Camp WindClan let grief be a falling leaf // comettail

[owlbear]

There's something Owlbear's gotta do. She has been putting it off for too long… clouded by her own grief, busy with kits and family. But now the dust has settled, Windclan has taken shape, slowly but surely. Now she must make things right– her father wouldn't want her leaving young Comet to wallow any longer. She is sure Comet blames himself, because in a delirious moment of pain and grief, Owlbear had blamed him too. But not anymore. She blames her father… her father, who was good till the very end, never putting himself first… if she could be even a little bit like him…

She finds Comet in the camp, and picks up a piece of freshkill on her way to him– something to break the ice. Once she's reached him, she puts down the mouse, and touches her tail to his shoulder.

"Comet, darlin', how're you doing?" She asks, voice soft and round at the edges. "We didn' really get a chance to talk, did we? Since the fire, I mean. And I feel awful bad about that, 'cause you know we– Hoot, me and Chicken, and Bushrunner too, and the kits– we always thought of you as one of our own, didn' we? You're part of the flock. And I've been leavin' you out in the cold, and I'm real sorry about that. The kits are dyin' to get to know their cousin, you know?" She cracks a smile here, pushing the mouse towards him. "So don't go avoidin' them anymore, alright? They love playin' with you. And it'd give me some peace of mind, knowin' you were keepin' an eye on 'em too."

i can't look at the stars

they make me wonder where you are

• ooc: @Comettail
• 

  Owlbear, - 50 moons / windclan warrior
  peaceful powerplay allowed

 

[Comettail]

Well I'm still here...
They can't tell me who to be... Cuz I'm not what they see—​

---

COMET(TAIL), He/Him / 7 moons / Barn Cat (Future Windclan Apprentice)
Short fur black self tom with low white and fluffy tail + ginger somatic mutation in tail, bright yellow eyes
Son of ASTRO and NEBULA, Sibling to TWINKLE(TUFT), & ECLIPSE(SHADE)
Doesn't typically sit still, Quick on his paws and with his wits, Mischievous and a bit of a prankster but not unkind
Tagging [@]

---

Having spoken to Dustystar not too long ago about recent events was... Freeing. There was little else that Comet could think of to explain it. The young cat properly apologized for his recent outburst towards her for one, and that being done alone allowed a fair bit of emotional weight to fall from his shoulders. He made his truth known, and he felt good about that.

Even so, his heart was still stuck in the abyss, weighed down by guilt over what happened at the barn, the fire had taken so much from everyone around him and he blamed himself for Hoot's death just as much as he had done since that tragedy. The same few thoughts stuck in Comet's head on repeat— 'If only I was stronger. If only I was faster. If only I had waited like I was told to.'

What use was his supposed speed now anyway? He hadn't bothered to go much faster than a hurried pace since then, he hadn't been running in a while. When he needed it most it was an abysmal, miserable failure. The one thing he thought he was even remotely decent at, and it was worthless. Did that mean he was the same? Worthless?

It frustrated Comet to no end, and if there was one thing that he couldn't outrun as far as he knew, it was his own mind. He wanted all of this fire and smoke in his head to go away!

Since he was stuck in his own head, Comet hadn't noticed Owlbear's approach, and he almost jumped right out of his fur when he heard her voice, let alone register her tail touching him. Did he even dare to look at her? What did she want with him? Didn't he put her through enough already? Comet meeped pathetically as he slowly turned around to face Owlbear, subconsciously making himself look smaller as if he just wanted to evaporate on the spot and go unnoticed. Yet, he wouldn't dare to slink away, he was petrified exactly where he was, trying to piece everything together in his head.

Owlbear was speaking to him, speaking to him as if nothing was wrong, as if he was blameless and not a reminder of her grief. No, the truth was she saw him as kin, an honorary cousin to her three kittens. Comet couldn't believe it, but he knew deep down that she wasn't lying. But why did she think of him as worthy of such praise?

