Private i'll probably run it into the ground // timber

[SABLESTAR]

Discovering the swamplands were inhabited by another cat or several did not surprise Sable so much as he hoped it wouldn't inconvenience him further. The longer the time dragged on and cats scoped out the lands by either sheer curiosity or collecting material, the more he secure he felt Timber was telling the truth of no one else crawling about. A cat responsible for the bellies of one other than himself was hard, a struggle he would find likeness in with his peers easily. It was a first step forward in the right direction, Sable imagined, for Timber to begin to settle.

"How is she holding up with moving around?" Such lack of routine must not be good for a kit. Sable thought of his own kithood, the paths his parents had him and Gray walk until they ended up at those big red doors of the barn. Alder had been their only shred of consistency, a doting grandmother as long as another pair of eyes could see. How little that lasted before fae cast the pair out again so not to crowd faer fields of corn and mice. He would make sure ShadowClan formed to the kind of Colony he always wanted Fray to form. One that did everything to ensure they all survived, not just by the individual.

"And how have you been? Still sleeping with one eye open?" He hoped that came off as a joke.

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• // @Timberfrost
  "mew"
• 

  SABLE— he/him ･fifty-two moons ･colonist ; no clan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes

 

[Timberfrost]

—————————————————— 'Till I can't run no more ✦

Timber couldn't help but startle a bit as a voice, one that was growing with familiarity, greeted him. "Good to see you, Sablestar." He responded back warmly, smiling at the tom. His smile wavered a bit at the question from the leader, though, and he looked away for a moment. "Better than she would've been doing alone." The tom answered truthfully, some troubled thought derailing him as he kept his eyes away from Sable. He hated thinking about exactly how things would've gone if he hadn't set out with her, if things at home hadn't gone the way they had. The tom shook his head, knocking that line of thought off its tracks - this was his home now, not what came before. "She's had some trouble getting used to-" He gestured at the sodden ground around them. "All of this." He swallowed weakly, his mind going over the last pawful of months alone. It still hadn't quite clicked with him that he wouldn't be going back to that. There were cats there for him now, despite his mind thinking otherwise. "She's strong, though. Like her mother." The tom chuckled to himself, finally looking towards his companion. "I'm hoping she doesn't have to be strong anymore, though. She deserves to feel safe here. All of the kits do." Shuffling his paws, Timber couldn't help but draw some comparisons between him and Stoatkit, how they both had to spend far too much of their young lives fighting in a world that they shouldn't have had to. Not at such a young age. "I'm hoping all of this can end with her. She might remember these last few cold, hungry moons, but-" He shook his head tiredly. "It shouldn't be a norm for all them. Not anymore."

Thankfully, he was able to pick up on the undertones of humor on Sablestar's words, and the brown tom couldn't help but grin at him. "HA!" He barked a laugh. "If sleeping at all! I think some of the kits think I'm some sort of toy to chew on or somethin'. I love them, I really do, but I'm not sure if my legs can say the same." Eyes glittering with amusement, the tom cocked his head to the side at the leader beside him. "I'm sure you've had a sleepless night or two yourself. I'm not sure how well I'd be able to deal with cleaning up the messes of full grown cats. It's enough work as it is trying to act as peacemaker between kits." Joking like this was one of the few things Timber fell upon over the last few moons, something that was always there even when bellies were empty or the sun hadn't been out in days. He just hoped that the leader shared the same sentiment.

It's true, I want to be with you tonight

But I'm a little too late

• 
  Timber
  ✦—Shadowclan Caregiver
  ✦—He/Him
  ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  ✦—A large chocolate tabby with pale gold eyes
  #9A775A

 

[SABLESTAR]

Despite the biting welcome he had been given, Timber still seemed in good spirits. A relief for someone he had sought for more understanding of the territory, even if the tom hadn't been here very long before they arrived. It was useful to have someone who could bounce back quickly in the mess of this chaos, even if it didn't look as unsteady as it felt. Growing pains still stretched across them, but at the very least they weren't enduring it all alone. Learning right beside a leader, did that make this better or worse?

"She has more than just you to count on, must take some of the stress off." Even if Ember and Cherry were first-time parents, so was Timber. He briefly wondered if there was some sort of solidarity built within that. Was his new Clan actually forming together? Or were they just cat working beside cat, wanting to survive another day but begrudgingly alongside another. "And more friends her age. Won't have to be the one to entertain her all the time."

Timber speaks of something more hopeful, and Sablestar hummed in agreement. With any luck and effort all the youth in the Clan would leave behind more memories of play and warm nests than hunger and blood. Not all of it would go away, but maybe it would make it easier to move on from.

