TW WARNING: there will be descriptions (vague not too descriptive) of violence. There will also be dying
Why did he bother? Adderfang was not listening to him whatsoever. It was becoming much more difficult not to give in and start hissing back at the brown warrior. Especially with Adderfang going off on Coyoteclaw, although he would argue some of it was deserved.
You really shouldn't have brought his kits into this. Argh, its hopeless with you two acting like kits. And Coyoteclaw is making my life harder thank you very much. If you actually bothered to get to know someone other than your family, you'd know this is just how Coyote is. All he can do is wait for the pair to settle whatever mess they had. He was not getting involved in their spat thank you very much.
To his fortune or perhaps misfortune, he is addressed again. This time Adderfang brings up Starclan. He genuinely wants to burst into laughter, because his experiences were living proof that Starclan existed. Not to mention Smokewreath had an encounter with Starclan, so it wasn't like it didn't exist.
Your mate has talked about them too, so I'm not sure how you can keep denying it. I know better to bring her into this though. Once again, Adderfang is showing how much he refuses to listen.
"As I said. I was chosen by Starclan. I personally don't know why they picked me, but they did. I agree with you that there were better picks though. We can go back and forth about, but the fact remains that I was chosen by Starclan."
Whatever answer he gave, he knew Adderfang wouldn't listen. He didn't believe in Starclan and that was fine. Pikestar never forced anyone to believe in them. However, all of Riverclan should be aware of the very fact that it is due to Starclan that they even have a new home. A new life. As for letting the others decide who should lead them?
"I care about you all deeply, but I wasn't allowed to give you all the choice to decide. Knowing that, I tried not to be forceful. The changes made were slow for a reason."
Did you forget all that?
Of course, Adderfang is still not thrilled with the answer. The scrunch of their nose an indicator enough.
You don't understand. You won't ever understand. Once again the warrior brings up the other clans. Quite frankly, Pikestar is tired of it. They're running in circles in this point. Only because Adderfang refuses to see things another way.
I've heard I've got to grow up so many times before, this isn't even an insult at this point. Please come up with something better.
He sighs,
"It's not enough Adderfang. Am I supposed believe everyone who is associated with Shadowclan is evil?"
Make no mistake he didn't believe that Shadowclan was all good. He would be a fool to say there wasn't some bad in Shadowclan due to what happened to their clan, but everyone else?
How can I make him see? "For a moment lets forget all the clans. Tell me if there were two cats in the entire forest, one a rogue and the other a loner who have been traveling together all this time... Should I automatically consider the loner just as evil? Just because one cat or group of cats is bad, doesn't mean everyone who associates with them or knows them is just as bad. What of the children who are judged for the actions of the adults? They did not ask to be born to what is considered evil. I am not saying your views are entirely wrong. There are definitely some bad cats out there, but there is also good. You are forgetting that."
Life was not as simple as good and evil. Categorizing everything in such a manner was simple, but much was lost in the process.
"That is why its not enough. Why I choose to believe that there is good within Thunderclan and Windclan, even if they have Shadowclan kin within their ranks. Juniperstar and Dustystar are more than capable leaders. They are not Sablestar himself. Remember Juniperstar had the chance to attack us when we trespassed into our territory, but she chose not to. Do you think Sablestar would have done the same? Dustystar also had the chance to strike me down as soon as I warned her of Shadowclan's crimes. It would have benefitted her and Windclan greatly to do so, and yet she didn't. I know I can't trust them fully, but their actions have shown me the good in their hearts despite their association with Shadowclan."
He doesn't bring up his conversation with Dustystar, knowing it would greatly upset Adderfang more. Hearing that he and Dustystar agreed to know each other better despite clan alliances would go poorly.
"All I'm hearing out of this is that you are condemning my son and daughter to die!"
"I am not."
He could never condemn Adderfang's family. Wavesong has only ever been kind. Everyone within the clan loved her and such love was returned. All of them wanted to be their for her when kitting, yet they were turned away by her mate. As for the kits? It pained him each time he visited seeing how sickly they were, but he still visited along with Peachtrot and others. The children did not deserve to be condemned because of his failings or for how their father treated everyone. The truth of the matter is what he has said over and over again. Riverclan needed more time to find the herbs or to gain assistance from another clan. Adderfang could keep barking all he wanted, but this fact would not change. Unless the brown tom had the power to manifest herbs, then he would have to wait.