"W... Wh-"

---

Yeah the world is still sleepin' when I keep on dreamin' for me,
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe!​

​

 

[owlbear]

She feels Comet tense in her presence, heart tightening with regret. She shouldn't have let it get this far… shouldn't have left him to his thoughts for so long. She purrs softly in an attempt to soothe him, and curls her long tail around him, drawing him closer.

"I'm sorry sweetheart," Owlbear meows, "I should've told you sooner that I don't blame you, shouldn't I? How could you have predicted what'd happen, let alone bear any blame for it…? You loved old Hoot as much as anyone." She sighs, looking out over the moor, towards the barn which stands like a black dot in the distance. "I don't blame anyone but that damn fire, and neither does Chicken for that matter. And Hoot…" She looks back down at Comet. "Hoot saved you so you could live, Comet. Not mope around and blame yourself. He saved you so you can keep runnin', so you can be with Eclipse, so a piece of him can live in you and watch his grand kits grow up. That's what I believe, anyway. And I'm his daughter, ain't I? I should know." She smiles again, gently, her eyes that her father gave her twinkling warmly in the new leaf sun.

i can't look at the stars

they make me wonder where you are

• ooc: -
• 

  Owlbear, - 50 moons / windclan warrior
  peaceful powerplay allowed

 

[Comettail]

Well I'm still here...
They can't tell me who to be... Cuz I'm not what they see—​

---

COMET(TAIL), He/Him / 7 moons / Windclan Apprentice
Short fur black self tom with low white and fluffy tail + ginger somatic mutation in tail, bright yellow eyes
Son of ASTRO and NEBULA, Sibling to TWINKLE(TUFT), & ECLIPSE(SHADE)
Doesn't typically sit still, Quick on his paws and with his wits, Mischievous and a bit of a prankster but not unkind
Tagging [@]

---

Comet's mind was racing all over the place, it was escaping his already weak grasp. He was so sure, so certain of what he saw as his own wrongdoing that he couldn't fathom anything else to be the truth. As such, he had no physical strength to try and move away. Still, he did not think he was worthy of Owlbear's kindness.

His mind was on fire of self-doubt, clouded with smoke of guilt. Why was she apologizing? He was the one that did something wrong, as far as he knew. Comet's eyes looked out into the moor as well, to the remnants of the barn in the distance, the sight of his failure to for once in his life, sit still and wait when it mattered. "B-but... I messed up. I should be the one apologizing..." At this point, Comet had no strength left to cry, he felt that only dust and ash would come out. He also found himself nearly unable to sit up straight, he wanted to just flop to the ground but something stopped him alongside Owlbear's support.

"Why didn't I just wait..." The answer was obvious, he wanted to be sure Eclipse, Hoot and Bushrunner were safe. Eclipse is his brother, Hoot came to be a wise mentor figure and Bushrunner is as brave and admirable as they came. Eclipse was terrified and needed help, Hoot for all his wisdom was an elderly cat, and Comet couldn't just let Burshrunner endanger themselves so readily when they were to be parents to Owlbear's kittens.

It wasn't right to just sit there, to not to try and help them. So in that moment he ran with the wind, faster than he ever did before... Only to fail. But did he truly fail? He thought he did.

However, Comet was now realizing something. He was the only one that had ever said he failed. Nobody else did, only himself. The ones he thought would... Just didn't. Chickensractch never treated him differently, Owlbear was under the pain and stress of kitting and ultimately had no intention to blame it all on him. Hoot, the wily old geezer, saved Comet's life with a smile on his face as though he was walking on air even in a perilous situation?

What did it take to be a cat like that?

"Seems like I've spent my whole life hoping, dreaming of things I've never tried, tangled in knots just waiting for my time to shine..." Once again, Comet had uttered a phrase from one of Hoot's many stories in more confidence than anything he had said a few moments prior. It was from a story about a cat that wanted to live up to something, to do good, to be good. Hoot may not be among the living, but his stories? They were timeless, and would continue to be so long as they were told. Parts of him that would continue to live on in others, just as Owlbear had said.

---

Yeah the world is still sleepin' when I keep on dreamin' for me,
And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe!​

​