Territory RC your heart on the line // rushingtide

[Wavesong]

The ocean is in my soul,
And it's pulling me back to shore.
I'm letting go of the weight that's dragging me down.

.

There was a moment to breathe. A thin moment where Bloompaw did not follow after her, instead being guided away with Littlebrook. A moment to think, to breathe, to simply exist without being brave for anyone. The quiet pressed in around her like cold water. For a heartbeat she felt as if she might crumble completely, fall apart and scatter into a thousand little shells, each one wanting only to curl into the side of her mate who was no longer there. Did that make her a bad cat? A bad friend? The questions bit at her like minnows, quick and relentless. Her brows furrowed as she stared down at the icy edge of the river, her paw patting lightly at the surface, feeling the sharp chill cling to her pads. Her thoughts were everywhere at once, tangled and snarled. She had already come undone once, she could not do it again. She was a mother. She had to be the one who held steady so they didn't have to.

But stars, he was her son, and he had been slighted. Looked at as if he were Adder and nothing more. Not Rushingtide. Not himself. The hurt of it knifed through her again, familiar and unwelcome. She did not understand how easily a shadow could swallow a cat people claimed to care for. She drew in a long breath, then pushed herself to her paws, smoothing her fur with effort alone. Her ears pricked when she caught sight of the familiar shape of him. Her oldest. Her first little guppy, now so tall.

" Rushingtide! " she called, her steps quickening as she moved toward him. " Rush! " she breathed when she reached him, pressing her forehead gently to his, a purr rumbling despite the tremor beneath it. " I'm proud o'ye... Yer own lil' brother as yer apprentice. " The smile that touched her face was real, if aching at the edges. She didn't see punishment in it. She saw trust. She saw family. She saw Piranhapaw being guided by paws she knew would never turn sharp against him.

Her gaze softened, worry drifting through blue eyes. " Are ye... Are ye okay, son...? "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

44 MOONS

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RIVERCLANNER

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SONG

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bio

 

[RUSHINGTIDE RUSHINGTIDE]

x

The spar. . . scuffle. . . whatever they want to call it has been weighting on his mind. He could care less about what the Clan thinks of him after that day - he doubts their opinions of him were high before. But the mere thought of them looking at his family differently. . . of treating his younger siblings like they would him or their father. . . he think's it will only be a matter of time before Pikestar is calling Troutpaw by that name, too. Because they will never be an individual; only a shadow of Adder. And he may have worsened that by acting out as he did.

He does not take Piranhapaw out today. His younger brother is back at camp with his littermates, while he guiltily strides towards the river. His once blazen gaze has had its flames subdued as he stares down at his paws, tail dragging behind him; so different from how he usually holds himself. But here, with no one looking, he allows himself to look vulnerable ( pathetic ). Until the all-familiar voice of his mother causes him to halt like a deer caught in headlights. Some part of him tells him to run, but he remains rooted to the ground. Legs shaky, chest heaving - like he's a kit learning to walk.

"Wavesong," His voice comes out weird, like he's holding something inside. The tom blinks, startled. It didn't sound right. "Ma." He tries again, feeling like her little boy from so many moons ago. . . when it was just the four of them. The black-and-white molly tells him she's proud, but it feels so empty, even if the words are true. He knows they are true, and yet he can't share the sentiment. Because everyone would be looking at Piranhapaw, expecting him to turn into another mirror of their father. "Are ye... Are ye okay, son...?"

Something in him crumbles.

"I. . . I know I messed up, ma." Rushingtide croaks, not meeting her eyes. He doesn't regret beating Pikestar up, but the consequences will impact his entire family, or so he thinks. "But I can't pretend I feel bad for what I did. . . he needed to understand what he did hurt me, hurt us. Felt like everyone just. . . looked at me like I'm someone else. And when Pikestar called me by his name. . . I couldn't hold myself back." Do you hate me for it? Do you want me to leave?

OOC //

RUSHINGTIDE

WARRIOR OF RIVERCLAN
he / him, cismale
17 moons old, ages on the 14th.
adder x wavesong, littermate to crescentmoon
older brother of salmonpaw, otterpaw, foampaw, piranhapaw, troutpaw and shellkit
mentoring piranhapaw
"SPEECH" // THOUGHTS // INTERACTION

penned by nocthymia