Private i'm a pale imitation | LITTLEKIT

[Magpiepaw]

He'll learn your face by heart

BUT YOU'LL BE IN BLACK & WHITE IN HIS EYES

Being back in ThunderClan, it was warming. It felt safe here in a way he was still not fully adapted to in ShadowClan - he liked it there fine, but there was something about the scent of the nest from his kithood that made him settle into sleep far easier. Thought Timberfrost was warm, his mother would always be warmer. Seeing Asterkit again was pleasant too, even if the other was still all snot and sniffles, Magpiepaw wonders how things would have been different if they didn't go to ShadowClan and selfishly rejects the notion - in ShadowClan he was learning much about things that interested him while he knew he would not have been given the same attention from Serpentberry as Cicadabuzz, she had her own student already. It was as he turned to tuck himself closer to the chocolate tabby leader that his eyes briefly fluttered open and a light outside the den made him blink wearily in its direction. At first he thought the sun, but the cricket song was still too shrill and he knew time enough had not passed. Rousing slowly the black and white kitten stretched his legs before hobbling out of the leader's den, following the subtle glow in the distance just outside the edge of the camp and into the darkness of the pines. There he saw a cat, a kitten really, around his size but seeming almost larger due to the halo of light ringing their pelt.
He was a newborn when he first met and lost his sibling, Magpiepaw does not truly recall those earlier days outside the scent of milk and the feeling of security-the way Juniperstar curled ever tighter around her remaining three as if to prevent them also being swept away in StarClan's embrace. Despite this, somehow, he inherently knows who the other strange kitten is - there is a similarity to their mother, eyes amber rimmed like their father but without his almost lofty egotism present in them. Magpiepaw knows this is his littermate, the one he never got to know but who shines now like a beacon in this chilled night and draws him ever closer, "Are you here to see me?"
He had seen ghosts before, ShadowClan was no stranger to spirits though those had been placated now it seems, but this was the first time one truly glowed before him in such a way, the stars dappling a chocolate hide and lacing along intricate stripes drew his violet gaze in the mesmerizing way any sparkling trinket might.
"Why haven't you visited before?" The dark kitten couldn't miss what he didn't know, but he was upset all the same that this was a possibility that had not yet been delved into.

In the flick of a feather, he flies to your side

MAGPIEKIT

— kitten of shadowclan
— He/They
"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
— Solid black w/low white & blue-violet eyes.
— Has 'wobbly cat' syndrome.
#9272ee

 

[Littlekit]

(Cause I) don't want to live my life alone,

(Well I) was waiting for you all my life...

​

---

LITTLEKIT, They/Them / 4 moons / Starclan - Kit
Black self / Cinnamon ticked tabby chimera with a pronounced right fang
Child of JUNIPERSTAR and SABLESTAR, Sibling to MAGPIEKIT, DREAMKIT and ASTERKIT
Calculating, Apprehensive, Fearful, Shy and lost little soul...
Tagging [@]

---

Ever since they had seen Gladebloom, Littlekit had been trying to see if they could reach other cats, and they had... Some luck, if randomly jumpscaring cats for a split second in a dream could be considered luck. It was weird, and it made no sense! How was it that reaching Gladebloom was so easy by comparison even with Littlekit's skillset? Did it have something to do with how medicine cats were connected to Starclan? It must be that way...

However, that didn't explain how compared to most cats Littlekit could so easily 'see' the times that their direct kin had been dreaming. At least their mother and siblings, there was still that shroud of uncertainty and unease around 'father', which Littlekit just refused to call him for reasons that the little spirit couldn't properly explain or understand.

It was only a few times that Littlekit had managed to project their existence into the living world, and outside of that singular instance where their immediate family were all in one place, those visits were criminally short! Ugh, how unfair! Littlekit grumbled and huffed, wandering around the endlessness of Starclan's great and immeasurable territory. Avoiding the grown ups as much as they could aside from maybe a few like mister Thornstar; who Littlekit felt safe around for some reason, Wildrose; who empathized with them or Milkbelly; who was relaxed and sorta goofy in a welcoming way. The issue with trying to seek those three out is the possibility of running into other dumb grownups, especially that Willowleaf. Littlekit almost snarled at the thought of them.

Either way, Littlekit was on their own trying to figure it all out. So they had to make do. In their wandering, Littlekit thought of their family. Mama Juniper, the source of first and probably only warmth they ever got and giver of their name. Magpie, Aster and Dream— their siblings, kin that they wished with all their heart to run alongside, to protect and show love to. Littlekit had briefly glimpsed their dreams every now and then and saw the three grow without them. Or, at least that's what they thought. They might not have noticed, but Littlekit did grow alongside their siblings.

Being with their family would be what made them happiest, to grow and live with them. So, Starclan in all of its infinity granted this wish to the purity of Littlekit's very soul; that capacity to grow.

The missing piece was simply to be with their family. Though it was possible with enough time that Littlekit could achieve this on their own, perhaps?

Like right now.

Unknowingly, Littlekit in their sort of trance had passed the barrier of life and death, their spiritual form manifesting at the edges of Thunderclan's camp. They hadn't noticed this had happened, and even if they did they would likely lament that such a stay would be short too. It wasn't as though any living cats could see them, so it was pointless, wasn't it?

Not so.

Littlekit was brought out of their trance by a voice, familiar in all the ways that mattered and that voice was addressing them. Looking over to the source, Littlekit saw Magpie, and in the same moment saw Magpie seeing them in return. The concept of being seen, in general, but by family drew Littlekit's stunned gaze in the same way their glittering pelt did for Magpie.

"M-magpie..? You-" Littlekit sputtered, moved to tears. "You can see me...? How- wh- How can you see me..? Nobody else did whenever I came here. I've been trying everything to come back! I don't get to stay for long. Something always pulls me away..." Wait, this meant they were in the living realm again! They did not yet feel the pressure that would yank them away either. "... I don't feel that pull right now though."

---

Oh, oh, oh, why...

Set me free...

​

 

[Magpiepaw]

He'll learn your face by heart

BUT YOU'LL BE IN BLACK & WHITE IN HIS EYES

"...are you in StarClan? They said that's where you went." When he once chirped queries on the lost sibling he was comforted with tales of a place unburdened by the trials of life where prey ran plenty and no one fought, where cats could not be hurt and could rest with ease. StarClan was not a topic he heard much of in ShadowClan, while Serpentberry and Rowanpaw openly discussed having visits and dreams and even offering the word as a prayer for good fortune and favor in patrols and outings, he did not recall it being mentioned in the same sort of reverence in the marsh. It was not something he thought about much until now, until an actual cat wreathed in light stood before him and spoke his name.

"I wish I got to meet you, but I'm glad I can now." How he could see Littlekit was both curious and also something he didn't think was too important, he'd seen spirits before in ShadowClan - rippling images in the distance, shadows dancing over stone walls. His sibling seemed more solid though, more real, and he raised a dark paw as it to touch with his toes flexing as they seemed to move through nothingness where a heart once beat. Where he expected cold there was only a lingering warmth, it felt like being a newborn again, curled amidst the other three of his litter and comfortably safe in the curl of Juniperstar's body; his eyes burned with tears but they did not shed. "Is there a way I can see you more? Like how Serpentberry and Rowanpaw can..." A way to feel connected still to ThunderClan, even at a distance, a string tying them all together; it would be nice to hear how his mother and Asterkit were doing with brief visits from their ethereal sibling, he could even ask about other cats there who he remembered being kind.

In the flick of a feather, he flies to your side

MAGPIEKIT

— kitten of shadowclan
— He/They
"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
— Solid black w/low white & blue-violet eyes.
— Has 'wobbly cat' syndrome.
#9272ee

 

[Littlekit]

(Cause I) don't want to live my life alone,

(Well I) was waiting for you all my life...