"I find little difference between them, sometimes." Kits and grown cats could blur together easily between petty squabbles. "It only changes when it becomes real- dangerous. At first it was just bickering and whining. But it started to build up, hunger would never leave. Desperation made for bad hunting. And Hawthorne would wake up every day to see it and not say or do a thing about it. Wasting prey he caught on his father who wouldn't even chew his own food anymore." Wasteful, in the end.

"So we split. Hawthorne was losing the support of the Colony and because I was willing to condemn him for his neglect they rallied behind me. I was even attacked for it, I hadn't shed blood but I did retaliate... We tried to use the night to overwhelm them and see reason but clearly," Sablestar looked more amused as he looked around them. "it worked out differently for us."

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• "mew"
• 

  SABLESTAR— he/him ･fifty-four moons ･leader; shadowclan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes

 

[Timberfrost]

—————————————————— 'Till I can't run no more ✦

"I suppose so..." The tom answered quietly, brow furrowed in silent thought. It was nice to have companionship now, to not have to worry if he looked away from his daughter for more than a second ... theoretically, at least. A sickening feeling always crept up his spine when he realized he hadn't seen Stoatkit in a few minutes, a natural distrust of others he had grown far too accustomed to. "It's strange, being around others again. She's... different than the other kits." Timber grimaced at his own use of the word, but it felt more than fitting. It wasn't necessarily a bad thing, it was just a fact that he found himself dwelling on for far too long in the night. Something that wouldn't get out of his head, echoing louder every time the little white cat spoke to anyone but him. "I guess I didn't have to worry about that when it was just Stoat and I. I'm not used to havin' to worry in this way, I guess." He chuckled weakly, curling his white tail around his paws. It had become somewhat stained by the muck of the earth around them, he hardly had the time to focus on cleaning it before he found himself with this group. Nowadays, the dark muddy streaks just felt a part of him.

At the leader's words on the differences between a kitten fight and a warrior disagreement, Timber found himself nodding along. It was so, so much easier to control the consequences of a kitten squabble. It hardly ever turned deadly, something that couldn't be talked out, only spelled in blood. "I used to be part of a group of four." The tom reminisced solemnly, thinking back to the countless days he spent by the water with his friends. He never thought he would leave that place, yet here he was. His fate from here on out was as unsure as the tides of the water back home. Sometimes it almost seemed predictable, but then he'd find by the next day the path he would have grown so used to walking out was washed out by a storm.

"I made the decision in the end. To leave." The tom looked over towards Sablestar, a sort of gentle understanding in his golden eyes. The dark cat was far older than the tom, almost certainly by many, many moon cycles, yet Timber couldn't help but feel sympathetic for the situation that he had been placed in. "Perhaps it worked out for the best in the end. Nothing will ever change what has been lost of course, but..." The tom smiled gently, eyes crinkling as he looked at the other. "This clan was formed on a basis of needing one another, and I'm glad that I—and my daughter—can be a part of something like that again. Means a lot that us leaving was the right choice."

It's true, I want to be with you tonight

But I'm a little too late

• 
  Timber
  ✦—Shadowclan Caregiver
  ✦—He/Him
  ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
  ✦—A large chocolate tabby with pale gold eyes
  #9A775A

 

[SABLESTAR]

'Different' is an odd way to hear someone describe their kit, Sablestar couldn't help but notice. He wondered what about Stoatkit made Timber think of her that way that he hadn't seen in another kit before. She was certainly quiet, but was it so different from skittish Smudgepaw? Or the quiet, watchfulness of Nightkit? Maybe he just hadn't been paying much attention to notice anything special himself. The kits and their caretakers weren't much of a worry as long as they looked fed in the end.

It is a reassurance of some kind that Timber wasn't new to a world like the one they had just endured. A smaller scale, but a separation in the end. He knew the fear of uncertainty, the doubt of his own decisions. Did he truly feel it was the right one now, as Sablestar did, or was this just a better situation than he had before?

"It's an entire change... more than just wearing new names and fancy titles. I saw it." Sablestar's voice softened as he recalled the painful memories of the lives Fleecefur gave him. Each one more painful than the last, clutching his heart so tightly he thought it might burst. "They lived and breathed for this life. A devotion I'd never seen before, a faith placed in a structure that once thrived here... I wonder what happened to them." Maybe Fleecefur's dissent of madness killed them all. Or whatever pansy-pawed leader she failed to succeed drowned them in doom.

"It was something closer than the Colony, than any family, really. It's hard to explain from the glimpses I saw but... I want that for us. I want that ShadowClan to live again."

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• "mew"
• 

  SABLESTAR— he/him ･fifty-four moons ･leader; shadowclan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes