Backwritten Camp a watchful eye, a quiet comfort ~ Hollowmumble

[Hollowmumble]

{$title} Hollowmumble and Meadowpaw in the medicine cat den. Takes place the day after the gathering.

Hollowmumble, -- 39 Moons / 'Windclan' Cat -- Ages on the 14th
Black spotted ghost tabby with bright amber eyes.
She is friendly, yet quiet, and always willing to help.

Tagging @Meadowpaw

---

The day after the attempt of a peaceful gathering was bleak. Bloodstained lies sunk into the dirt and rocks of the fourtrees, slowly being washed away by the quiet pitter patter of rain. It was cloudy, overcast and suprisingly cold considering the recent weather. It was fitting. Like the sky itself was mourning the loss of lives. Hollowmumble still hadn't fully processed yesterday- what she had seen, what everybody had seen... It was... it was impossible...

Yet she saw it. Otherworldly in a way that make the hair on the back of her neck stand up. In a way that made her shiver and freeze, stunned as she stared and stared.

Starclan was real.

She- she wanted to reject it. She did reject it, with her entire soul, spit it out and shook her head of any thought that it could be real but... it was. It was real. She had seen it. Everyone had seen it. All that they had been talking about... Starclan, Windclan, the other clans, the... code, whatever that was. Dustystar being chosen to rule. She hated it. It made her head spin. None of it made sense, yet all of it made sense, because she had seen that... ghost. That cat, in the physical world ghostly and see through and speaking to the clans. Scolding them for the spilled blood, the fighting and the hatred.

She didn't know what to think. It could be a mass hallucination. It was a weak reason to reject it, she knew, but she just... couldn't handle it all, right now.

Her paws had led her to the medicine den early morning, after a night of fitful sleep that was anything but restful. Hollow...mumble... wanted to push aside her thoughts of it all, Starclan and gods and ghosts and clans. She needed something else to focus on, so she found it. From what she had heard, things hadn't gone well in... other parts of the gathering, either. Some kind of Riverclan infighting. She didn't particularly care about their arguments or bickering, it wasn't her problem, but she did care about Meadowpaw. Hollowmumble needed to check on her, so she did.

It was easy to see that Meadowpaw wasn't doing well. They hadn't talked about it, but it was obvious on her face, no matter how much she tried to hide it. So, Hollowmumble decided to cast out all other responsibilities to stick around the medicine den for the day. Meadowpaw needed the comfort, that much was clear. Helping out wouldn't be bad, nor would learning the ins and outs of herbs and healing, since the disappearence of their last medicine cat. Might as well get herself familiar.

After a few hours of assisting Meadowpaw sort and clean out the den, she very hesitantly spoke up in the silence.

"...Meadowpaw. How are you... doing? Since... well, last night."

 

[Meadowpaw]

MEADOWPAW

x

StarClan being real wasn't new to Meadowpaw. She took a headfirst dive into the unknown a night after the fire. She could still feel the pain sometimes, spiderwebbing along her skin, heat sinking deep into muscle and bone. Being so close to death was what was what drew her there in the first place, into that field of light. For all the suffering, she was glad to have met Ragwort. He was dear to her—a cherished friend.

After seeing where he came from, believing in StarClan wasn't a jump. Then becoming Gladebloom's apprentice had changed something in her. Before the gathering, she'd seen more than just him. Starry figures had appeared in her dreams now and again, lingering at the edges of sleep.

What happened at the gathering was different. Meadowpaw wanted to trust them—they'd only ever tried to guide her—but after what happened… What she saw, what she felt—soaked in through her skin, her ears, her eyes—it was all she could think about. She didn't rest easy, and the lack of it left her feeling drained.

She hadn't felt so low in moons. Things had gotten better, for a time. Things did get better for a while. The happiest she'd been was after becoming Gladebloom's apprentice. Now her mentor—No, now her friend was gone. The medicine den felt colder than it ever had before, and lonelier with each passing day.

Meadowpaw tried to distract herself. She stayed busy. Owlbear still needed care. Honeyflower needed her and the kits could get sick or hurt at any moment. She clung to that—being needed—but that acher also pulled her down. She was still scared. What if something happened she couldn't handle? Something worse than a sniffle or a scratch?

Gladebloom had taught her so much, but not enough to fill her absence. Not enough that she knew what to do last night. The sight of all that blood had shaken her when she was needed most That wasn't how a medicine cat should be. If Rowanpaw wasn't there...

She sat quietly, eyes fixed on nothing. The soft patter of rain filling her ears when voice cut through the haze.

