Private Backwritten Leader's Den When the waters run heavy // Pike

[Wavesong]

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

.

There was a certain beauty in the sight of the light filtering into the den, soft and gentle... A welcome change from the heaviness that seemed to burden some of RiverClan lately. Wavesong's pawsteps were light, though her belly, rounded with the weight of coming life, made her slower than usual. Still, she moved with purpose. She had waited, given space after the council meeting had unraveled so disastrously, giving Pikestar time to breathe, to think… to feel the weight that had no doubt only grown heavier since. It was a heavy burden to carry, the crown of RiverClan... To be the leader of so many, and to be so young still. Wavesong understood Pikestar had nothing but the best at heart for the clan, but sometimes that just didn't pack out as well as one would want it to...

With a soft puff of a breath, she stepped into the den with that same warmth she always carried. The kind of warmth that belonged to someone who had known pain, and still chose kindness. A mother'' warmth. Her gaze found him, RiverClan's young leader. And even though her eyes were gentle, they held no illusions. She knew the toll this was taking on him. " Ah, … " she murmured, her voice a soothing breeze in the silence. " Ye look like ye've been wrestlin' with th' stars themselves. " she chuckled softly, mirth in her voice though a deeper meaning was spread across the sentence too. Then, she came closer, settling down carefully at his side, her swollen belly making it a bit of a task, but she didn't complain. She simply reached out, placing a paw gently to his cheek. Not forceful. Not patronizing. Just there, grounding.

" Ye've got a weight on those shoulders most cats'll never understand. " she said softly, a knowing look onto her face. She knew that kind of weight, it would either break you or make you... And she prayed to all the seas and stars above that it would be the latter.. " An' I know… I know yer doin' what ye believe is right. Ye care. That much is plain as day. But sometimes... when tempers rise and words bite, we all get caught in currents stronger than ourselves. " she meowed wisely, a frown to her face. There was no scorn in her voice, only understanding. " I know how th' council ended… and I'm sorry, for th' things Adderfang said. He's got fire in his blood, always has. But fire don't always know when t'burn and when t'warm. His anger was.... Just. But it weren't fair t'ye. "

She let the silence settle for a beat, then looked at him fully, a smile tugging faintly at her lips. " But listen here, Pikestar, ye've got somethin' more precious than strength or fury. Ye've got heart. And the wisdom t'listen. That's rare in any cat, let alone one as young as ye. Ye've got th' makin's of a fine leader. But even th' finest need a paw t'hold them steady sometimes. " she chuckled softly before peering over at him. " Yer council, they mean well. I implore ye t'lissen t'them... But they also need ta lissen without explodin' on ye. That's no way t'talk t'one another, aye? It'll just leave everyone balkin' at one another. " she gently joked before her eyes softened even more, becoming a touch misty.

" If ye want advice, I'll give it. If ye want a cat to speak plainly, I can be that. If all ye want is someone to sit and say nothin', I'll do that too. Ye don't have to carry this alone, love. We're RiverClan. That means we carry each other. " She chuckled, gently as she gave a small pat on her belly. " Besides, if I can carry a belly full o' kits in this chaos, ye can manage a clan, aye? " she commented with a wink before her expression softened once more.

" ... I'm here for ye, like I am fer any lost soul. "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

37 MOONS

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RIVERCLANNER

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SONG

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bio

 

[PIKESTAR PIKESTAR]

Perhaps the den seemed more welcoming than usual because he'd been cleaning up the mess he made. The day they returned to a ransacked camp, he'd destroyed his nest and the treasures he collected throughout the moons. If Wavesong decided to see him then... It would have been far from a pleasant sight. She may have left from how oppressive the atmosphere was. Although, he would have been glad she left back then. He was in no mood to be entertaining visitors or answering questions. The only cat he allowed to speak with him that day was Russetfall because he had promised her. After their conversation he promptly went to bed after an exhausting day.

He'd been in the middle of fixing his nest when Wavesong addressed him. His reaction was sluggish, turning to her chuckling. What kind of expression was he wearing? The silver tom shakes his head, focusing his efforts in being more present. Eventually he does manage a weak chuff,

"It's not like I'm hiding it."

