!" She stammered out, she was sure Jinglemoon and Thunderpaw could hear her. Maybe they were chuckling at how pathetic she looked.
° . . °
  • ooc: "mew!"
    @Frostmoth @Jinglemoon @Thunderpaw

  • GUPPYSPLASH — SHE/HER ・ 22 MOONS ・ WEAVER OF RIVERCLAN
    a small primarily black calico molly with green eyes and a scar across her lower lip. sheltered from the world by her family of primarily toms, she is now free to do as she wishes without her father constantly glancing over her shoulder like when she was an apprentice. she desires love and connection, a feeling of longing and a want to be seen runs through her.
 
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Rushingtide's ear flicks annoyedly as he enters camp, past a running Iciclewish and to the irritated voice of his clanmates. Their ire is directed at Frostmoth, and the last thing he wants to do is defend the one who exiled his father. . . Guppysplash's words make him snort loudly. "Iciclewish is a warrior, in case you don't recall." He rasps with a whisk of his tail. Why were they so focused on a runaway warrior, when there were clearly more pressing matters right in front of them? "He's not a kit or an apprentice who can't handle himself." Otherwise, he wouldn't have graduated — through he wouldn't put it past Pikestar to do just that.

"Besides," The young tom continues, pointing towards Russetfall with a nod of his head. "Isn't the unconscious Life Guard much more worrying?" Seriously. . . Rushingtide rolls his shoulders, turning to walk away from the group. "Let Jinglemoon do his job."

OOC // in and out!

WARRIOR OF RIVERCLAN
he / him, cismale
16 moons old, ages on the 14th.
adder x wavesong, littermate to crescentmoon
older brother of salmonkit, otterkit, foamkit, piranhakit, troutkit and shellkit
SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION
penned by nocthymia
 
all you have is your
FIRE
─〃

"Damned fool..." The large dark shadow that was Smokewreath ambled forward at all the shouting, his trout discarded onto the cold ground to fetch later as he stomped toward the russet-pelted life guard motionless on the ground, Russetfall had always been a stubborn cat - most the youngsters were - Pikestar had filled his council with primarily young warriors including his own deputy and it showed. They were passionate, but they overworked themselves to prove something, Frostmoth especially always seemed to be trying to prove something; poor attitude aside this wasn't really the place for such things and Iciclewish's overly emotional outburst wasn't benefiting anyone and certainly not Russetfall, based on the reactions it seemed some cats took what was just a rude thing to say to heart. Made him recall their backgrounds, how many of them came from broken places with little to no family.

"Guppysplash, can you go make sure he didn't go running off into the river or something?" Stars above knows he wasn't the sensitive type willing to hunt down and console a cat and frankly neither was anyone else here outside her. The little moron was a warrior now but some cats seemed to take longer to grow into the role. It made him wonder about his own kits, Cricketpaw was about as big as he was almost at least in terms of legs and Beepaw was constantly getting into everything - would they mature well or would they cling to him still? Smokewreath wasn't sure which he wanted, there was always that drive to be necessary in his kits lives so he didn't lose them but at the end of the day they were their own cats with their own lives.
His long orange eye gazed down at the fallen molly once more, still breathing from the faint shift of movement but obviously not aware of anything happening; he was no medicine cat so hopefully Thunderpaw and Frostmoth were swift in returning with one.
Ooc- ooc info here.
─ & the place you need to reach.
Smokewreath

— RiverClan Warrior
— He/Him
"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
— Solid black tom w/vitiligo and one orange eye.
#ff7d46
x
x
x
x
 

Minding nothing but their own buisness, something she thought Russet and Pike and the rest of these fish-eating cats would have been pleased about. Umber touted about camp, tidying. If she were to stay here, the place might as well look nice, so she took it upon herself to expose of some dried awful moss, her own megar nest had been irritating her to no end, so getting rid of it was for the best.

He wasn't meant to have left camp, but just a moment to scrounge new moss wasn't a crime! How was she to get her well deserved rest--and she supposed some extra for these other cats to use would be a kindness. Only as she ducked into camp, sharp yowling caught her ears, making Umber visably wince at the awful ruckus. "Who's little brat is making all that noise." She muttered under her breath, looking to see the source of the wailing for their "Mama".

It was a white furred thing, a little old to be whining so much for their mother, whom seemed to have met something untimely right in the middle of camp-

For once, Umber's snark fell silent, genuinely so. That was no unsuspecting molly, he knew that striped pelt anywhere, Umber clutched his jaw at the realization that was his sister collapsed, unmoving in camp. Part of her had half accepted before searching for Russet, that she might have already been dead. But seeing her unmoving as the young warrior wailed. "Mama?" The expression that was mottled with the closest thing to dreead was washed away by utter confusion. That cat was far too old to be Russet's kin, how in the fuck had she ended up with a kit? Was it one she took beneath her wing?

It wasn't as if she could have asked the white ball of fur, the black and white cat Umber vaguely recalled as the deputy stepped out and reamed the little thing with a quick snap of the maw. The twilight tabby simply watched on in a muted surprise. He didn't seem the type to snap in such a way, then again she didn't pay all much attention to most the clan cats. The deputy did seem to earn some funny looks and cajoling, Umber letting out a huff of frsutation as the young cat barged past her without even a muttering of an apology.

Umber huffed with a roll of the eyes, but she had bigger fish to catch here. Tentatively she padded towards Russet, looked with an unreadable expression. Not quite worry, but she wouldn't walk off until their healer had showed his face. They had a lot of questions for Russet, but first the fool had to wake up. Her pelt was unmarred of injury, there was no scent of illness on her either as they bowed and pressed a nose to her cheek to ensure she hadn't gone and died on them when they just got here.

Assured the other was alive, Umber sat on their haunched and huffed a sigh, looking to the unnaturally tall cat nearby. "Wouldn't be surprised if she hasn't been worked to the bone and it's taken it's toll." They muttered, watching the black and white tom poke his head into the healer's den, ignoring another cat trying to reprimand him. If this was the state of the clan Russet cared so much for, it felt as if they had little care for her if they had worked her as hard as it seemed she had been put to. Only help from the deputy and Pikestar himself, occasionally she saw that healer helping too. For a clan this size, they seemed woefully underequipped for leafbare. If this were to continue, it would be rough for all of them.
UMBERLIGHT
Any pronouns, Rogue, 26 moons.
A longhaired twilight charcoal tabby with white markings and mismatched blue-green eyes.
mentored by none // mentoring no one
littermate to Russetfall and Darknight
NPC x NPC / parent to none / mated to none
"SPEECH" // "THOUGHTS" // ATTACK
penned by Hawk ↛ phoenixwashere on discord, feel free to message in #phoenix-pyre for plots.