The apprentice startles, a paw curled uselessly over a mound of half-stripped stems. Right—Hollowmumble was helping. "Hmm?" Her lashes fluttered, blinking back to the present. She looked up at him and offered a small smile. "Sorry. I'm just tired, really."

Everyone who went to the gathering was shaken. It wasn't just her. Some cats were just better at bouncing back. What happened last night wouldn't be the last of the suffering she would see. She had to get better at bouncing back too. "I'm glad we all made it back safe." She sighs, "But seeing all that… it wore me out. I don't think any of us have seen anything that awful since the fire." Dustystar coming back after being killed was up there, but they hadn't had to watch.

And for what?

What did Juniperstar and Pikestar die for? Would it happen to Dustystar next? Could Meadowpaw really sit there and watch her lose a life, even knowing she had more? She would've thought that would've made it easier, but it didn't. "I've been wondering something." She turns to face her friend. "How does it make any sense to solve bloodshed with more bloodshed? I don't understand… do you?" Meadowpaw couldn't help but feel she sounded naive asking that.

Caring for the clan meant seeing cats get hurt—and fall ill—and die. That was the path she chose, that all medicine-cats chose. She didn't want to think about any of them dying, but it could happen and pretending otherwise wouldn't help anyone. Then again, how could anyone take another life and call it justice? That wasn't justice at all. That was revenge. Killing Pikestar hadn't solved whatever problems led them there in the first place and killing Juniperstar wouldn't bring back the cat they lost or make grieving them any easier. So... why?

x

I BELIEVE THAT THERES COURAGE

BUT ITS BURNIN' LIKE ASH IN THE WIND

x

WINDCLAN

MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE

10 MOONS

SHE/HER

Meadowpaw values kindness and remembrance. As a kit, she internalized her mother's lessons, but questioned whether her way is the only way. She has broken free from the heavy burden of her mother's expectations due to their estrangement after the fire. She remains kind and soft-spoken through all she's endured, but is not afraid to speak out for what she believes is right.

Meadow works tirelessly at any task she undertakes, desperate to prove herself capable and worthy despite her disability. Without her mother's guidance, she finds new ways to express herself.

In conversations, she is gentle, thoughtful, and withdrawn, often hiding her struggles, fearing others seeing her as incapable. She continues to have a strong bond not only with her sister, but with her adopted family as well. Meadow uses her new freedom to support and deepen the bonds with her clanmates. Additionally, she has started to explore the more spiritual side of herself…

Her worldview is a complicated mix of hope and frustration. She wants to believe that there's hope at the end of all the suffering, but feels trapped by her limitations. With enough time and support, she may find a way to overcome her limitations and accept herself.

 

[Hollowmumble]

Hollowmumble, -- 39 Moons / Windclan Cat -- Ages on the 14th
Black spotted ghost tabby with bright amber eyes.
She is friendly, yet quiet, and always willing to help.

Tagging @Meadowpaw

---

Hollowmumble sighed, looking at Meadowpaw with sorrowful eyes. She leaned a bit closer, pressing her side against Meadowpaw's for a moment, hoping to provide a small bit of comfort. Shaking her head, she spoke, quiet and somber. "You're right. The only thing violence causes is more violence. A lot of cats just... don't understand that." leaning her head back, she looked up at the top of the den, contemplating her words for a long moment. So many things to say, so little words to use.

"They..." Hollowmumble struggled. "They think... they're doing the right thing. They think they're protecting themselves and their families. That's... that's what drives them to do it. To hurt other cats. But... they just don't realize that in doing that, they're hurting others, and... and making the others want to defend themselves too, so they fight back and... it's just... a cycle of violence that can't be stopped." She looked down, thinking about the territory, and the new clans rules. "The borders don't help. Cats attacking anyone who crosses into their territory doesn't help. It just turns us against each other. At the barn nothing like this ever happened, because we all worked together and protected one another no matter what."

The other clans were so violent. The internal conflict within Riverclan, murdering their own leader... Skyclan seeking revenge on Thunderclan... it made her heart sink to think it was only a matter of time until they got dragged into it too. No, no she couldn't think like that. It wouldn't happen, because she would be kind. She refuses to be like them and give in to violence. "I... I don't think it's right. It's not right. We shouldn't be hurting each other. The only way to stop it from happening is to just... be kind. Help other cats. To not... hoard land and resources, prey and herbs. It would all work out if we just worked together. You know?" She looked over at Meadowpaw, hoping to see the same kind of understanding in her friend's eyes.

 

[Meadowpaw]

MEADOWPAW

x

She wanted to be able to handle things on her own, to be strong for everyone but getting that off her chest and being able to talk about it, made her feel lighter. Meadowpaw leaned into Hollowmumble, soft wary eyes blinking as she listened.

