Territory RC seasons change but the love remains // pikestar

[Wavesong]

And that's why we share all we have with you
Though there's little to be found
When all you've got is nothing
There's a lot to go around

.

Wavesong tried, stars, she truly did. She had lost her mate, not her life, even if some days it felt like the two were one and the same. The ache still lingered, a low tide that never quite receded, but she learned to breathe through it. To move through the camp with her head high, even if her heart pulled toward the edges of RiverClan territory more often than she'd admit. Sometimes she went there simply to watch the water, other times… to look for Adder. Just to tell him, if he was out there listening, that their kits were strong. That they were growing into bright, beautiful little things, full of laughter and mischief. She wanted him to know that part of him still lived in them. Yet when it came to Strawberrykit, the words always caught in her throat. A small, selfish fear whispered that, because she wasn't his by blood, Adder might not care. But Wavesong cared. Oh, she cared with everything she had.

Life went on. The nursery, once a prison of grief, became a haven again. She began to walk patrols, to feel the mud under her paws, to breathe freely beyond the reeds. And when she left, she knew her guppies were safe, Littlebrook had a good heart and steady paws. " Pike! " she called, voice lilting with genuine cheer as she spotted the silver-furred leader ahead. She trotted up and brushed her flank against his, eyes warm and glimmering with affection. " Thank ye fer joinin' me on this crispy leaf-fall day. " she chimed, whiskers twitching with amusement. " Feels like th' prey's gettin' ready fer th' cold, aye? We'll have t'be quicker than them if we want supper. "

She walked alongside him with the easy rhythm of old friendship, gaze flicking to the horizon as a gust of chill air ruffled her damp fur. " How have things been? An' how's Iciclepaw doin' with his trainin'? Feels like I missed half o' RiverClan while I was cooped up in th' nursery. " A playful wink followed, though the softness in her tone lingered. Then, quieter, she pressed a bit closer to him. " How are ye, truly? " she asked, her voice lowering, the humor giving way to honesty. " This'll be our first leaf-fall… our first leaf-bare as RiverClan. There'll be hardships, aye, but… ye don't need t'carry it alone. If there's anythin' I can do, anythin', ye can lean on me, Pike. I'm no fragile kit, despite what some may think. " The faintest grin tugged at her lips, eyes glinting like light on the surface of the river. " Promise. "

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

40 MOONS

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RIVERCLANNER

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[PIKESTAR PIKESTAR]

Wavesong had promsied him that they would hang out today. He would be lying if he said he wasn't a bit uncertain of her promise, considering it was difficult to get someone to look after them. That is why when she approached him, he couldn't help but smile. A chuff rumbles from his throat as she brushes her flank against his.

"You act like you haven't seen me in moons!"

He quickly brushes his own flank against hers, reciprocating affection. It had been some time since they hung out. For obvious reasons.

"No. Thank you, I know how hard it is for the kits to let you go."

Pricklekit whined when I had to tell them no. No one really tells you how hard kits can truly be. When it came to hurrying up due to prey getting ready for Leafbare, he nods. And so, the two set off together.

A comfortable silence settles between them as they pad side by side. At the mention of Iciclepaw's training he smiles,

"He's doing pretty good! He's still on the shy side, but he's really grown this moon. I remember when he used to crane his head to look at me. Oh, and trust me when I say you haven't missed much. Unless you count Pineheart and Frostmoth sighing when I do something silly in camp as important? Thankfully things have been gotten better."

His guard is down. He is happy. When she pressed a bit closer, green eyes shifted to meet blue. Huh? What's going on? He didn't wait long for an answer.

The moment she asks how he is, his green eyes widen. his paws are frozen on the spot. He does not turn to look at her. She was trying to be humorous to make him feel at ease, which is not the case. He can appreciate her attempt, but already he thinks of golden red fur. The wretched feelings he kept buried were beginning to claw at his gut, demanding he give into rage and grief all the same. Of the stupid mistake he made back then, kissing the man who left him. Of confessing of feelings that hadn't quite gone away. Then, from the same clan... Windclan, he started talking to Dimmingsun.