Guilt momentarily seeps through his bones watching her struggle to get in a comfortable sitting position. He understands there is nothing he can do about it. This is only natural, yet he feels like a terrible host for not tidying up the place better. While it was definitely an improvement from a couple of sunrises, you could still see some broken bones and shells in a random corner of his den. All he can do is swallow the guilt and take a seat next to her.

I expected this. Ugh, I'm too exhausted. While he knows that its to be expected for cats to come to him either to try figure out what happened during the council due to the tense air between all members, or for cats to give their own opinions on the matter... It got tiring speaking about it while he was trying to figure what to do from here. Of course he would follow what the council had planned as well as whatever patrols Frostmoth would assign him with, but there was something bigger at stake. His job was to try and prevent it from happening, and if he couldn't... He would need to formulate a plan to control the damage. Still... He did have a duty to listen to cats who sought him out. As much as he needed to ponder about his next moves in a most troubling time, he couldn't neglect his other duties. If he shoved him off to any other member that would only wedge them further apart.

And so, he listens. He listens and is not relieved. She made the mistake of talking about weight. He can only be reminded of Russetfall's warning. Discomfort settles in his stomach as she reveals her knowledge of what transpired. What happened in that meeting was only supposed to stay between council members, yet it didn't surprise him that Adderfang would share information with his mate. Like clockwork, she apologizes for him. This happened last time too. When Adder was cruel to me. You told me he didn't mean it. You told me that he would apologize, but now you're saying he's just. She's looking at him, he can feel her stare. However, he can't trust himself in this moment to return her gaze. Maybe she assumes he is reconsidering Adderfang's actions, just as he did last time. She is right about his fire. How he's always had it, but she is wrong about no knowing when to warm. Adderfang chose to burn that meeting and he is going to keep burning. Would you still think he's just if you heard what he said to Jinglemoon? Or will you keep making excuses for him?

He makes the mistake of his turning his head to face her to be met with a smile. She tells him he has heart. A thing more precious than strength or fury. A bitter laugh wants to escape his lips. The precious thing she was talking about was why he was in this mess in the first place. It was because of his heart he let Shadowclan go off with herbs. All because of some children Shadowclan brought to commit their crimes. To make matters worse he sent back Jinglemoon and Rainpaw with Frostmoth back to camp due to his heart, which the council reminded him of numerous times as a horrid decision. The council made it clear that they didn't want heart from him. They wanted strength and fury. Her very definition of what made a fine leader contradicted what the council had said. What her mate, Adderfang desired.

MEAN WELL?! YOU WEREN'T EVEN THERE! It almost comes tumbling out of his mouth. He takes in a deep breathe to steady himself. How she took it? He hadn't planned for it and frankly he didn't care at the moment. He just needed to steady himself, before he made a costly mistake. Listen she says. He has listened to them. Is listening to them by doing the patrols and those who are still loyal to him in the council are met with questions from him. Questions on how he should improve. On what should be tackled first.

To be frank, he's not in a joking mood right now however he's been silent for too long. Wavesong needs some reassurance. It is for that reason alone he cracks a smile and chuckles,

"Hmm I dunno, maybe instead of balkin', we'd end up squawking. That would be quite the meeting."

Pikestar can only hope she is satisfied with his joke and that she feels at ease. As if everything she had told him earlier hadn't made him furious nor realize some things he refused to see before.

"We're RiverClan. That means we carry each other."

Did she even know? Know that Russetfall had already spoken to him and warned him that he'd wind up dead if something wasn't done? How despite the fact that she'd been frequenting his den often, making herself an enemy of the other council members, they were in fact not friends. She was only carrying him to ensure the survival and stability of Riverclan. The thread of loyalty would snap easily if he were to talk about a certain secret. Outside of said secret, while Russetfall had not made the terms of her loyalty clear... He knew she would only endure so much before deciding to sever her loyalty before placing it in his replacement. Though she would be in for a surprise along with the others when he would not die as predicted.