What she said made a lot of sense. Gladebloom had believed the same. She was quick to cooperate with the other medicine-cats, always choosing kindness first. That was how things should be. Not like what happened at the gathering. It was easy to shut each other out, to draw lines and close ranks, but it didn't have to be that way… right?

So much had changed since the fire. The borders—the new names—everything. Meadowpaw had seen the best and the worst of the cats she knew in the moons that followed. She mourned those they'd lost, but not just the ones who died. She'd watched warm, kind cats—cats she loved and admired—turn into cats she sometimes could hardly recognize. She still loved them and she knew they still loved her. But it hurt so much knowing they could never be what they once were.

If they were going to live side by side, then cruelty and fear couldn't be what held the clans together. Hollowmumble had said that better than she ever could. "That's how I feel too… and how Gladebloom felt." Her voice wavered slightly, heart aching, but she pressed on. "Before we even knew about the gathering, SkyClan and ThunderClan's medicine-cat apprentices Rowanpaw and Swallowpaw came to the border. They wanted us all to meet every half moon and they seemed sure we'd turn em down but Gladebloom wouldn't have any of that."

Her gaze drifts the stems she'd been stripping and then to the white of her paws. The blood had since washed away, but she couldn't wipe it from her mind. "If they can find the courage to reach out and work together, then I know others can too. We have to. What happened last night should never happen again."

There had to be something. What happened couldn't be undone, and maybe it couldn't even be fixed but there had to be a path forward. Could she do something to help? "Maybe StarClan was right about us going to gatherings again." It sounded strange after last nights failure, but maybe it wasn't so far-fetched. "What happened was awful but that doesn't mean we should give up on each other either. If we don't, then we'll given up on the idea of peace—and of ever working together."

Would anyone else feel the same? If WindClan chose to try again, would the others follow? SkyClan might, they seemed so devoted to StarClan and it was by StarClan's decree that they must, but the others? RiverClan was still struggling. That tom had fought with Pikestar because his kits were sick, so maybe they still needed herbs? If she went to visit them, then it'd be a chance to learn how Pikestar was doing too.

x

I BELIEVE THAT THERES COURAGE

BUT ITS BURNIN' LIKE ASH IN THE WIND

x

WINDCLAN

MEDICINE CAT APPRENTICE

10 MOONS

SHE/HER

Meadowpaw values kindness and remembrance. As a kit, she internalized her mother's lessons, but questioned whether her way is the only way. She has broken free from the heavy burden of her mother's expectations due to their estrangement after the fire. She remains kind and soft-spoken through all she's endured, but is not afraid to speak out for what she believes is right.

Meadow works tirelessly at any task she undertakes, desperate to prove herself capable and worthy despite her disability. Without her mother's guidance, she finds new ways to express herself.

In conversations, she is gentle, thoughtful, and withdrawn, often hiding her struggles, fearing others seeing her as incapable. She continues to have a strong bond not only with her sister, but with her adopted family as well. Meadow uses her new freedom to support and deepen the bonds with her clanmates. Additionally, she has started to explore the more spiritual side of herself…

Her worldview is a complicated mix of hope and frustration. She wants to believe that there's hope at the end of all the suffering, but feels trapped by her limitations. With enough time and support, she may find a way to overcome her limitations and accept herself.

 

[Hollowmumble]

Hollowmumble, -- 39 Moons / Windclan Cat -- Ages on the 14th
Black spotted ghost tabby with bright amber eyes.
She is friendly, yet quiet, and always willing to help.

Tagging @Meadowpaw

---

Hollowmumble stared at her in thought. "...Maybe you're right. A gathering, a... peaceful one... maybe it is the right thing to do. Even if cats stay divided, maybe it would help, just a little." It was all such... a mess. It was a mess. She wanted to curl up in a little hole and never come out. She wanted to hide, to run. She wished the barn was still around. She wished her housefolk were still around. She misses them so deeply. It would be so much easier to just give up.

"I think... the only way to bring peace is to lead by example. Show that it... that is is possible, even if we have to bleed for it." Hollowmumble would so willingly bleed for it. If her blood would make sure nobody was ever ripped to shreds again, to make sure that nobody would be scared half to death of their neighbors, to bring about sharing and gentle friendships and peaceful borders... she would bleed for it. She would die for it, if need be.

"I know it can happen. It happened before. At the barn we had peace. Everyone did their part and got along, and even if they didn't get along, we were all there to make sure they gave each other space and calmed down. It could happen again we just... we need to work at it." It would take time, of course. Time and a gentle paw. But it could happen. She truly beleived that.