TW: Sensitive Content TW: Death Border TC Loner/Rogue if we loved again, i swear i'd love you right // urchin & saffron

Please review the more detailed TW summary at the top of the post.
Character death is present in this thread.
This thread takes place at the border of the clan territory.

Seafoambelly

regret is my constant companion
ThunderClan
Ranger
25
3
Freshkill
40
Pronouns
she/her
Profile
TAGS
Moons
86
Played by
Plot_Twists
Character Hub
LINK
{$title} mentions of blood and birth; death by car

SEAFOAMBELLY
, 86 moons / THUNDERCLAN RANGER
A long-furred blue-gray she-cat with blue-green eyes.
Sister to URCHINSPINE
Solemn and distant. She doesn't talk much.

SPEECH || THOUGHTS
Tagging @Urchinspine //FYI she's not dead quite yet, so urchin and her can interact just a little before she dies//



Her paws led her, as they often did, outside of ThunderClan's camp, alone. Every so often, she wondered if Wave was the one to guide her paws, stuck somewhere in the afterlife, a ghost along these familiar paths. It was a disquieting thought, to think their greatest failure remained with them - but not altogether uncomfortable.

If Wave were still around, perhaps it meant she was haunted by both siblings. Or maybe Wave was here to give her company. Who could say? Rowanfeather and Loonstar had talked of meeting with the spirits of the dead before - would Wave be among them when she died? Or was his spirit somewhere else?

Too many thoughts for a chilled leaf-bare day. Too much sadness when she ought to be focused on hunting... the sooner she caught some prey, the sooner she could go back to camp and curl up in her nest to try and warm up.

Alone.

Watching her clanmates snuggle with their loved ones always hit harder in the colder moons. It made her long for a much further, simpler time - when Urchin and Wave would cuddle with each other after playing in the snow. Those days were long gone, and she'd watched from afar as her sister's kits enjoyed that same privilege.

The Ranger sighed, shaking the thoughts from her head. It would not do to dwell.

Her lonesome journey through the territory continued, until the scent of blood and asphalt stopped her in her tracks. A loner crouched in the center of the Thunderpath, heaving, having left a bloodied trail from the snow onto the surface.

"Hang on!" she called, running onto the strange path, cringing as she felt the weight of it beneath her paws. How many lives had been lost to the Thunderpath?

"I- My kit -" the loner meowed through gritted teeth. Seafoambelly's mind raced as she realized - this loner was in labor, and it wasn't looking good for her. What had happened to lead her onto the Thunderpath while giving birth? As she was about to ask, the loner yowled again, crumpling with the pain.

There was no other option but to help her across the Thunderpath - she couldn't leave her there, she couldn't run and get Rowanfeather.

"It'll be alright, just bear it for a moment longer," she meowed, grabbing the scruff of the queen's neck. There was so much blood - it pooled around the Ranger's paws and made her pads slip as she dragged the loner along with her.

The Monster was fast, unhindered by extra weight and slippery crimson. In a split second, a decision needed to be made.

Seafoambelly would not let the Thunderpath take another life if there was something she could do about it. The Ranger slung the loner out of the way, trying to follow - but she was not fast enough.

The crumpled body of the warrior lay beside the wailing queen, her broken chest heaving as eyes glassed over.

 
x


Could I have saved you? / Would that've betrayed you?
I want to burn this film / You alone with those pills
What you couldn't do, I will

I forgive you


Her dreams had been restless. The image of her mate Oleander, pristine white fur, those stark blue eyes that all their children shared. She wondered if that meant the end was approaching, the visage of her long dead mate an omen for her own approaching mortality. Still, tonight felt different. Oleander was clearer now, not like the fleeting memory of him that played in Urchin's head like an old photo. No, this was different.

"Prickle," He meowed, his voice soft, comforting. What he always called her in life, a pet name that made her feel warm in a way that no one else could. Urchin looked towards him, he was clearer than he had ever been before. She moved forward, a greeting, tail upright and a soft smile on the molly's creased face.

"Ollie," She meowed happy, moving towards her mate to greet him. She was shut down quickly, the tom shaking his head, a sadness affixed to his maw. Urchin pulled away, looking at her mate.

