Private I BOUGHT A RECORD PLAYER [ starlitpath ]

[swarmswirl]

Swarmswirl isn't sure when they got to the river - if it was a quick walk in silence or if she wandered with Starlitpath trailing after her. All she knows is that eventually, the cool water splashes against her paws, and she finds herself present again. Her throat is still hoarse, and she feels she may croak like a frog if she tries to speak at all, but that doesn't stop the subtle, "Oh," that leaks from her maw. The river does well to sweep away the fresh ichor she's been drenched with, but much of what isn't hers has dried and crusted into her already dark fur.

After a longer moment yet, Swarmswirl seats herself at the water's edge. Her eyes flick over to Starlitpath who, surprisingly, has decided to act like an anchor for the time being. It'd be too easy to return to their usual snide banter - and perhaps, in some ways, the tortoiseshell grows greedy for the drops of normalcy it would provide for her. But instead, the warrior tilts her gaze away again, uncertain of what she wants at all. It's so sudden, but it feels as if her world has been mashed beneath some muddy paws. It's unfair. Starlingtrail shouldn't fear being a widow, the kittens shouldn't fear losing a parent.

"What happens if she doesn't live?" Swarmswirl asks. Her voice is terse, but not angry. It just... is. "I would... I would..." be without a sister, yes - but there's more important bonds that would be severed. Her jaw tenses, "My kin... they'd need me more, wouldn't they?" Another pause. She finds her jaw hurting but she can't loosen the hinge at all. "I'm here... washing her blood off of my paws instead of - being there, where they need me. I don't... I don't..." she trails off, uncertain what more there is to say.

@starlitpath

 

[starlitpath starlitpath]

(˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗) he lingers near but not close enough to touch... not anymore. after guiding the woman to the river, he allows her to wade about, crimson clouding the water as it washes from her chocolate paws. he's uncomfortable to an extent, watching her fall apart as she sits, uneasy gaze flitting to him before her head drops to stare at her paws. she looks in shock, a shell of the warrior he's competed with his whole life. half of him wants to poke her, to return to casual teasing, but there's a depth to her glassy gaze that warns him too much might break her. starlitpath swallows, creeping closer until he can sit a tail length from her along the bank. chrysalisgaze's dull eyes, her bloodied throat, flash in his mind. his fellow apprentice under duskpool, the woman is more than a training partner to starlitpath. a friend, he'd call her, if he is so forward as to use that word. the water laps at his paws, and he watches swarmswirl out of the corner of his eye.

when she speaks, it's with a rough, trembling tone. starlitpath swallows, ears flattening. "i..." she begins, but finds her mouth dry. hawkstar's died before, but her mother has always returned. one day, her lives will run out. one day, she'll have to worry about the king returning to the stars. "if... if that happens," because it's only an if. swarmswirl's sister had been breathing when they'd left. swallowbreeze had seemed relatively confident. "then starlingtrail and your kin will need your support." how does one explain death to a child? that their mother will no longer visit them. "but they have the clan too. it's not only on you."

the calico point's gaze flicks to her companion, steady. "swarmswirl, you cannot do anything for chrys right now." unfortunately, there is no enemy for the woman to chase and kill, no cat to beg at for chrysalisgaze's life. "you needed a moment, and duskpool was checking on the kits" she murmurs, tightening her tail around her paws. her former mentor, also chrysalisgaze's, is a calm presence. he will keep the kits occupied. "we can return to camp, if you wish." worry flashes in aqua eyes, its presence unnatural there where there is usually teasing laughter. the woman is still crusted in her sister's blood, and starlitpath has half a mind to offer to groom it out. still, the idea of touch feels taboo, wrong. swarmswirl is prickly, unpredictable on a good day. she looks shattered now, but her guard is still up, walls surrounding her.

LIKE CONSTELLATIONS ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ IMPLODING IN THE NIGHT

• // " #dcccf0"
• 
• 
  STARLITPATH ★ tags / toyhouse
  
  ★ genderfluid (he / she / they) / bisexual, mate of none
  ★ 29 moons old, ages realistically
  ★ warrior of skyclan
  ★ younger sibling to THREETOE, BADGERTAIL, BEARFACE
  ★ mentoring SPIKEPAW / mentored by DUSKPOOL
  ★ penned by LAVS / message lavendes on discord for plots!
  
  a shorthaired dilute calico point with low white and aqua eyes. short, thick fur decorates her frame, cream hued, swooping into a cowlick on her head. their face, paws, and tail are dappled with fawn and slate gray, broken through by speckles of white. a star shaped white splotch on their forehead offers them their namesake. eyes like ocean water, a deep aqua blue, pierce out of almond shaped sockets.

​

 

[swarmswirl]

She speaks, and though she knows he is there, Swarmswirl does not anticipate an answer. The tortoiseshell almost figures him a sentry in his own right, acting as a guard to forbid her from running off and doing anything foolish. The molly wonders if there is any bit of her that can convince him that she won't - or if she's always been the foolish, sharp tongued and over eager molly to be concerned with. Starlitpath dredged her from the puddles of her kin's blood to observe her, as if she's a specimen to be examined, a tragedy to withstand, a criminal to be shackled with.

Amidst her senseless ramblings, she looks to her momentary companion. The other is distanced, as if she is diseased and he cannot risk the contagion. Yet within the depths of his pale eyes, she sees... what? Discernment? Unavailability? This isn't what they are. They aren't... friends. At best, they're a child's attempt at rivals, even into their adulthood.

Swarmswirl looks away again, refusing to see the concern that swims vaguely in Starlitpath's countenance. But she can't avoid it when it drips from her uncertain voice. The limits are being tested, teased, reasonably pushed...

... and Swarmswirl gives. If only slightly.

Being told 'nothing can be done' doesn't assuage the fathomless forms of guilt and frustration, but the tortoiseshell warrior takes what she can get. Swallowbreeze is competent enough for StarClan to grant her her name, Duskpool is more than willing to handle a pawful of kits in Starlingtrail's absence. Hawkstar will serve their retribution and vengeance, Flowercloud will station stronger patrols about the borders, Fujimoto will bolster their ranks with more and more cats capable and willing for their cause. They're not alone. They're not alone...

"You're right," leaves her maw in a slow, quiet tone.

She rubs a paw into the crust that's collected at the hem of her paw, grimacing as little flakes float away. She mutters a quiet, "Don't get in the water," to Starlitpath. "Wouldn't want you getting stained... Hawkstar will surely be out of sorts then." She offers a meek and unsure attempt at their casual banter, though still obviously unsettled and uncomfortable.