The medicine cat was amusing and he found himself wanting to speak to him more. It seemed like the Windclan medicine cat was amused by him too. Unfortunately, he was reminded of the fact his former love was on the same clan. Part of him wanted to march to Dustystar and tell her that their neutrality was through, but he knew it would be out of pettiness. The other part wanted Riverclan and Windclan to become allies so he could inflict hurt on Goldenroar. However, he could only think of Meadowpaw and Dimmingsun. He cared for them and did not desire to seek vengeance out of pettiness. The ones who would suffer would be his clan, and they've suffered enough.

Nevertheless, he refocuses his attention to Wavesong. She speaks of Leafbare. How it would be their first. She assumes that his burden is merely Leafbare. It's not. There is much he's hidden from her and from everyone else. Why? Out of cowardice. He could only image the looks of shame cast upon him for his questionable decisions. When he turns to look at her, she is smiling. I'm sure he would be happy that you can still smile like that. The image of a brown tom worms its way into his mind for a second before he shakes his head.

"I'm... I'm actually not super worried about Leafbare. I am worried about all of us having enough food and having herbs sure, but when I think about all of us in the Shipyard... I can't help but feel like we'll be okay."

He doesn't elaborate. All of them lived together in the Shipyard for moons. Even longer than they lived here in their new home. He recalls the lack of shelter in the Shipyard. One Leafbare the shelter he had stayed in had it's roof blown off. Not only was he terrified, but he was drenched instantly. Even though he practically dragged by Willowburn to her shelter with Smokewreath, he still got sick. He spent a whole week ill. They had no medicine cat at the time. The cats who took care of him only made sure to keep him warm and give him water. He wasn't too hungry that week. It was difficult to believe that they lived in the Shipyard for so long, yet there was proof that they lived it.

Was it so wrong to be a little relieved?

The silver tom looks at her. There is a long silence that passes between them. Before she can say anything else, he finally speaks.

"I've done some things you won't approve of."

There is a shift in the air as he closes his eyes and grimaces.

"Do you know Goldenroar? Windclan's deputy? He... We were mates."

The news must be surprising to her. After all, he never shared his love life with others. When he arrived to the Shipyard for the first time, he excluded Goldenroar from his story. It had been too painful to talk about. What happened was still recent back then.

"I ran into him one night at fourtrees. He apologized for leaving me in the middle of the night. He was distraught thinking I was with someone else, waiting for them at fourtrees. It was obvious he still had feelings for me. Then... He asked how I felt about him. If I waited for his return."

What do you think of me now?

"I told him the truth. That my feelings hadn't gone away, and how I waited for him. Wavesong, I made the mistake of kissing him."

She need not look to hear his regret. However, if she looked into his now open green eyes... She could see the war raging within. Love was a complicated thing. Not once did Pikestar ask her if she regretted loving Adder, nor did he ask her if she still loved him. Even if things ended the way they did... He can say without a doubt that Adder loved Wavesong more than anything. The love shared between them was mutual and it was beautiful.

"He asked if we could try again due to my mistake. I asked him how? How would he prove himself? Why should I trust the tom that left me without a word? And what if our clans? I have a duty to Riverclan and I wouldn't abandon it. When I asked if he would leave Windclan, he looked conflicted. In the end, we left without confirming anything."

𝐨𝐨𝐜 𓆩♱𓆪 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭

• PIKESTAR

  — leader of riverclan, former shipyard cat
  ♱ 42 moons — he/him — ages realistically on the 1st — mentoring iciclepaw
  ♱ speech is

  "#36D9AB"

  — thoughts are italics — attacks are underlined
  ♱ short haired silver mackerel tabby with green eyes
  ♱ peaceful & healing powerplay permitted — underline & tag when attacking
  ♱ penned by velou — kasaven on discord — open to plots & dms
  

 

[Wavesong]

The ocean is in my soul,
And it's pulling me back to shore.
I'm letting go of the weight that's dragging me down.