​

---

LITTLEKIT, They/Them / 4 moon / Starclan - Kit
Black self / Cinnamon ticked tabby chimera with a pronounced right fang
Child of JUNIPERSTAR and SABLESTAR, Sibling to MAGPIEKIT, DREAMKIT and ASTERKIT
Calculating, Apprehensive, Fearful, Shy and lost little soul...
Tagging [@]

---

Ugh. Starclan. Littlekit huffed slightly, Magpie was right on the money. "Yeah..." Of course, Littlekit wasn't at all enthused, they didn't really want to think about it though they weren't going to leave their brother in the dark. "It's a big place. Really big. Really really big. You can hunt and play as much as you like, and I've not seen anyone get hurt either. I dunno how to really put it, but the other cats there said it's like..." Littlekit's expression saddened, as their body drooped a bit. "A reward for being good. For.. For having lived a good life." The one thing they never got the chance to experience, as such the weight of Starclan was simultaneously so unimaginably heavy to them and also nearly nonexistent. "I do believe them, yanno. It just... Doesn't feel like that to me." They mumbled.

Upon Magpie voicing that he was glad to finally meet them, Littlekit's mood was lifted back up like a flash of light, it was almost as if their pelt sparkled even more! "Ouehhh... Snff, I wish I got to meet you and the others properly too!" Just getting blurry visions and muffled sounds through dreams wasn't much— it was basically nothing compared to this sort of moment. "You have no idea how hard I've tried... At least I know I can do this!" The question was, for how long and how often?

Blinking curiously as Magpie raised a paw, Littlekit let out a giggle as if they were being tickled by the gesture of their brother reaching a paw through where their heart would be. It was strange, Littlekit also felt the warmth, the warmth of that first and only real moment of it, the moment where they were given their name, the feeling of home. For a moment, the infinity beyond the veil that gave them their shining stars was muffled. This feeling, as strong as it was, was only brief.

Yet it still managed to exist— a miracle.

"Hwuh?" Brought back from a sort of spaced out trance, Littlekit looked back to Magpie, without even thinking about it, Littlekit was instinctively wishing to rest their head against their brother to comfort them. "I mean, if I can get here once by myself I can do it again right?" Still, the question was, for how long and how often?

The mention of the other names was interesting, Littlekit was sure they had heard those before. "Oh? Serpentberry and Rowanpaw? I feel like I've heard other cats in Starclan talk about them, who are they?" If Littlekit's assumption was correct, they were likely to be a medicine cat of and their apprentice, and if Littlekit was certain of where they currently were, they were of Thunderclan.

---

Oh, oh, oh, why...

Set me free...

​

 

[Magpiepaw]

& I don't know what's got its TEETH in me

It was real. Not that he was very skeptical to begin with, but his fur prickled in delight at the knowledge, death had never scared him in the way kittens often didn't consider the ramifications of it, never considered his mortality or others. Living and thinking of when it would just stop was the worry of cats who had lived lives long enough to know how quickly they could also end. Magpiepaw winces sympathetically to the murmured descent, understanding in a way that being somewhere away from your family was not enjoyable no matter how pleasant a place; he liked ShadowClan but his heart ached for curling back into the nest alongside Juniperstar, with Asterkit and Dreamkit alongside him.
"They're medicine cats, and I'm one now too and they could talk to the stars and I think-I think I can now too and that's why I see you but I wasn't sure if...you had to do something? Or I have to do something? Cicadabuzz never talked about this." He'd never exactly asked either, he occasionally mewed a 'thank the stars' in quip and had never really been silenced - just a habit he had from being raised in ThunderClan where cats said it all the time. ShadowClan not so much really, not that he could remember nor had he been thinking about it too much enough to notice.
"Will you visit me more now that we know you can?" A little piece of ThunderClan just for him in ShadowClan - a part of him felt ashamed at his selfishness, that he could not share this with Dreamkit but surely his brother would understand that it was different being a medicine cat.

Ooc- ooc info here.

I dream in phosphorescence - Bleed through spaces

MAGPIEKIT

— kitten of shadowclan
— He/They
"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK
— Solid black w/low white & blue-violet eyes.
— Has 'wobbly cat' syndrome.
#9272ee