{$title} this is a oneshot!! tw for talk of child abandonment + abuse
POPPYKIT | WINDCLAN
"TELL ME I'M AN ANGEL, TAKE THIS TO MY GRAVE"
"TELL ME I'M AN ANGEL, TAKE THIS TO MY GRAVE"
.
Now, their sparkle has dimmed.
He likes it here - he does, really! - but it seems as though every time he brings up Momma, the other cats all give him this pitiful look, one that makes his heart sink way, way down as if deep into the earth itself. He's not sure he's ever hated a feeling so much in all his life. There's a war inside of him - he wants desperately to prove WindClan wrong, that Momma is coming back - she always comes back. So what if it's taking a long time? She has always come back to find him in the past when he got lost!! This time will be no different!! Any day now she will arrive in camp and Poppykit will say, "I told you so!!"
But he has other thoughts too, ones that are deeper. Darker.
She's not coming back, is she? Would Momma really⦠do that? Did I do somethin' wrong? Does she hate me?
It makes him sick to his stomach when he thinks this way, but he can't stop it at all. He trembles, and cries, and rips at his corner of his nest in the nursery with tiny, jabbing claws. He doesn't even see her in his dreams anymore - hasn't, ever since they were separated. It's not fair. He just wants to see her. He'll do anything, he'll apologize for being such an awful and troublesome child, he'll follow every single rule that she gives him, he'll stop complaining about mealtimes and walking for too long and wanting to play. Anything. Anythin' for Momma. I miss you. I love you. Please come back for me.
But days pass, turning into weeks. No one who promised they'd look for his Momma has found a single hair on her pelt, not a whisper of her voice in the wind. She's gone. Hiding⦠or perhaps, running. Running away from her only responsibility. From her son.
Poppykit has been given his new name, but deep down, he still feels like Child - the careless, whimsical bundle of fur that didn't understand what it meant when Momma would scream at him, or leave him alone for hours, or roll her eyes when he asked her to play. He's been told that's not normal. He's been shown, by these WindClan cats, that there are ways to show love that don't hurt. Told that it shouldn't hurt, to love. But somehow that doesn't make his love for Momma hurt any less. Had it been just as painful for Momma as it had been for him? Is that why she left, to seek a love without pain?
And then, another thought - the scariest one of all.
Did she ever even love me from the start�
And that thought, finally, is the final crack that makes his glass heart shatter.
-
"TELL ME I'M A BAD MAN, KICK ME LIKE A STRAY"
