Private PLEASE UNDERSTAND + juniperstar and serpentberry

[OWLBARK]

Owlbark had not slept after the gathering. It was imperative that he stayed vigil in front of his leader's den and insure no hawks or vultures swooped in to steal another life from his leader. He was only 50 or so moons (he had lost count), but he felt old. His bones hurt and his paws were so heavy. Perhaps it was the stress he felt or maybe it really was the moons he had lived finally collecting their payment. Or perhaps it was the sin everyone said he committed slowly poisoning him.

The tabby tom sat outside the leader's den and watched as the sun crept over the horizon, as if shy to see what had transpired the night before. He closed his eyes and tilted his head back. Every movement felt incredibly tiring. A quiet groan escaped him as he shifted his head to stretch out his neck muscles. StarClan, have mercy on his weary bones. Owlbark rose to his paws and stretched on his back slowly, feeling every vertebrae shift with the movement.

He turned to move into the den, looking over the spotted tabby and tortoiseshell closer than he felt he should be able to observe. He cleared his throat and moved in further to sit near the pair. "I'd like to explain myself, if you'll permit, Juniperstar," he whispered. He didn't care if Serpentberry was present. Nearly the whole clan was witness to his confession at the gathering. They all saw he was the reason their gentle and kind leader was slain in front of her child and clanmates.

i turned 'round and there you go *ੈ✩‧₊˚

• ooc: @juniperstar and @serpentberry
  
• 

  ☾ OWLBARK
  ☾ THUNDERCLAN DEPUTY
  ☾ 51 moons, ages every 1st of the month
  ☾ open to peaceful interactions
  ☾ "SPEECH #687A63"
  ☾ penned by muddly

• toyhouse
  playlist
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[serpentberry serpentberry]

She had to have fallen asleep. There's no other explaination for how the sun eventually streams over her eyelids, and she must force them to open, rouse herself awake. Serpentberry feels a roil of disgust in the pits of her stomach, knowing that at some point her body gave in to exhaustion. She lifts her crown to peer towards Juniperstar, entangled in her limbs. Her gaze flutters over the soft underfur of the other's throat, as if she can see the stars that have sewn the scars shut.

Before she can say much, do much - a shadow blocks out the sun that disturbed her rest. Venom green eyes turn towards Owlbark, first with disdain, then with faux delight. "Owl," she greets him, her throat hoarse from just one night without it, "You almost look like a kicked puppy; all you need is your tail between your legs ~" A taunt, spilled with sharp teeth and half lidded eyes. "We would've let you sleep inside if you asked," she lies. His mess, quite literally, cost them Juniperstar's life. Serpentberry could not care less of the lost SkyClanner, more that Owlbark did a horrid job of executioner when he acted upon it. She would've sooner send him to stand amidst a monsoon with nothing to keep him rooted to the ground.

He implores their leader to listen, and Serpentberry takes that as a sign to quiet down. Where the echoes of her snarky tone came the whispers of his pleading one. She reclined against Juniperstar, her cheek pressed to the other's side, listening for her breath, feeling for her pulse, but all the more staying out of the discussion for a moment. She can afford them brevity and space, but since it seems neither are keen on her disappearance yet, she doesn't act on making it real.

 

[juniperstar juniperstar]

juniper

cw; gore, marked by *

finding sleep wasn't as difficult as she thought it might be. despite the cold quiet of death, it had done little in the way of offering her any real rest. Thornstar's tired stare and the way his light seemed to fray at the edges still haunted her thoughts, but they were not phantoms so harrowing as the backdrop of the moon highlighting the very fangs that would be her undoing. the soft hissing breath of her medicine cat had been a more than acceptable lullaby, clinging closely to her side with a resolute and simmering glower of emerald greens left to stare out into the distance. she didn't remember tucking her nose into the soft furs near the other molly's chest... just the warmth of her company, the guilt to have worried her enough to be here tonight...