Jarring the transition is when she brings up her kits, following it up with a wink. Maybe his stunned face is what makes her own soften. As if finally realizing a joke, he lets out a chuff,

"Only if its not a clan full of kts I'll manage."

Unlike his previous jest, this one is genuine. However, faint joy turns rotten when he recalls what is offered him. Advice? It would be nice, but he fears that he will be unable to carefully select his words without some important information. I'll start with that.

"Wavesong... What did you hear about the council meeting?"

What did Adderfang tell you? While he trusts Wavesong for now, the same can't be said for her mate. It wouldn't surprise him if the tom omitted some details about what was said. As much as Wavesong understood how Adderfang worked more than anyone, at the end of the day this was her mate. I have to be careful. I can't expect her to turn against her mate. They have kits on the way too. With the way things are going she might become an enemy too. I have to play it safe, just like Russetfall suggested.

𝐨𝐨𝐜 𓆩♱𓆪 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭

• WAVE IM SO SORRY HE'S A LITTLE APPREHENSIVE
• PIKESTAR

  — leader of riverclan, former shipyard cat
  ♱ 38 moons — he/him — ages realistically on the 1st
  ♱ speech is

  "#00caa2"

  — thoughts are italics — attacks are underlined
  ♱ short haired silver mackerel tabby with green eyes
  ♱ peaceful & healing powerplay permitted — underline & tag when attacking
  ♱ penned by velou — kasaven on discord — open to plots & dms
  

 

[Wavesong]

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

.

Wavesong didn't press him when the silence stretched between them. She let it be, let it settle between them like mist over water. The den still smelled faintly of moss and shell-dust, of something broken being carefully put back together. She glanced to where the treasures had once sat in their neat pile and didn't ask. Some things didn't need to be voiced to be understood. Her body ached slightly where she sat, but she bore it as she always did, with quiet grace. When Pikestar finally spoke, that soft, self-deprecating joke tumbling from his mouth, she gave him a small, fond huff in return.

" Squawkin' sounds 'bout right. " she murmured, her tone light despite the shadows hanging between them. " Though I reckon most of us were already doin' plenty o' that. " she spoke with a small smile before glancing over at him. The tension still coiled around his shoulders, but at least he smiled.

She listened again when he asked, when the quiet turned serious once more. It was not suspicion that made her ears twitch, but interest. She tilted her head slightly, watching him. Pikestar's voice wasn't sharp, it was careful. Wary. That was what gave her pause. " What did I hear? " she repeated softly, looking down at her paws before lifting her gaze again. " Only th' end o' it, truth be told. I wasn't in th' meetin'... just caught th' tail of it as cats spilled out. Heard a bit here and there in camp later. " Her gaze softened, voice steady, gentle. " I didn't go 'round askin'. Didn't see th' point in stirrin' up gossip when things already felt ready t'burst. "

Her tail wrapped lightly over her paws as she gave him a quiet moment of consideration. " Adderfang told me some things. Not everything. He was angry, but he always is when he's scared. " Her voice dropped slightly, touched with something tender. "... He... I like t'believe cares for this Clan, an' he don't always know how t'carry that love gently. " A pause, then her eyes met his. " I know what he's like. An' I know yer carryin' more than any cat yer age should have to. That don't make either of ye right or wrong. Jus' means we've got hearts that are loud in different ways. "

She didn't press him for more, not yet. She could sense it, how close to the edge he still sat. He wasn't ready to pour it all out. So instead, she steadied her own breathing, and let the stillness return. " If ye want me t'know what really happened... I'll listen. I won't run an' tell Adderfang. I'm not here t'take sides, Pike. I'm here t'hold th' space between 'em steady so RiverClan don't split right down the middle. " Her voice, as always, was calm, level. The tone of water moving over stone, slow and certain.

" We can't keep lettin' fear speak louder than reason. Not if we want our kits t'grow up in a Clan that still stands. " She gave him a moment, then added with the faintest smile, a glimmer of warmth reaching her eyes again. " And just so ye know... a Clan full o' kits'd be louder than a council meetin', but far sweeter. "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

37 MOONS

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RIVERCLANNER

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SONG

𖧧

bio