Private SLOW RIDING [ starlitpath ]


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swarmswirl

not a plant can grow
24
2
Freshkill
15
This isn't for her.

The thought is instantaneous. The bird that now rests at her paws is pale in color - a dove, with hardly a few drops of blood to discern its cause of death. If it weren't for the oncoming gnawing hunger in her gut, Swarmswirl would've considered the pure white bird beautiful. Maybe she would've parted with some of the feathers secretly before bringing it away. But no. This downy bird has more purpose than to be some pretty thing decorating her nest, or some meal to fill a hollowing belly. It's a barter, a trade - a sense of finality. This dove, in all of its innocence, will be able to wrench that unknown feeling from her and throw it as far as it once flew.

She gathers it daintily still, tucking its wings to its sides and cupping it between sharp teeth but not puncturing it any further. Her conquest shouldn't be far - if she can recall the morning assignments properly, while they've been deigned separate patrols, they should be meandering around the same side of the territory. Swarmswirl begins her trek slowly at first, occasionally pausing to taste the air. Eventually the wind sweeps in her favor and she proceeds. Her steps aren't hurried, her expression isn't anxious. She almost seems at peace.

Yet when she sees Starlitpath, momentarily caught in a stray sunbeam, her paws cease up entirely. Her confidence burls in her gut, driving out any hunger but consuming the discomfort and causing it to double. She's leading her patrol, and thus isn't alone... and Swarmswirl would rather be shredded to ribbons than to be seen by others in this moment.

It takes a long soothing breath to urge herself forward. Her dove is placed by her paws slowly, and she looks to the warriors that accompany the pointed tom. "You each go on ahead," she orders, though something rattles in her voice. "Starlitpath and I have something to... settle," and with it not being uncommon for the duo to make bets or challenges, it seems that the rest of the patrol are at ease with leaving their head behind. Swarmswirl pays no mind to the lingering glances or snickers that trail them... in truth, she has no bandwidth to do so.

She looks back to Starlitpath, and recalls the morsels of time they've spent together since that afternoon. Patrols, mostly - encounters that've been sorted for them, rather than either of them making time for the other. Except for at night, when the chill grows to be too much, and the mollies find themselves in the same nest. Swarmswirl feels her ears warm up and her jaw tense when she remembers just a few nights ago, waking before the point did, and tucking in closer for the remainder of the night.

It's nothing. It will always be nothing.

The other warriors leave, and Swarmswirl picks up the perfect dove, placing it to the moggy's paws. "Will this be enough to get you out of my fur?" She mutters, as if her heart doesn't hammer in her chest. Payment, at best - a still distant thank you for the comfort the warrior afforded her when her sister was so gravely injured. Her lips press to a thin line, ears drawn to her crown, "I've got it in me to catch another. I'm just tired of you holding... that -" she vaguely gestures, "- over my head all the time." Yet Starlitpath has done nothing of the sort. No, the molly's only sin is being on the forefront of the tortoiseshell's mind even when she isn't near. And that's not something that can be paid away.

@starlitpath
 
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(˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗) she can't say she's blameless in their little dance either. since apprenticehood, she's found joy in teasing and playfully tormenting the tortoiseshell, and though she refuses to admit it, swarmswirl's presence in her life has become a comforting constant. so no, she is not innocent in their back and forth, goading the other on, swishing her tail in her face in teasing flirtation. it's always been a game, a laugh... right? sometimes, starlitpath isn't sure. as the chill has sunk into the earth and naked branches scrape a late leaf-fall sky, the dappled feline has taken a bit of solace in her plush-pelted clanmate's warmth.

of course she's woken up due to sleepy movement in her nest, and of course she's pretended to sleep while burrowing deeper into the feathery tail. and, of course, she hasn't said much else about it in daylight. when dawn comes and her nest is cold once more, its occupant hastily removing herself from the den at first light, starlitpath forces away the disappointment. since that day by the river, that day in which emotions had gotten involved, swarmswirl has haunted the feline's mind.

white capped paws tread carefully along frosted ground as the warrior leads his patrol deep into the territory. his sea gaze is foggy, movements languid as he looses himself in thought. the warmth of sleep, the deep pine smell of chocolate and ginger fur, dappled with sharp herb scent from time spent in the medicine den with her sister. starlitpath shakes his head abruptly, blinking and digging his claws into the earth as he tries to come back to himself. stars above, why do i still smell her?

moving through a small clearing, the sun reflects off of crystaline eyes as the warrior locks gaze with just the cat he's been trying to banish from his head. the scent of pine and bark washes over him again. that's why.

her fellow warrior orders the patrol on, and its members cast glances over their shoulders, some nudging him as they pass. he lashes his tail, glaring after them, only looking at his companion when they are out of sight. "came looking for me, aye?" the teasing remark is involuntary, a shield against what might be real emotions. he's damming the flood of questions, concerns, of stupid midnight imaginings. a pure white bird is placed at his paws, feathers shining in the dusty sun. starlitpath peers at it, quirking a brow. presents have never been apart of their deal. swarmswirl sighs sharply, spitting out the reason, and the warrior lowers his tail, ears flicking back. "i'm in your fur..." he hums, but the teasing is halfhearted, almost hopeful. shut up before you say something you'll regret.