*then the sound of her own throat collapsing under the pressure of someone else's bite... the overwhelming smell of her own blood as she'd lurched forward... the freezing cold of the air as it brushed past exposed flesh in a horrifying and new sensation. and it repeats. one.... two... three.... four...... five......... six...........

seven. the light cuts across her eyes as the tortoiseshell at her side stirs, seafoam eyes squinting at Serpentberry as she perks up rigidly. "Hmm?" a tired croak that grates out like stones struggling to grind against each other. a presence announces itself... and she finds him too, looming like a sentry with a soft sort of shame shimmering in the background behind him. her medicine cat speaks before she finds her bearings to, curt and cloying in perfect balance.

had he really sat outside the den all night? Juniperstar hadn't noticed... hadn't spent the energy looking after who might be fussing over her beyond the breath of the she-cat next to her. she'd just assumed he'd... go on... like he always did. it's then that she realizes... she hadn't misjudged her bargain, that he really was far more shaken to have failed her than to have failed himself. what a stupid gamble to have been right about.. what a miserable one. the adder lets its tongue slide past its teeth with one more biting remark, silenced only by Owlbark's insistence he plead his case to the spotted tabby in question. she lounges against her instead, leaving space for their conversation, even if Juniperstar would really rather go back to sleep knowing a snake coils protectively around her.

"What-" and her voice cracks with exhaustion, something she stumbles over with a deep breath before trying again. "What is there... to explain, Owlbark?" was his conscience that guilty that he wanted a moment to explain every painstaking detail? to hear her say he was right, without a doubt?

──✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮

• juniperstar leader of thunderclan seven lives remain

  ignore me

 

[OWLBARK]

Owlbark wasn't blind. He could see the way his friend's eyes shift from anger to that saccharine sweetness Serpentberry was so keen to display. It was the reason he liked her so much. Despite the medicine cat's efforts, her true emotions leaked through. There was no political deceit to keep him placated that other cats seemed to show him. He found emotions hard to decipher, and Serpent made it so simple. He flicked his ear at the shortening of his name and still thought to himself how intimate that felt. She was his favorite open book, no matter how much she tried to hide that.

The deputy also couldn't blame her for the venom in her serpentine eyes. If he could stand outside himself, he would also be hissing and flashing claws. He couldn't shake the self-deprecation that emerged when he thought of Juniperstar's throat pulled out by the SkyClan leader's teeth. All of the "should"s raced through his mind. I should have stepped up and insisted my life be taken. I should have spoken better and convinced Hawkstar. I should have held back my claws when attacked. I should have never become deputy. I should... He looked away from the pair as his pelt grew hot and tears pricked his eyes.

All of the "should"s kept going further and further back in his mind.

What is there to explain, Owlbark? Her voice is so raspy and weak. She assumed he wanted to tell her of the killing of Rosebelly. He had said all he could think to say in front of that crowd of cats. All who spat murderer and would label him that for the rest of his days.

"I am scared," he said. His voice was barely louder than the trio's breaths. The privacy of this den drug it out of him. "I have been scared my entire life, and I don't think it will ever fade. I have lost everyone I have cared about at every turn of my life, and now you are one step closer to me losing another." He thought of Thornstar, yes, but his twolegs were the biggest thing weighing on his mind.

Before he could stop himself, the tom began to explain something he had never wanted to reveal to anyone. It was embarrassing and shameful and sad. He had been a kittypet in his past. Even before being Owl, he was Henry. A tiny kitten being pampered and fed by twolegs who gave him anything he wanted. He had loved that life, and craved it on his worst days. They left him, though, and he hid Henry away inside of himself and became Owl.

"When you walked up there, Juniper, I felt like Henry again." If he had looked like a kicked puppy before, he now looked like one who only wanted to please after being beaten down over and over and over again.

i turned 'round and there you go *ੈ✩‧₊˚

• ooc: -
  
• 

  ☾ OWLBARK
  ☾ THUNDERCLAN DEPUTY
  ☾ 51 moons, ages every 1st of the month
  ☾ open to peaceful interactions
  ☾ "SPEECH #687A63"
  ☾ penned by muddly

• toyhouse
  playlist
  pinterest

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