She had walked back behind Hawkstar. And she had felt guilt, but not until the adrenaline of the battle had died. Her ears rung as thunder growled in the growing distance, the silence feeling fragile in between the sounds of the storm around them. The heavy droplets of rain pounding soaked her fur to the bone, and she hated every step. She hated the weight of guilt that was slowly settling on her shoulders. But soon, it turned to raw pain, her hind leg beginning to limp harder from the stress. Her shoulders burned, opened, her jaws tight in the beginning to be unbearable pain- but she pushed forward.
Swallowbreeze wasnt happy. She worked over those injured with mumblings of her work, of her herb stock, of stuff Flowercloud couldn't much focus on. She winced as herbs were applied to her shoulders, to her chest- taking down whatever she was told to ingest without arguing. Quiet, thoughtful. But she didn't say a word. She needed to focus on how she was going to explain this to Hawkstar.
As she thought sleep was going to fall upon her, a surprise visitor came. Her eyes wary, her cheek scarred from Flowerclouds own paws, and that guilt crawled back like a hungry kittypet that was offered food once. And for the first time in a while, they spoke calmly. She still felt the embrace that her daughter gave her, she still wished she was there, her head and body curled around Cygnets protectively like a shield. Despite what pulled on her body- she was welcoming of the warmth her daughter provided.
Even if it was temporary, she could only hope not.
She informed Swallowbreeze she needed to speak to Hawkstar, limping carefully across camp as not to pull anything and irk the medicine camp. But by then, she knew what she needed to say. Flowercloud took a breath, wincing as her chest expanded, as her shoulders stretched. Green eyes shut, before speaking her kings name. "Hawkstar, I'd like to speak to you." She said softly. And when beckoned in, she was shy of the electric blue gaze on her. Her head lowered in the natural respect for her king, laying herself onto her belly as her king sat upright above her.
"I'd like to apologize. I have made a decision without your approval, and for that, I am truly sorry, Hawkstar." She began, green eyes watching pointed paws rather than the gaze. "We were supposed to just mark the border, but when we arrived, Owlbark was leading a patrol as well, showing his apprentice who had scratched my nephews cheek the border." Miscommunication and never corrected that Webpaw was not Owlbarks apprentice, only that she was the one to scratch Cinderpaw leaving a scar on the young toms cheek. "his apprentice continued about how grand we think we are because of the code, and they fail to realize maybe there is a reason Starclan has not told them- that perhaps they are not worthy. I had made that clear, that perhaps they weren't. I noticed, though, as I was turning to lead the patrol away, and lead peace - Owlbark had mumbled something, and the apprentice had begun moving back to their territory. That is when Owlbark stepped forward, I believe. And he spoke of Rosebelly being weak." Her tail lashed, her toes stretching into the ground in her den, her jaws tensing before taking a breath.
"I'm sorry that your son was too weak to finish the battle he started, Flowercloud. He fought viciously and without thought, That must be what every SkyClanner is taught, then." She imitated him, word for word, so that Hawkstar herself knew and understood what she meant. Her lips curled, teeth tight. "he not only insulted Rosebelly in his grave, he insulted how you taught my son, and by calling him weak- he was calling you weak. He insulted our clan, and spat in the face of our code. When I approached him, I was not only defending Rosebelly. But I was defending you, and Skyclan." She explained her own thought process. "I sent Fujimoto and Downypaw to you- because I knew you would come without hesitation. I tell you this, so you listen, and understand where I am coming from. It was not revenge anymore." Finally, she let out another breath, and closed her eyes, dipping her head.
"I hope you understand now, Hawkstar. I am sorry, and in the future it won't happen again. I assure you." She finished, awaiting Hawkstars words, anxiety curling in her stomach. Would she punish Flowercloud? Demote her again? She couldn't know, wouldn't know. But the silence was almost suffocating, and she could not dare look into Hawkstars gaze.
@Hawkstar
flowercloud - 37 moons - skyclan deputy - mentoring none