Private Said goodbye || admitting

[flowercloud]

Ok one last ugly post, will fix all this later //
@Rosepaw @cygnetpaw @Teaselpaw @Noia

A long days travel, and they were still here in the gorge. It made her uneasy to rest here, when the travels through were risky already. Her heart still banged against the cage of her ribs as she thought about the fact this area scared her. Her- who rarely ever showed the fear, but it wrapped around jerky motions, or startled jumps.

Her breath escaped slowly, as she called for her children. It was so hard to call them 'kits' anymore, the words rumbling so forced as she turned it to calling their names towards her. With a greeting, she'd nuzzle against those that would let her, before settling down to huddle against herself. Fur flooded, trying to gain warmth in the bitter night with the sun drowned over the horizon.

"I'm sorry, for the lack of words earlier. You guys are my everything. You deserve more of an explanation, than I've given." Regret drenched her features as if she woke up suddenly, if she could sweat, she would probably be soaked in it, in the nervousness she felt now.

"Your father and I broke up, just before the journey. I tried- I really tried to have him come. But, he failed to realized each of your strengths. He stated I was bringing you to your... Deaths. That being here, in Skyclan, would kill you guys. But I won't let that happen. He refused to come, and in turn... Decided it was in his own interest to try to take one of you along. Unfortunately, that is the only explanation I have as to why he tried to take you back to the twoleg place, Cygnetpaw." Her words were soft, green eyes searching their own eyes, ears pinned back in dismay. Her heart wrenched as she thought about making the journey with Crowsight beside them, finally enjoying their presence as she had. But he cared not of them. He cared for his own safety, and he made that clear, she felt.

"I didn't want to upset you guys. I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

 

[Teaselpaw]

TEASELPAW

Over hill, over dale, through the valley and vale do not weep, do not wail, I am coming home to you

Teaselpaw listened with a quiet understanding, though they couldn't help the way their eyes widened just a tad bit, the words sinking into their mind like a certain weight trying to pull them under... They knew Crowsight wasn't a large presence in their life, they knew that the other often returned to their two-leg home, under the impression that the kits were good with their mother... And yes, Crowsight hadn't been there when they left... But they thought the other would join them too, just like Cygnetpaw had believed. Surely the other wouldn't have just left them behind... But as Flowercloud stood before them, they realized... That Crowsight would not rejoin them... The words echoed in their mind, and in their own sense they hurt... Crowsight had never been quite taken by the young chocolate torbie, but now they feared they would never have a chance to create a bond with their father.

Perhaps it was their silence that had caused the other to be so cold to them.... Perhaps their silence was... A problem to others. It caused their ears to flit down for a second, eyes finding their siblings in an almost questioning matter. They felt their fur bristle faintly, born out of confusion and fear. A small shake to their resolve and contentness of being quiet. Crowsight had left them all. Their mismatched hues meet the ground, unable to look their mother in the eyes, throat tight.

Did Rose, Cygnet and Lavender feel the same kind of betrayal and uncertainty? Did they feel like they were tredging uncertain waters...? There was a hurt that pooled in their eyes as they gazed down at the ground, body tense. But their mother was here... Their siblings were here, atleast. They hadn't left. They wouldn't leave... Would they? A small noise of sadness was given as the torbie pressed themselves against their mother's fur, seeking reassurance, as fleeting as it could be. Their body shook slightly, enough that they were certain their mother would feel it... It wasn't out of anger, it was the feeling of being l o s t... And wondering why things had to be the way it was.

Their heart felt so very small for all the emotions that cropped up within it, and as strong as they had tried to be, for now they just wanted to know whether they still had each other. That what they had here wouldn't fade away. That this... This would stay.

"We still... Have eachother, right...?" the voice was quiet, hesitant to be heard.

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