Private DRINKING SONG FOR THE SOCIALLY ANXIOUS | garnet

[KNOT]

The possibility that Pike was full of fishdung weighed on her mind like a boulder.

To have been able to go on his journey herself, to try and find where this fated land was and take charge if things seemed too egocentric had been possibilities closed to the grey tabby the moment she stepped upon that splinter. It'd been one misstep out of many in trying to protect Garnet, who now roamed the desolate remains of their camp with a scar upon her shoulder. She'd always been the pretty one, to Knot that hadn't changed, but she couldn't help but look away every time her mate seemed to mither over her new wound, not for the physical pain but for the way that it tarnished that picture-perfect appearance. When sorrow entered Garnet's eyes, Knot found empathy through her own struggles, but, she hadn't seen her reflection since the collapse, couldn't, for if Garnet felt so strongly about one scar, was there a chance she truly felt differently about Knot's teeth or ears? It was a thought that settled poorly in her stomach, one that needed confronting but never could be, for she was scared to cast any doubt on the perfect life they were trying to build for themselves.

"Kit mentioned a place near a river, a uh... Island?" She paused her grooming of Garnet's head to gossip, tucking her injured paw into her chest. On the budding scar, she could feel her heartbeat pounding at her ribcage and demanding to be free. "Dunno if I trust him, if we all have to swim to get there then rats, I-" She swallowed a lump in her throat. She could not endure the waters again, the touch upon her whiskers was a caress of icy death whenever she needed to drink, the idea of going any deeper than that... Well, perhaps she almost hoped Pike was a liar, that way, the pair could move someplace that wasn't so impractical.

Her stubby tail twitched. "Feeling alright? About it all?" Knot presumed Garnet would follow the group, she had been maimed trying to save one of them, after all. Still, at that moment, she'd felt as if she'd done enough presuming to last a lifetime.

@GARNET

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[GARNET]

It is hard to trust in Pike — in all the shipyard cats displaced by the felled shelter. United they stand in looking out for one another, that much has been proved true. But when they can no longer simply stand, when they must do, can she trust them?

The spotted tabby leans into Knot's touch, eyes half lidded as her mate grooms her. A moment of normalcy in their suddenly uprooted life. A reflection of all the days prior spent in each other's embrace… though now her self image is marred and imperfect. Garnet feels less than. She is not beautiful on the inside like her mate; she is not wise and calculated and maternal. All the leggy feline had going for her was her appearance. And now…?

Her stomach flip flops with the intrusive thoughts of Knot leaving her. Fed up with her moping and imperfections; her fixation on being perfect for her lover and their family.

The blue tabby stills and Garnet's eyes slowly open, angling her head to gaze upon her beloved. "You'll be brave, my treasure," Garnet murmurs with a soft smile. Reassurance glows in spring hued eyes as she shifts, wincing at the subtle pull in her injured shoulder, and wrapping her mate to her chest with her forelimbs. "We… should trust him. A river full of fish. An island of protection. I will carry you across if that is what it takes," she laughs, though the humor does not quite reach her eyes. Within a heartbeat her expression falters and Garnet leans to press her forehead against Knot's own. "We can't stay here. We can't go back to the life we had either… I don't… I can't put Amber and Scarab through the same trials I faced as a kit, wandering place to place without a home to call my own."

The memories of want and need resurface, crashing against the mental walls Garnet tried to hide them behind. "I think I have to feel alright about it all. For them. For you."