Private The one who's left behind ✴︎ Juniperstar

[Faithkit]

FAITHKIT

A BOUQUET OF BRAMBLES

SHE/HERx THUNDERCLAN KITx 02 MOONS​

☆ A sickly fawn cream tortoiseshell with low white
☆ Adopted child of Serpentberry, littermates with Falsekit and Thornkit
☆ penned by Juice↛ Ouijeejuice on discord, feel free to dm for plots.​

​

Once again you are left alone. First it's the cooling body of your mother in the forest. Now it's the news of Serpentberry, her death details kept from your young ears for the most part. You wish you had been there, to be part of the dying much like you were the first time. It had felt right in some way, now you can't be afforded that closure either. Instead you are left a wraith, Serpentberry's youngest child by technicality of a birth order you're not even sure she was aware of. The two of you weren't close, not like how the others in her life seemed to have been yet it has carved out it's own piece within you. She had named you, given you a new life and it seemed to carry a real chance as your health has been crawling back to you piece by fractured piece.

Would that stagnate now with her death? Would you revert back to being the sickly kitten you had been before she saved you? Left without a saviour, with nothing to really turn your faith towards. You find yourself untethered once more, left a spirit in purpose. With her gone what was left for yourself and your brothers? Surely you would need to find a new home, who else could be so kind as to take you in? You aren't convinced you even wanted anyone else, it was easy enough to make yourself anew for the medicine cat but could you really offer your soul up once more to some other warm paws and kind words?

You refuse to speak to your brothers about it, not about how you truly feel. They have always been protecting you, even now they do so. As you throw yourself into the path of the ThunderClan leader you figured that for once you could be a protector. Stumbling your way purposefully into Juniperstar's path you crane your neck up to look at her. A rattle sets in your throat as your lungs squeeze tighter than usual, left sniffling you wipe your paw across your nose. "I want to say goodbye... Before we have to find a new home." She has always been nice to you, if not a little strange. It was natural to assume they would be asked to leave, you merely want to get on top of it. Though as your left staring up at her you can see the glassy texture of her eyes. She's hurting too though, right? One of those other cats who must be hurting more than you. "So... goodbye." There isn't really much to say, not understanding how to give condolences and solely trying to look out for yourself as you've been left displaced once more.

@juniperstar

 

[loonstar loonstar]

juniper

"and this time, she won't be forgiving"​​

what fragments of her exist are in the beating hearts of others. there are no tufts of carelessly laid fur to cling to, no token of affection exchanged when the beating vessel in your chest was what was promised. it surely cannot be held within hers anymore, poorly welded back together by untrained, star-dusted paws. and despite herself, she cannot will herself to look for Serpentberry in reflection of Rowanpaw's eyes either, not when it's so easy to blame her instead. the one who stole that last moment, the last breath, and could never relinquish it.

there are other little dolls of hers... that wander around wearing her face, her fur, her stare. the ease in which she leaves. "And where... exactly... is this new home you're going to?" she is but a tiny weed standing before her feet, waving with every stiff breeze like it is ready to collapse into the grass beside it. much too small to make such big decisions... much too young to decide herself unwelcome here.

(you can't leave).

she speaks with such monotone finality... like a final gong of a bell sounding the last hour. the space between her brows furrows, chest grown tight with discomfort at the little she-kit's dutiful tilt towards vacating- "Goodbye won't be necessary. . . Faithkit." the spotted molly glances towards the sloping exit that would draw them out of camp into a chilling wilderness, one that would only grow more unforgiving. "You'll need to be move to the nursery at some point but.. . . you don't need to leave." (can't).

"If you are... lonely," she ventures to summarize what might be felt by ones who'd known Serpentberry for so little but had nestled close enough to memorize her scent... it aches. the memory. "My den is always welcome to you."

──✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮

•  
• juniperstar
  leader of thunderclan
  six lives remain
  

 

[Faithkit]

FAITHKIT

A BOUQUET OF BRAMBLES

SHE/HERx THUNDERCLAN KITx 02 MOONS​

☆ A sickly fawn cream tortoiseshell with low white
☆ Adopted child of Serpentberry, littermates with Falsekit and Thornkit
☆ penned by Juice↛ Ouijeejuice on discord, feel free to dm for plots.​

​

You're not born a strategist, in fact you're pretty lousy at it. In time this could change but for now a simple question like what this new home would be has thrown you. You don't gawk at the leader, in fact you are holding onto a primness that you think your medicine cat caretaker might have liked should she be with you now. At least you think so, you just try to think about what Thornkit would do and try to do the opposite though you would never tell him as such. "I haven't.... thought that far ahead..." you trail off, ears falling flat with a particularly sharp wheeze as you huff in petulance. "A tree" you decide rather quickly, what kind of tree didn't matter but you figured if the three of you could learn how to scale up a tree then nothing could eat you. It wasn't like you'd be able to out run anything so this was the best idea, maybe you could even earn praise for how smart you just were though she doesn't look fit to be handing those out.

"Really?" You are careful to not put hope in your voice though there's a glint in your eyes unbeknownst to you that gives it away. Staying was never an option, mainly since you assumed it wasn't welcomed. Your life here is attached solely to Serpentberry so who is Faithkit without her creator? You try to not think about it, in a way Juniperstar doesn't let you think about it. You don't think to ask who will look after you when you go to the nursery, you never imagined a life where you could be well as dramatic as that is. It's scary you think but you are comforted in the thunderclanners presence, her being is miserable but it seems to understand your own misery in kind. "It seems loud... busy" you aren't sure if you will like the nursery that much, you find that you can't stand still as you think about it. You don't want to leave though even if you don't think you'll like the nursery, not when you were told you don't have to say goodbye. It just seemed rude to do so now. "I.. We will stay then" you're not sure if your littermates had the same expectations of leaving but now you felt like you didn't have to protect them at least.

Unsure of really what to say at the offer you just stare. That trembling maw of a child burdened with emotions far too big for your mind to comprehend. "Could I visit it tonight?" You aren't really sure what to say, the medicine den feels too big right now. "I don't... like being there all the time now" you hope she understands what you mean. Surely you're not the only cat looking for escapism, feeling your tail flicker in the wind you find yourself making a request you aren't sure you're fit to ask. "I want to know more about her" reverence you suppose, a sense of duty for your saviour to truly understand her.

 

[loonstar loonstar]

juniper

"and this time, she won't be forgiving"​​

it is evident enough to the spotted tabby that is a shot in the dark, a deemed necessary sacrifice that demands immediate response. the sense of danger that must linger behind their ears, to be ready to leave, to anticipate being chased away like a pest. her ear flicks, trying not to sink too much further into the muck of the stoic kit's feelings for fear of it becoming like tar when mixed with the greedy ocean-like pull of grief. "A tree," she repeats, letting out a small sigh. that is... not a satisfactory answer.

at least she seems to appreciate the dismissal of farewell- that there is a promise of safety here. a constancy, even if Serpentberry could not be amongst those constants. "Yes, really," it an assurance that doesn't sound as warm as she wills it to be, drained of what love once roosted like a flame under the surface. her eyes drift towards the nursery, lovingly carved and carefully insulated from the sun's harsh rays. it would need more than just that to weather the winter... a note tucked aside to delegate to Owlbark and his patrols. "Mmm... I imagine that could be overwhelming but... a loud nursery is a happy one. I'd hope it never grows too quiet in there," she admits with a solemn undertone. Littlekit had been quiet- it is best not to think about it.

Faithkit decides for herself (and her siblings, it seems) that they will remain and that is already a great relief impressed upon the tenseness of her shoulders. she takes even greater solace in being so openly sought out so quickly... to know the shadowy space underneath a half-fallen tree feels inviting enough to invade as quickly as possible. "You may," her lips pull into a small smile, praying it looks more sincere than it feels. her heart still sinks at the vague spurning of the medicine cat's den... knowing that it is only Rowanpaw that now resides there. would it be cruel to say she doesn't want to walk in there ever again either? would it only make more problems later to tell Faithkit she understands?

her lips do not part to articulate her agreement, deciding it a recipe for further complication when it might really matter-- but they do when she asks for knowledge. for memory. "I will answer... any questions you have about her," she promises on a shaky breath. "She wanted you safe... and happy..." and that was the most important part... even if the methods to her madness didn't always present themselves clearly from the outside. Juniperstar knew that better than anyone surely...? that her barbs were only as sharp as they were out of necessity.

──✩°｡⋆⸜ ✮

•  
• juniperstar
  leader of thunderclan
  seven lives remain