"It's not time yet, my love." He meowed, looking away sadly. Urchin sighed, pulling away and sitting on her haunches. When would it be time? She had been here so many times, faced with Oleander. Even if it was just a dream, it felt so real. She had been here before, and it always ended the same way: her awake in the nursery with kits that were not her own. A lingering pain radiating from Urchin's heart as she sighed, her hurt evident in her eyes. Before she could ask why, she was awake again, a deep sigh creasing her brow.

She stood, exiting the nursery to get some fresh air. Were the spirits toying with her? This dream on repeat like a mantra? It had been the same night after night. Perhaps there was something clawing at her, something deep within that she felt like she needed to sort out before her time on this Earth waned, and her spirit joined Starclan. Urchin paused, reflectively. Perhaps that is what Ollie meant, that she still had things to do here --- things to settle. She glanced towards the warriors den, as if her thoughts had become a reality.

Seafoam.

She glanced at the form of her sister exiting camp, shoulders hunching. Was that it Ollie? Preaching forgiveness for divinity? The molly scowled, thinking of the lives her and Seafoam got to live while Wave rested in the cold Earth, never even getting to experience being a warrior. Urchin sighed, looking up at the stars. Was this what he wanted?

Urchin knew deep down she still felt a kindle of familial instinct towards the grey molly, the way her mind faltered when she spat insults at their most recent passing in the nursery. Urchin didn't like how she felt about Seafoam, and even when she was younger, Ollie had always urged her to attempt to talk about her feelings. Perhaps that was what he was doing now, pushing her to do what she had always been too afraid of. Greywing died not long after their sister, and the bitterness of losing more family pressed on her. Dandelionpaw passing was just another nail in the coffin, reminding her of Wave's tiny body coming back to camp.

The grey molly gritted her teeth, padding out of camp behind her sister. As she pushed past the entrance to their camp, she was just in time to see the monster meet the grey body of her sister and throw her body limply to the side of the path --- beside a wounded and wailing queen.

"Seafoam!" Her gruff voice came out crackled, breaking from the sheer shock of what she had just witnessed. Despite the aches of her bones from retirement and the rasp in her throat from the wound that never quite healed right, she rushed forward with the agility of a young warrior. Across the crimson streaked thunderpath, her white paws streaked in viscera and muddied snow. The queen wailed, a mixture of pain from her labour and whatever had occurred before Urchin rushed in. Seafoambelly's eyes were growing glossy, her eyelids heavy.

"You mousebrained fool!" She hissed, clumsy paws trying to do anything to keep her sister in this world. Images of Wavepaw, Dandelionpaw, and Tulipmask rushing through her head. Her eyes started to well with tears, "You can't die like this!" She shrieked, her entire being being coated in the blood from her sister dragging the molly. She looked so small, a crumpled heap. "I-I can't l-lose you too.." Her voice was breaking. She was no fool, if she ran to get Rowanfeather her sister would be gone before they got back. All she could do now was be here for the end.

"I'm so sorry, Seafoam..." It was almost a whisper. "It should have been me..." She was shaking, trembling like an apprentice --- the same way she had when Wavepaw's body came back to camp. Her mother was shattered, but at least she didn't have to bury two daughters that day. "When Wave died... y-you could have died too... I'm so sorry." Tears streaked the molly's face as she knelt down, burying her face in her sister's fur.

OOC // @Seafoambelly

✴ ⋆ ˚𓇼 ⋆ ˚✷
CAREGIVER OF THUNDERCLAN
she / her, afab (female)
86 moons old, ages on the 19th.
greywing x morningmist, littermate to seafoambelly, wavepaw
mentored by ruineyes, previously mentored lilacbranch, stagwhisper
mated to oleanderwish
mother to daturablossom, tulipmask, moonflowerheart, dandelionpaw, primrosemask, lupinehowl, comfreywhisker

SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION
penned by asteiri!
 

SEAFOAMBELLY
, 86 moons / THUNDERCLAN RANGER
A long-furred blue-gray she-cat with blue-green eyes.
Sister to URCHINSPINE
Solemn and distant. She doesn't talk much.

SPEECH || THOUGHTS
Tagging person here


Maybe she was dreaming. That would be the only reason Urchinspine could be here, apologizing. That couldn't be real.

"U-urchin?" she grumbled. "What are you... Why are you here?" And what was all that about Urchinspine saying 'it should've been me?' Urchinspine had children, both her own and the kits she cared for. Urchin was an excellent mother. Protective, loving.

