Camp i'm not oblivious to you [ lichentuft ]

[lavenderpaw]

She should be talking to Hazecloud. Her mother seemed to have an answer for everything, and was far less... literal, about any question she'd ask. As opposed to Lichentuft, or maybe even Smokewreath, a question such as the one she builds in her chest may not earn a sidewards glance and a huff of, "It just happens." Hazecloud would afford her with the most romanticized point of view, allow her to thrust her heart into the wind and not warn her about getting hurt.

... but maybe that's why she idles with Lichentuft. They're not stern, per say, but they are ultimately a realist, a quality that Lavenderpaw has learned to appreciate. She wants to be anchored in some way, for the way her heart flutters around Asterpaw feels unreal. Is it normally so easily to fall in love? Growing up, she isn't sure she really thought about it. Her mothers and father were just... together. They worked so easily, even when they bickered. She cannot think of even a single moment where any of them no longer fit with another. But had it been easy, she doesn't know.

"Lichentuft?" she summons the other's attention away from the water's edge, the two of them wasting time searching for flashes of fish in the reflective surface. Lichentuft more often prefers land (or air) hunting, she knows, but maybe this is a moment they can both give a little. "How did you know you loved Hazecloud?" The young molly keeps her inquiry simple, as she's almost sure littering it with anything more would stump Lichentuft further than a question over emotions already would.

@lichentuft

 

[lichentuft]

The ripples hold more stories now for her children than she can lay claim to; they still live at the shoreside in many ways, remember the love and the life lived racing along the sun-warmed docks. This place is far different and besieged on all sides by strangers. At one time they could've named every life on that boardwalk... now, it is ghostly and terrifying in its unknowns... and to be set here, to raise her children here. To wander petaled fields with her loves, her hearts, her treasures and be estranged to it at the same time? It begs an ache, that nostalgic sort of pain that nips at the tenderest spots. "Lichentuft?" Icy eyes crack away from the river-side to find her daughter, ever the spitting image of her mother and all her wispy nature... eager to float away on the next adventurous breeze if it was willing enough to carry her. It is a free-spirited approach to life that she finds hard to grapple with... but tries nonetheless to understand that wanderlust.

"Already sick of fishing?" Because that makes the most sense, that maybe all of this waiting with so little to show for is boring her. But the question levied against her is a far more daunting one than she is prepared for. She practically chokes on her reply, "H-how did I... your mother?" Her paws feel warm suddenly despite the chilling weather, the cold of the river's splash... Her brows furrow as an embarrassed sigh cascades in a foggy breath from her maw. "She is... insufferable," she answers, poorly, stammering to catch herself in her explanation before Lavenderpaw can flee to her smoky dam and report the poor review from her mate; "But it is far more insufferable to be without her. She... just...." Her paws gesture to some loose shape in the air, as if love were a tangible object to be seen plastered into the soft parts between her ribs. "Fits... in the empty spaces."

She lifts a suspended paw to rub at her temple, already fearful of how this interrogation might proceed, "You picked me for this conversation? You're quite certain you wish for my input on this?"

 

[lavenderpaw]

Unexpectedly, Lichentuft struggles with the question... It's almost as if the fragility of love can differ from soul to soul, and that no one cat can truly pinpoint the hardship and endless delight that it comes with. Lavenderpaw still tilts her crown away with vague displeasure as the parent she relied on most to be honest and easy seems to struggle still. At best, she is not upset with the blue-pointed moggy, but more with the oncoming understanding that she may never get an answer that would satisfy her curiosity. Still, she listens, because she asked and Lichentuft at least affords her an answer rather than trying to brush her off.

"Yeah," she mumbles. The explanation is nice enough, but she's not sure it fits her with Asterpaw. It's not that he slots in easily with her life (though she'd agree that being apart from him hurts to some degree,) but rather that he introduces something new and exciting into it. He does not satiate her but rather inspires new desires, new curiosities, new hungers. With him, the world is vast and endless, and without him... it's a small tide pool. No less interesting in all that survives, but easy to overlook and let pass by. "Sure," she huffs, figuring that to be the end of it.

Yet, her mother imparts her own confusion, and Lavender responds with an exaggerated sigh. "You know Hazecloud better than I do - fits in the empty spaces, and all," she teases more than mocks, but still leans into the conversation. "She would've told me how you two met, and how it was a whirlwind of romance and excitement and endless love. I would be sitting by this shore until my toes froze and fell off..." she blows a raspberry next, offering a continued, "Smokewreath would've directed me to you or her, anyways." Easy as that.

Still, she lifts her gaze to across the small stream. They are far from the borders, far from even scenting a ThunderClan cat, but she still brings her gaze to where it would be. "Am I too young...? I... don't know what I'm doing," she remains in her bare emotion beside Lichentuft, insisting that her parent be the one she offers this knowledge to. They will be stuck here while she begs for answers, whether they want to or not.