Talon Talon
{$title} Anxiety, anger lashouts, ptsd & trauma mentions | before rain event, day after herb patrol
Talon had left Meadowpaw. Maybe she wasn't alone- she had Staggerdance. But it didn't make it any easier. His body shook, piercing blue eye violent. What if they got attacked? It wouldn't matter, not when he had been so close to hurting her himself. He didn't understand himself, and the frustration began to claw at him, bite into his flesh.
He couldn't get the vision of her tears out of his mind.
Twice. Twice he's made her cry. Once, he's made morningpaw cry. The two cats he's grown closest to, and he's hurting them. Idiot. Meadowpaw and Dimmingsun had been asleep when he returned. At least it seemed that way, he didn't care enough, slipping in on quiet paws and dipping into his nest. But the morning after, as they talked and sorted herbs, he watched carefully with his blue gaze. Blank, emotionless, but what could be different? It was normal for Talon.
You hurt me child. And what did I tell you? You use those to survive, not play. Do not dig your talons into me, again. His mother warned, blue eyes looking down on him, his head dropping in simple obedience. Okay mother. He had returned. Because he was taught that sorry was for regret, that sorry meant you cared. And caring was dangerous. Caring would get him killed. If he cared, he would rely on somebody- and lose his life, and her scars proved that story. So of course, he listened. He listened, he followed, until the child he once was was gone.
He cared about his mother, and losing her destroyed those feelings. She was right after all. Tears slipped down his cheeks, his tiny form sniffling as he leaned against a tree bigger than he could have ever imagined. His belly rumbled, his throat dry- caring almost cost him his life.
Suddenly, Talon began moving, slipping past the medicine cats without a word. He moved past his usual spot, moved past the makeshift burrows of dens. He didn't stop, he couldn't stop. Rage curled in his stomach, his taught lips spreading into gritted teeth, his pupil slitting in anger. If he already lost life because of emotions he barely understood, why did it matter if they cried? He didn't touch them.
His body shook as his breathing began to quicken again. It took hours to get under control the day prior. His claws flexed underneath each step, before a snarl ripped from his jaws and he struck obsidian talons into a stump near him.
He tore, he ripped- his throat felt raw from the snarls and growls that escaped his body. His muscles sore as the sun moved across the sky and time passed. Shredded pieces of bark clung to his pelt, his paws, and littered the grass around him. His eyes showed the distance and cold he felt.
He shouldnt care. He didn't. He didn't care.
He paced, moved back and forth across the small area. His tail whipped behind him, lashing. His claws protruded from white spotted paws, and Talons head lowered, his body twisting as he turned and turned. He'd leave. He had to.
It wasn't safe for him.
It wasn't safe for... them.
@Meadowpaw @DIMMINGSUN
-
-
Talon he/him, windclan 8 moons old.
black tabby with dark greyish brown undercoat and white underbelly. white crest on chest, and scars lining left side of face, blinding his right eye. icey blue eyes and white that is slowly starting to streak his features. Back scars non-existent for now.
mentored by Merrystalk // mentoring none
littermate to none
NPC x NPC / father/mother to none / mated to none
"speech" // "thoughts"
penned by Deidre ↛ deidre on discord, feel free to dm for plots. Art by PurpleCandyCorn.