.

A gentle laugh escaped her, a twinkle lighting her sky-blue eyes. It was always hard for the kits to let her go. They were so used to her constant presence, her warmth, her stories, her watchful gaze that her leaving camp even for a short time always brought small protests and pouts. Especially from young Troutkit. If he had his way, he would've joined her on this very outing. But she'd had to kneel beside him, voice soft but firm, explaining that the stars didn't have that adventure planned for him today. There would be other days, their days, when his paws were stronger and his lungs steadier, when leafbare's chill could no longer bite him so deeply.

For now, he had to grow. He had to survive.

And that thought... That whisper of fear haunted her even now. ' How will he weather the coming cold? ' she wondered. His frail little body... She swallowed hard, forcing the ache down. She would have to trust Jinglemoon. Trust her clan. Trust her family to carry him through.

" Aye, I've noticed that. " she said at last, a smile curling at her lips as she padded alongside Pikestar. " He's really growin'. Becomin' more open by th'day. I remember th'wee tike that used t'jump or stutter whenever ye so much as looked at him before ye took him as yer apprentice. " Her tone softened with fond pride. " Ye done well by him, starfish. Yer turnin' him into a fine warrior. " She gave him a gentle nudge with her shoulder, a soft purr bubbling in her throat before she stifled a laugh. Pikestar was growing too, she hoped they all saw it. He was far from perfect, but he was learning. Slowly, stubbornly, he was shaping himself into the kind of leader RiverClan needed. The kind a ship could weather storms under.

When Pikestar came to a sudden halt, she blinked and stopped as well, her head tilting in quiet curiosity. There was something heavy on his face, something deep, like the sea before a storm. She waited patiently, paws still, ears angled forward as he spoke. His first words, that leafbare didn't trouble him, made her want to argue. Her tongue twitched with warnings about the freezing river, the thinning fish, the hunger that would gnaw at bellies, the sickness that could come. But she held her peace. She could see there was more on his mind, something he needed to get out before the tide of courage left him. So she simply listened, tail curling neatly around her paws as he spoke on.

And then came the confession.

Her eyes widened, the words landing like pebbles dropped into a still pool. WindClan's deputy... Goldenroar. Her breath caught, eyes narrowing slightly as she tried to piece together what she was hearing. That cat and Pikestar? For a moment she thought she must've misheard, but no... There it was, plain as day. A ghost of the past, surfacing after moons beneath the surface. " Ah... " she breathed softly, gaze flicking down for a moment. " I see. "

She listened quietly as Pikestar spoke, of love, of apology, of a kiss. And though surprise lingered, there was no judgment in her eyes. Only a deep, knowing sadness. When he finished, she drew in a slow breath through her nose, closing her eyes for a heartbeat before letting out a soft chuckle that didn't quite reach her smile. " Love is love... " she said gently. " I can't fault ye fer that, Pike. Not one bit. If anythin', I'd like t'give that golden furball a good few whacks fer hurtin' yer feelin's. " Her voice softened then, warm but steady. " But aye... I understand. It's hard, what he felt. What ye feel. Th'both o' ye... "

Her gaze turned distant for a moment, reflecting the rippling light of the creek. " If he asked ye t'leave RiverClan for him, ye'd have been just as torn. Ye love yer clan too deep t'ever abandon it. " A sigh escaped her as she looked back at him, her tone gentle but honest. " I won't lie t'ye, Pike. I don't see good comin' from this, not with th'clans as they are. I wish I could tell ye t'try again, if yer heart still aches for him... But I don't think th'stars or th'clans would be kind t'ye both. "

She hesitated then, her voice softening to almost a whisper. " So maybe th'question isn't what's right or wrong, but what ye can bear. Do ye love him enough t'try again, despite what it'll cost? Or... do ye love him enough t'let him go, t'spare both yer hearts from breakin' beneath the weight of two clans' stares? "

Her gaze held his then, steady, understanding.

Speech, thoughts/emphasis

41 MOONS

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RIVERCLANNER

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