The admission that he did not care for the council whatsoever did not hurt. He had expected as such. Adderfang may have had some good ideas here and there, but if one looked closely the decisions were made with only his families needs in mind. At the time, the needs of Adderfang's family were what the clan also needed so the suggestions were followed. However, they couldn't keep making decisions based on one family. The clan had different needs from Adderfang's family. There were the apprentices who needed to keep up with their training, mentors who needed to find time to train said apprentices, upkeeping the camp, and sending out patrols to the borders or to gather resources. Riverclan couldn't be afforded to pour all their energy into finding herbs for the sake of Adderfang's family. If they did, all they would be doing is appeasing Adderfang. He would be content in knowing the fate of his family was secure at the expense of the others, guiltless. After all, his heart held no room for them.
I refused to look at the truth. While Adderfang continues to hiss at him, he can only think of Wavesong in this moment. Of how she approached him the first time he and Adderfang had conflict.
You told me he would apologize. That I should look past his anger. Then, he thinks back to the time she approached him after the council meeting. How she didn't believe he was in the wrong. How Pikestar was to be more understanding.
Was I not understanding enough? All this time, I looked away from the truth for you Wavesong. Its pitiful really... How he can't bring himself to feel enraged by Adderfang. He should be. The tom has insulted him, hissed at Coyoteclaw, and made Riverclan look like fools for everyone to see.
I don't blame you for it, Wavesong. Because... Because I wanted to believe in him too. The good in him. That's why I refused to look for so long.
Pikestar watches in horror as Adderfang quickly vaults over Coyotefang, but before he can react a flash of white fur darts out in front of him.
"Iciclepaw?"
His apprentice is sent sprawling. A pained yowl leaves his throat as he's sent to the ground by Adderfang. Green eyes meet wild amber. He doesn't need to hear another insult to know this is not going to end well. Jarring it is to be pulled into a tight embrace. Instinctively, the silver leader begins to squirm, trying to break free from a crushing embrace. Unfortunately to no avail as another pained yowl leaves his throat and his body jerks at Adderfang's claws sinking into his flesh as they fall.
"ADDERFANG!"
No matter how much Pikestar flails his limbs or tries to block Adderfang's attacks, he is helpless to the assault. His throat hoarse from countless yowls. He's lost count how much he's cried out.
"Pl-please. Stop."
Fire burns everywhere, its difficult to pinpoint where Adderfang hasn't decorated his claws with. Either Adderfang hasn't heard him in his rage or has refused to give any mercy. One thing Pikestar is painfully aware of is the blood. The metallic scent without a doubt far more pungent due to how fresh it is compared to Hawkstar's blood soaked pelt, the awful tearing and squelching sounds, and the warmth leaving his body.
Eventually, he runs out of the strength to defend himself. Green eyes are forced to watch as Adderfang lifts a paw with blood stained claws. He is not afraid. No, if he was afraid it would've been from the start when his apprentice was sent sprawling. When he was pulled down and claws raked down his face. Now, he was exhausted. Resigned. He could only take in a wavering breath as claws sunk into him once more.
Mercy comes in the form of Pineheart who manages after some effort to pull Adderfang off of him. Not without claws tearing his throat.
They're so loud. Whatever it is Pineheart is yelling about is falling on deaf ears, as his body begins to tremble with every wheeze.
Not yet. Please. Not yet. The sensation is akin to the very first time he received his nine lives. The abyss is calling for him. Ready to drag him into its depths once more. To cradle him as he panicked. Never cruel, only patient. It had waited then, for him to stop struggling. When he did, he felt an otherworldly peace. They were ready for him, but he couldn't go to them just yet. He needed to see his son was alright, and... Russetfall was calling for him.
Unfortunately, he doesn't have enough strength to rise to his paws. All he can do is roll to his side, heaving. Relief washes through him when he sees Iciclepaw being tended to by Coyoteclaw and Russetfall, even if his son's pelt was now stained in red. It is a small comfort. His gaze flicks from Iciclepaw to Coyoteclaw. Then to Pineheart, Smokewreath, and finally, Russetfall. No words needed to pass between them for him to understand what was going on through her mind. However, he felt responsible. For the four of them here. All of them had tried their best, yet it wasn't enough. Time was running out. Their blurry figures were fading slowly to black. He smiled at them.
"... It's not your fault."
With a final wheeze, Pikestar stills.