"Don't," she coughed out. Why were the words coppery on her tongue? "Don't say that. You have so much -" The Ranger hacked up a thick cough. "Much to live for." The molly couldn't even question why her sister was bothering to talk in the first place - the darkness in her vision was closing in.

"Is... is she okay?" she asked, trying to swing her head to the wailing loner. The other cat was weakened too, her blood mixing in the snow with the ranger's, crimson and cold. "I tried- I couldn't let what happened to Wave-"

 
x

Urchin could feel her eyes stinging from the tears, the lighter parts of her pelt stained with the copper mixture of her sister's blood as well as this loner she had died for. She glanced at the loner, writhing on the ground. Her sister had given everything for this expectant mother, and Urchin knew in her heart that it was unlikely either of them survived this.

"I tried- I couldn't let what happened to Wave-" Urchin shook her head, feeling a fresh wave of emotion hit her. What was the point in telling her sister the truth? The truth that she had given her life for nothing, an act of redemption that Urchin had forced on her. She felt utterly hollow as she looked down at her sister, the grunts of the weakened loner dying down as her strength ebbed from her body.

"S-she'll be okay." Urchin lied through her teeth, she wasn't a medicine cat. There was nothing she could do for Seafoam or this loner, she wasn't even sure how to ensure that the kits were alright after birth. She glanced in her direction again, she knew she should get Rowanfeather --- but she needed to be here for Seafoam. It felt selfish, a cruelty to a stranger. But Seafoam needed her, and once she turned her back, she knew the molly would be gone. She glanced skyward, praying for their family to carry her sister's spirit safely. Oleander, Wave, Tulip, and Dandelion. Perhaps they could deliver her sister safely to the beyond, where her and Wave could be together again.

Urchin looked at her sister through the tears, memories of their apprenticeship before Wave's death had torn them apart ripping through her. She didn't know what she could say that would be a comfort, looking at her littermate. She remembered what she had done for Tulip, his already cold body pressed against her nose. Her sister still had life, but more and more of it was painting the snow below them. She reached down, licking her sister's cheek. "You did the r-right thing... I-I'm sure Wave is proud." She looked upwards again, her usual gruffness replaced by the softness that was reserved for kits and apprentices.

OOC // @Seafoambelly

✴ ⋆ ˚𓇼 ⋆ ˚✷
CAREGIVER OF THUNDERCLAN
she / her, afab (female)
86 moons old, ages on the 19th.
greywing x morningmist, littermate to seafoambelly, wavepaw
mentored by ruineyes, previously mentored lilacbranch, stagwhisper
mated to oleanderwish
mother to daturablossom, tulipmask, moonflowerheart, dandelionpaw, primrosemask, lupinehowl, comfreywhisker

SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION
penned by asteiri!
 

SEAFOAMBELLY
, 86 moons / THUNDERCLAN RANGER
A long-furred blue-gray she-cat with blue-green eyes.
Sister to URCHINSPINE
Solemn and distant. She doesn't talk much.

SPEECH || THOUGHTS
Tagging person here



"She'll be okay."

That was a relief. Seafoambelly wasn't sure she would've been able to handle failing again, especially in front of Urchin. Her glassy eyes looked up to Urchinspine, almost certain that for a moment she could see Wave standing beside her sister.

"You... you really think so?" she murmured. "I'm... I'm glad." Her breath gurgled - she wanted to stand up, but her legs felt like water, waves crashing against slippery snow.

"Tell... tell your kits... I'm sorry I never got to know them." Her gaze shifted then to Wave, who wavered like a mirage.

"Wave, tell Urchin... tell her I'm sorry, okay? I really am. It always should've.... been me."

 
x

"Tell... tell your kits... I'm sorry I never got to know them."

Urchin choked slightly. Regret rushing over her like waves, she took another glance towards the queen, her weakness becoming more and more evident with every moment that passed. Before Urchin could say there was still time to know them, still time for Seafoam to know her nieces and nephews in a way she had never been able her voice cut through again. Her gaze was hollow, looking towards Urchin but almost as if she was looking through her --- at something else. That's when Urchin felt herself chilled.

Wave.

Seafoam was talking to Wave.

Urchin looked around, as if expecting some grand display of seeing Wave coming to pick up her sister... but she saw nothing. Urchin swallowed hard, knowing their time together was nearing its end. She wondered if Tulipmask and Dandelionpaw were here too, ready to bring their aunt towards Starclan for safe passage. All she could do now was try to offer false hope, give Seafoam something to cling to.

