Camp ShadowClan silent comfort // stoat

[Tickpaw Tickpaw]

When you're lost in the universe, lost in the universe, don't lose faith
My mother says, "Your whole life's in the paws of the Stars"

.

Tickpaw moved silently through camp, his orange eyes locked onto a flash of white ahead, striking, familiar. Not dark like most of ShadowClan's pelts. It stood out. She stood out. " Stoat. " he called, his voice low but firm as he padded closer. He dropped down beside her with a soft thud, shoulder brushing hers in a quiet greeting. " Hey, Stoat. " he repeated, head tilting slightly, a small frown pulling at his scarred features. He'd seen it, how shaken she looked when the patrol returned. RiverClan. A heist, a clash, whatever it was, it hadn't been clean. Tickpaw didn't know RiverClan well, barely gave them much thought, but whatever happened had clearly left its mark.

His torn ear twitched as he studied her face, gauging the flickers of emotion she didn't try hard to hide. After a pause, he gave her cheek a gentle nudge with his nose, something rare and quiet, just between them. " You okay? " he asked, voice simple and steady, earnest, not demanding. He already knew the answer. But sometimes, asking straight was the only way to offer room for honesty.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

10 MOONS

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SHADOWCLANNER

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SONG

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bio

 

[Stoatpaw Stoatpaw]

——————————————— Together, we'll make our way home ✦

Things had been much the same these last few days. An absence. Like Stoatpaw was barely present in conversations unless it was something quiet, where she could allow herself to spill her mind. Instead, perched in the camp, she steeled herself; too many cats had seen too much of her weakness. Too many cats knew her weaknesses. She had spent so many moons becoming something stronger, something that didn't need to be coddled. And yet it all seemed to fall apart in her paws like leaf litter disintegrating in the rain.

And yet, in a time when everything felt like it was falling apart all around her. Left behind and feeling small. There was some quiet consistency in her life still. The gentle brush of coarse fur at her side, she didn't even have to look to know who it was. The careful nose pressed against her cheek was enough to make her turn to the other, Tickpaw.

She was taken aback by the look in his eyes, where she had gotten mostly pitying looks from her clanmates; there was something instead genuine from the other. Asking if she was okay. Not some prying personal question, nothing that would make her feeler smaller than she had been. But she felt like he actually saw her.

Stoatpaw took a moment, looking away from Tickpaw, thinking. Deciding. He had never looked down on her, treated her weaker nor something delicate. Even now, when she had caused so much grief, he sought to check in on her. She let out a shuddered breath, not letting her shoulders slump quite yet, nor did she look back at Tick as she spoke.

"I... I don't know." She breathed, like some kind of admittance. "I'm not really sure." Stoatpaw shrugged, wrapping her tail around her paws, as if to make herself even smaller. She genuinely wasn't sure, she likely wasn't. She wasn't even sure if she deserved to feel okay for everything she had caused. She alerted Riverclan to the heist, now there was more tension between the clans, and Hollowmist was seriously hurt, and Sablestar was more than upset with her-

"No..." Her voice was nothing but a whisper, like saying it out loud was a crime itself. "No I'm not I-" Sablestar's rage, the fury in his eyes and the scent of blood that clung in the air as she sobbed into Hollowmist's side. The memory alone was enough to make Stoatpaw's throat grow tight. She looked away from Tick, clenching her jaw, refusing to get upset. I-I'm sorry." She shook her head, she didn't get to be upset about her own mess, let alone making her friend bear that weight too.

It felt strange, she wanted to curl up at Tick's side, allow herself some comfort or even vulnerability, but just the idea felt like she was trying to cry her way out of her own mistakes. But it didn't stop the pain that ached in her chest, the one that had kept her awake, which was probably more than evidenced in the exhaustion in her eyes, even steeling herself, it wasn't something she could possibly hide.

——— While you were sleeping,

Everything changed at once. ———

• 
  Stoatpaw
  ✦—Shadowclan apprentice | 9 Moons
  ✦—She/Her
  ✦—"SPEECH", 'THOUGHTS', ATTACK, PAWSPEAK
  ✦—A slender white cat with faint lilac markings and blue eyes.
  #96d5f1/#50BBF0
  
  ⤷ Written by Phoenix ​