the feline lifts her head to find the other's bottleglass gaze, forcing their eyes to meet. "i didn't realize it bothered you so much," she murmurs, placing a paw on the dove, drawing it over the pristine down. "you... you didn't owe me anything for it. any clanmate would've done the same." but she's not any clanmate. she's the rival, skyclan's princess with a blasphemous name. this whole thing isn't how they interact. rules had been broken the very moment she'd led the distraught warrior away.

swallowing, starlitpath nods. "consider us even, though, if it'll help you sleep." even would mean no more solo conversations. possibly no more sharing a nest, even if neither of them have ever acknowledged that. "i... i can leave you alone if you want, swarmswirl, i-if this bothers you." please don't make me.


  • // " #dcccf0"
  • STARLITPATH ★ tags / toyhouse

    genderfluid (he / she / they) / bisexual, mate of none
    29 moons old, ages realistically
    warrior of skyclan
    younger sibling to THREETOE, BADGERTAIL, BEARFACE
    mentoring SPIKEPAW / mentored by DUSKPOOL
    penned by LAVS / message lavendes on discord for plots!

    a shorthaired dilute calico point with low white and aqua eyes. short, thick fur decorates her frame, cream hued, swooping into a cowlick on her head. their face, paws, and tail are dappled with fawn and slate gray, broken through by speckles of white. a star shaped white splotch on their forehead offers them their namesake. eyes like ocean water, a deep aqua blue, pierce out of almond shaped sockets.
 

The dance has worn divots into the ground. Each step in measured eloquence and ease, predicted as the one before - each discerning glare or teasing grin as easy as the last. She doesn't know exactly when it happened, but Starlitpath's paws thread outside of their common sway, and Swarmswirl feels herself entirely out of it, even when she's desperate to find the rhythm once more. Their pattern has broken, not quite shattered but to a degree where "fixing" means replacing what they've lost, and thus putting words to what has happened to them.

Starlitpath starts the dance again, easy, sly even. Swarmswirl is out of step. The prey sits between them like it never has before. The air is too pleasant, the sounds too dainty. The tortoiseshell looks upon her pointed counterpart, not with disgust or frustration, but... confusion. At a loss, at best. She's introduced something new to their pattern and it's faulty. The bird is clean, innocent - dare she say it, perfect - yet it's very existence ruins what normalcy they had left. She introduces the fix and only further shatters their illusion of comfort.

Their dance ends as it had started. Starlitpath does not find the beat again, just as Swarmswirl struggled to find it at all. The other lies defeated to their loss and the tortoiseshell just... stares. Because this is what she wanted, right? For them to get even ( "You didn't owe me anything," ) for them to get back to normal ( "I can leave you alone," ) for them to... to...

( "If it bothers you." )

"You don't bother me!" She barks, suddenly, her voice cracking as she acts quickly to assuage their guilt in the matter. Her jaw tenses with her desperation, her claws flexing with uncertainty into the ground. She almost wishes she could take that back, if only to impart that the worst bits of the other is how much he annoys her... but also how much she misses it when he's absent. He's no flea burrowed in her pelt; at best, in their current state, they're symbiotic, living off of one another in some manner of speaking. Could that mean... that they could be more? Something meaningful? Swarmswirl, for a brief moment, thinks of her sister. Was it as much of a risk for Chrysalisgaze to chase Starlingtrail...? Should she think this a risk at all?

Her mouth is dry and her ears get too warm for her liking. And so, she returns to her comfort zone when speaking to the pine's prince. Thinly veiled annoyances at best, mockery at worst.

"You're not any Clanmate," she unknowingly repeats what echoes in his mind. The tortoiseshell can't hold his blue gaze, knowing that if she looks into their eyes, she may lose all sense again. Even being this close proves difficult, as in the very least, they provide a comfort she sorely needed in the last moon. Being near them makes her feel... at peace. Calm. Even if she pushes herself to metaphorically sharpen her claws against his pelt. "You're... Starlitpath. You've won every gorge-run we had, and when we came here, you've been one of the best pine climbers yet. You're clever, and thoughtful, and reasonable - if not a quill in my back most days...!" She harps on, eyebrows furrowing - but she neglects to add his princely titles and domain. As much as she is her mother's child, Starlitpath is so much more than that. And strangely enough, Swarmswirl wants to make that clear. Just as much as she wants to make clear that, "You're not my shoulder to cry on, or nestmate, or..." ... friend? More than?

"... I miss our normal, Star," she says, a bit quieter. "I don't like it when we're tiptoeing around our thoughts. I've never held my tongue around you and now - now I feel like I have to, for some StarClan-forsaken reason." A paw tugs at her features, drawing them down dramatically. She isn't sure she's making sense, so just in case, she adds, "I don't want you to leave. I just want to fix this."
 
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