"T-there's still time, Seafoam. You can meet them..." She murmured, her gruffness replaced by the softness that Seafoam had only ever seen her use with the crying kits in the nursery. Urchin lowered her body to the cold snow, her furred stomach bristling from the chill as she sat beside her sister in what she assumed were the last moments she had. She would be with family again, their mother and father, Wave, her kits that were no longer in this world, and of course: Oleander. She was almost jealous in a way, but it was the least her sister deserved after all this time. After all these years of strife that were in part caused by Urchin.

OOC // @Seafoambelly

✴ ⋆ ˚𓇼 ⋆ ˚✷
CAREGIVER OF THUNDERCLAN
she / her, afab (female)
86 moons old, ages on the 19th.
greywing x morningmist, littermate to seafoambelly, wavepaw
mentored by ruineyes, previously mentored lilacbranch, stagwhisper
mated to oleanderwish
mother to daturablossom, tulipmask, moonflowerheart, dandelionpaw, primrosemask, lupinehowl, comfreywhisker

SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION
penned by asteiri!
 

SEAFOAMBELLY
, 86 moons / THUNDERCLAN RANGER
A long-furred blue-gray she-cat with blue-green eyes.
Sister to URCHINSPINE
Solemn and distant. She doesn't talk much.

SPEECH || THOUGHTS
And that's curtains on my lovely lady Seafoambelly!


Seafoambelly smiled, her vision dark. She couldn't see Urchin or Wave anymore, if Wave had even actually been there in the first place.

"That... sounds nice," she mewed in response. "I'll make sure... to catch a big rabbit for us all to share?" She coughed, and the next words snagged in her throat. She hoped that maybe, if Wave were still there, he could tell Urchinspine what she wanted to say.

I love you, my dear sister. I forgive you.

As Seafoambelly's spirit faded from her body, the sigh of the loner queen joined her.

A single kit's wail broke the somber silence.

 
x

Urchin forced a smile as her sister rested quietly, nodding at her suggestion of a big rabbit for the family to share. She pushed her nose into her sister, body frail, broken. She sat there with her sister for a few fleeting moments, feeling the rise and fall of her chest eventually cease entirely, her heartbeat following soon after. Her face stayed pressed into her sister longer, fighting tears, guilt that consumed her being. Her eyes closed, praying to Starclan for safe passage.

Her blue eyes opened at the sound of a wail, a pathetic mewl from nearby. Her head turned, the queen was in a similar state, body slumped in the snow surrounded by blood from her delivery and whatever occurred before Urchin arrived. The small pathetic wails of the kit alerted Urchin, eyes watching the mother. She didn't move, didn't stir.

She too had joined Seafoam's journey to Starclan.

Urchin stood, bones aching. She walked towards the queen, pressing her nose to cold fur and prodding a few times to ensure she was truly gone. Leafbare was truly a terrible time to have kits. She padded towards the mewls, seeing a pathetic scrap of brown fur laying in the cold snow. Urchin looked towards the queen once more, and then towards her sister. This is what Seafoam died for, and Urchin was going to ensure that at least one life survived this night.

She licked the viscera from the kit, a gentle rasp of the tongue to warm the body that had come out crying in the cold white snow. After a few moments, she scooped up the kit in her maw. She gave her sister one last passing glance, fighting back the tears for this young life. Ensuring no monsters would claim her too, she dashed across the path with the kit in her jaws --- pushing into Thunderclan camp coated in the blood of her sister and the dead queen. Another hungry mouth to feed between her jaws, she was sure she would hear it from Loonstar and Owlbark --- not that she cared.

This kit was hers, what her sister had died for.

This was her redemption.

OOC // @Seafoambelly @SaffronkitTC
follow up thread to come! This one is finished <3

✴ ⋆ ˚𓇼 ⋆ ˚✷
CAREGIVER OF THUNDERCLAN
she / her, afab (female)
86 moons old, ages on the 19th.
greywing x morningmist, littermate to seafoambelly, wavepaw
mentored by ruineyes, previously mentored lilacbranch, stagwhisper
mated to oleanderwish
mother to daturablossom, tulipmask, moonflowerheart, dandelionpaw, primrosemask, lupinehowl, comfreywhisker

SPEECH // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION
penned by asteiri!
 
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