Private i'm not the waiting kind // moth

[SABLESTAR]

Gone was the shaken ground they once stood on and for now he would allow himself the moments of calm to breathe. For at least while it lasted. Life was an unending rise and fall to a tide uncontrolled and he would bask in this until it turned once again.

Sablestar sat at the gnarled roots of the cedar within the camps center, carefully placing down the nettles he collected to create more sturdy bedding to lay on. The space behind the reeds had been where he made home since they arrived, and with it's placement he saw it a perfect abode for a leader. Right in the middle of it all, but given a curtain over foliage to mute some of the noise.

As the tom turned to sweep more inside he found himself caught in another's stare. "Moth...?" He prompted with little more than a grumble, but it couldn't be said if he was truly irritated at the approach. "Were you needing help with finding a den?" He really ought to keep track of who still needed to find a place to sleep.

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• @Moth
  "mew"
• 

  SABLE— he/him ･fifty-two moons ･colonist ; no clan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes

 

[Mothbite]

-

indentMoth clicks his tongue in annoyance, avoiding Sablestar's gaze. "I don't need help with something as simple as that. I'm not a kitten, you know." He shifts his eyes, shyly, to meet with his leader's. "I wanted to apologize, actually. For calling you out during the meeting. Moth takes in a harsh, sharp breath, before letting it out softly. "I know you're doing a lot for all of us, and that you've given up a lot. We all have. I don't want to seem ungrateful, I guess." He does think this place sucks, but at least it's theirs, something they don't need to share with anyone. That alone was a huge boon.

indent"What were you talking about, when you said this place is a treasure trove? It seems like a total dump to me." Maybe Sablestar saw something he had missed, hidden among the mud and pine trees. Moth hopes, in some small corner of his heart, that ablestar really had discovered something tremendous. Maybe then, this new 'Shadowclan' wouldn't be quite as doomed as Moth had been expecting.

-

 

[SABLESTAR]

The answer is more fiery than he anticipated, but Moth made up for it quickly. An apology that Sablestar shrugged off with little care, it wasn't the worst thing he had heard. Hell, it wasn't the worst he heard from their new Clanmates even, but maybe it was nice to know not all of this frustration and anger wasn't with him at it's core. He hadn't been the only one to take losses, he hadn't taken the worst either, but he had endured a great change alongside them. Moth's words are just another reminder of Juniper's rejection.

"That is appreciated, considering." Considering Moth was still here standing, and if Sable was as cruel as they believed he could have had his more loyal followers flay those who spoke out against him. The mercy he served only briefly flickered through his mind. Instead he thought Moth's lack for objective thinking. A literal mindset searching for reason. "Walk with me, I can show you." Though his eyes were hardly in any shape to go sightseeing, he knew enough of the pocosin's western path to show Moth something new.

The tuxedo hooked his claws into the soft earth, drying in the sparse hours without any rain as he brought his warrior down a similar path he, Shade and Dunny had the night before. Their scent had gone awash with the heavy rainfall, just as he expected. "Sit here. Listen." Between the spindly branches above them the sky had grown overcast, but he had brought them to a kinder view: murky pond clustered with pond pines at its edge.

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• "mew"
• 

  SABLE— he/him ･fifty-two moons ･colonist ; no clan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes

 

[Mothbite]

-

indentMoth huffs. "Alright, fine, i'm following." He holds back a rude comment about letting a nearly blind cat lead him around unfamiliar ground. Moth had just apologized, he doesn't want to muck it all up again. He really did respect Sablestar quite a bit. He was upset, of course, to be banished to such a miserable little corner of the forest, but it's not as if it's totally Sablestar's fault. If Hawthorne had just listened to them, or just surrendered, then they could have all moved past this with full bellies and far less bloodshed. 'If only he hadn't stuck to his stupid pride.'

indent As they walk, Moth thinks to all he's left behind. The day-to-day in the colony wasn't great, especially once the famine hit, but it was safe. Moth had settled in nicely, and formed a stable, comforting routine of hunting in the forest and sunbathing in camp. He wasn't sure the pocosin even got any sun. It certainly didn't have any now. The few relationships he did have were left behind as well. He would never get the chance to win over Ghost, to see the tomcat look at him with the same shining eyes Moth regarded him with. He and Serpent had been on bad terms they last spoke - but still, he craves her affection. The memories of his time under her care once warmed his heart, a reminder of his value in the eyes of at least one cat. 'There's no way we can go back. She thinks we killed her mate. We can't recover from something like that.' Hawthorne had been an enemy, an obstacle to progress, but he was still Serpent's family. He couldn't help but grieve a bit, on her behalf. 'At least Rat is still here,' He thinks, bitterly. As if his own sister had ever regarded him as anything other than a shameful reminder of their shared past. Moth is sure not even the increased proximity will make her look at him for more than a few secnds before running away.

indent"Sit here. Listen."

indent Sable's words break him from his reverie. 'Here? Whats so special about this place?' Moth can imagine it might look nice during greenleaf, when plants are lush and the pond was stocked with singing frogs. Now, though, it just looked like a sad, nearly frozen puddle, tucked within a shaded corner of the swamp. Sablestar had seen something in this place, and Moth is determined to find out what it was. Obediently, he sits, closing his eyes to focus on the sounds of the still forest.

-

 

[SABLESTAR]

There is a long, silent pause that stilled the space around them. Sablestar sat beside Moth with a more relaxed demeanor. Something with the nature of the pocosin felt like stepping into a familiar air, perhaps nostalgia. Maybe his parents had lived in a similar place when he and Gray were just kits but when the shadows swallowed the trees it felt like stepping into his own coat.

Even as leafbare clutched the trees with brittle bark and drained the color from the shrubbery surrounding them, the peaty soil still hugged at his pads as he walked. The scent of petrichor that followed him, the cricketsong that pulsed across the cedars and pond pines.

Even now as the breeze of winter swept at their backs he felt relief with the scent of sedge and poplar. "It sounds like home, something just for us. Not for someone else's Colony or ego. Just... this." Rebuilding towards greatness, a legacy of their own. "This place is yours just as much as it is mine. It will grow with us." Newleaf would come and they would get to see the real beauty that only glimmered in sparks now.

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• "mew"
• 

  SABLESTAR— he/him ･fifty-four moons ･leader; shadowclan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes

 

[Mothbite]

Still so young, Desperate for attention!

indenttt"It sounds like home."

indent The rustle of the wind through the branches, the crunch of the frozen mud between his paws, the distant call of geese. These were the sounds of home? Moth hesitantly opens his eyes, eyes adjusting to the starlight. He watches the shifting of the nighttime shadows, while Sablestar's words ring in his ears. A place for us... Mine as much as anyone..

indent In all his life, Moth can't think of a time he's had something of his own. As a kitten, the little resources he could scrounge up were shared, sometimes unwillingly, with his sisters. Since he left, he's been wandering aimlessly, never settling down long enough to collect keepsakes. Even in the colony, he had little to his name - other than his nest, which nobody offered to share with him. Maybe he had gotten a little greedy, over time - Sablestar claiming the pocoson as his makes his heart beat a little faster.

indent"That sounds. Nice." The usual bite in his voice is gone. Instead, it's replaced with a cautious whisper, released from his muzzle as a foggy breath that rises into the sky and fades into the cold night. This new home may not be rich with prey, even come Greenleaf, but what they find is theirs alone. They wouldn't need to fight to fill their bellies anymore. There wouldn't be any more squabbles over leadership, or illness. It'll grow with us. As Shadowclan flourishes, so will our territory.

indent "Maybe getting chased out here wasn't the end of the world, though, I wish it had happened some other way..." Moth stiffens and his mind catches up to his words, and he begins to stammer. "N-not that I'm not proud to fight for you! It's just... A lot of cats died. It leaves a bad taste in my mouth."

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Mothbite | 19 moons | Warrior of Shadowclan ababababbnihfibnfdifdhfhabbabab

 

[SABLESTAR]

An unreadable hum pressed between his lips. Of course Sablestar would wish the same, he hadn't set out wanting to kill Hawthorne first. He just wanted to prove a point in the end, that he didn't have the tenacity as Sable. He was so wrapped up in the fairytale Fray had sold him, that it only served to harm the one's he loved. He had gotten what he wanted in the end, but as such a deadly cost... A lonely price to pay for these lives. "It wasn't what I wanted, either." He solemnly agreed, closed eyes aimed for his paws.

"We lost cats on both sides. I couldn't see much in the retreat, but there was... a lot of loss to feel." He could have sworn to see Juniper's brother among the limp bodies littering the battle. "But if it was truly the only way we could have taken to get here, to get somewhere that made sense, that led to something greater..." Sablestar took a long inhale before lifting his gaze to look at Moth again. "I would take it. Even if it meant I couldn't have Juniper, too. I would do what's right."

There had to be some righteousness to it after all. He wasn't a man of irrationality or paranoia. He knew there was truth to his words, why else would so many gather to his call? Why else would they stick around now? There was pride to be had in sticking to one's morals, after all. If Fleecefur found him worthy of this power, this immortality, than it had to be true.

this heart beats cold like the devil his own

• "mew"
• 

  SABLESTAR— he/him ･fifty-four moons ･leader; shadowclan ･penned by gonkpilled

  a black and white tuxedo with dark amber eyes

 

[Mothbite]

Still so young, Desperate for attention!

indentttMoth hums -or, perhaps, whimpers - in absentminded thought. Giving up what he had for the chance to make something greater. He usually wasn't one for such lofty ideals. Most of his life, he had been happy just looking after himself, doing what needed doing in order to scrape by. The idea of something greater had never really occurred to him. What could be greater than a warm place to sleep at night, a full belly, and no worries about twolegs or predators? Trying to strive for any more than that sounded foolhardy.

indentttSablestar made him want to try, though. When everyone else was fine laying down and dying, it was Sable who had stood up and told them that there was a better life possible. He had been the one to lead them all to their new home, despite his dire injuries, and help them settle down. And now, he spoke of the cats of the past and the legacy of Shadowclan. Was this 'something greater'? Would carrying on this legacy bring his life meaning beyond survival?

indentttEven still, the wounds they had sustained in the colony's fracture would take time to fade. Not just the physical wounds, like the clawmarks that still dug into Moth's flank, but the emotional wounds. It was only in their nature to miss those they had left behind.

indenttt"Do you think it's ever possible, that we could... make up?" The idea of being an enemy in the eyes of his former colonymates makes his stomach lurch and twist. It wasn't a mark he wanted placed upon his name for the rest of his life. "Maybe if we got the chance to explain, they'd understand." Moth hangs his head low. Even as he speaks, he knows he's talking nonsense. 'After a fight like that, who would ever forgive us?'

ababaugfbiufhufbdfduibabababa

Mothbite | 19 moons | Warrior of Shadowclan ababababbnihfibnfdifdhfhabbabab